


Broken Crown

by Werecakes



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Complete, F/M, Fili needs to self sacrifice less, Gen, Kili's a good brother, Kili's not one to roll over and let this happen, Never settle for anything less than what you deserve, Sigrun is a bitch, arranged marriages suck balls, love wins in the end, read this, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-01-07 04:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 50,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werecakes/pseuds/Werecakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is outraged when Fili is sent away to start his courtship in an arranged marriage. </p><p>While Fili tries his best to bear down on this turn of events, being promised to a dwarven lady he does not like, Kili tries to find a way to get his brother off the hook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Upsetting Beginnings

Kili’s back was stiff, taut like his bowstring waiting for someone to make him snap. His tongue loaded with words and ready to launch at anyone who would dare to speak up against his challenge to the king of Erebor.

“This is not your place.” Thorin hissed.

The archer was given what he needed and he threw himself into the fray like an arrow to a target. He thumped his hand against his chest as he shouted as loudly as his throat would allow. “How is it not my place?! He is my _brother_. We had followed you our entire lives, never once questioning your orders! We had gratefully fallen into line to help in **your** quest to reclaim the last kingdom of our people!” He surged forward throwing his hand back towards Fili who was standing in shock, mouth open as his brother continued to verbally lash at their uncle on his behalf. “We had stood in front of your dying body to be struck down, our souls cradled in the palms of Mahal only to be given a second chance in this world!” 

Kili pointed at their king, his eyes dark in rage. “And I will not allow you to waste that gift on an arranged marriage!”

“He is of age Kili! He must marry and you will need to soon as well!”

“We will marry whom we deem worthy of our affections, not on who you think will give us better trades!”

Thorin snarled, like a great wolf descending upon a whelp he stormed up to Kili. The younger only moved back enough to accommodate the king in his personal space. “I will not listen to a child that peers bashfully at an elf.”

“That has nothing to do with Fi-”

“He will marry Sigrun, he leaves in a fortnight for their first night of courtship and this is final.” Thorin turned and stormed off, slamming the door behind him.

“No. NO!” Kili turned, his temper flaring. He grabbed the closest thing he could, his fingers wrapping around the wood of a chair. He hefted it over his head and ran at a wall, smashing it down against the stone as he screamed in rage. The wood splintered, twisting in his grip as the chair broke. 

“Kili.” Fili tried to speak over his brother.

The archer punched the wall, knuckles splitting from the power put behind it.

“Kili!!”

Before his brother could throw another punch he grabbed his brother’s fist in his palm. His fingers clenched tight as he had to stop him from attempting to break his hand. The intervention made the brunet look over, brown eyes to blue. Fili sighed, his shoulders pushed down from the weight of the situation. He didn’t want to marry anyone he didn’t know. But he knew his duty as the heir, Thorin was right, it was time for him to marry, try to start a family. He did not like the idea that he would be moving away from the home they had fought so hard to reclaim. After the courtship, there was the claiming. Once Sigrun was officially with child they would travel back to Erebor to hold an official wedding as their line was secure. If she could not get pregnant within the first two years of the “claiming” then he was to be arranged to be with another. It was not ideal. Not in the slightest.

He had dreamed as a young dwarf that he would save a dwarven lass, be the hero. They would run off together and kiss and love each other. They would have as many children as they possibly could and he would support her. He would work hard even if it was at the forge or as a wood cutter, he would make sure she wore the best of any clothing, she would never go hungry and sleep on the softest of beds. He had fantasized about it so much that he even had twelve names for children, but those names halted on his tongue when Thorin had announced that Fili would be shipped off to marry some unknown woman. Those names were for children he would have with someone he loved, not someone he was forced to be with.

This whole situation had thrown his world upside down, strung up like a snare trap. It came so suddenly that he had to excuse himself, feeling dizzy and sick. When he got to his room he had thrown up. Even now his stomach twisted, because though he was angry that his future was being robbed he had his duties.

“I have to do this.” Fili said softly to his brother.

“Bullshit!” Kili turned and grabbed Fili’s shoulders. “You don’t have to do this. We’ll go back to the Blue Mountains, get Ma, she’ll set Thorin straight.”

“Mum and Da’s marriage was arranged!!” The room fell into silence as his words sunk into Kili’s head. The father the loved so much, who bounced them on his knee and made them laugh. The blond dwarf that read to them at night until he was taken away from this world… he did not marry their mother out of love? But…

Kili shook his head as memories came to him. Their father and mother rarely touched hands, they only had done kisses on the forehead or cheek in front of Fili and Kili. Most of the time they were not in the same room as each other unless they were there for the benefit of their little boys. It made him feel sick, a dark lie buried in such a happy past.

“We can’t go running to mum every time we have a bit of trouble with uncle, Kili.” Fili said softer. He slid a hand to the back of Kili’s neck, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We’re not little dwarflings anymore… and mum and da’s marriage wasn’t all that bad. If nothing else it gave me the best brother in the world.”

This seemed to disarm the fiery prince who leaned forward and rested his head on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m not going to give up on this Fee…”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from my baby brother.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kili said half heartedly as he pulled Fili into a hug.

“Then stop being a big baby.” The blond smiled and returned the hug. He did not know how many more of the warm embraces he would be allowed to have.

\------------------------------------

The two weeks came and went, Fili found himself on the road with only a select few dwarves with him and a waggon pulling on things that Thorin deemed worth sending. Overly posh things that Fili had no desire to be around. He was a dwarf of the Blue Mountains. He wasn’t used to large decadent… anything! He was used to small things, necessary things. He still had his peasant knife and old, beaten, brass lantern. He had clothing made that was much like the clothing he had started off the quest to reclaim Erebor, the style much more toned down from the silvers and golds woven into rich royal purples and blues that Thorin made him wear. He was starting to hate the royal lifestyle, but more so the duties. 

Kili had been right, this whole arranged marriage was bullshit. And by the time he was sent, he had forgotten what it was like to smile. His eyes felt heavy from lost sleep and his heart filled his stomach to the point he had no appetite. His only hope now was that Mahal struck him down in his travels. 

And as he neared the White Mountains he felt himself feel sicker, dreading more, wanting nothing else but to turn around and run his pony to the ground. He needed to flee, but he continued on. 

By the time they reached the White Mountains Fili’s group moved more like a funeral procession. He had his hood up against the bright, hot sun, keeping it off of his head as he was greeted by many dwarves all excited to see him and if circumstances were different he would have hoped off of his pony and greeted them with smiles and cheers. He loved his dwarven kith, truly he did. He had it instilled at a young age that everything he did was to be for others. For his brother, for his uncle, for all dwarves, because some day he would be king.

“My Lord Fili.” A dwarf came up, his smile charming and enjoyable. “Welcome to Ered Nimrais. All within the White Mountains welcome you.”

His hands shook as he held the reigns of his pony, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He forced a smile on his face and pushed back his hood. “Thank you.”

“Where is he?!”

Fili felt his eye twitch at the sudden shout, his heart hammering as he silently begged it not to be his future wife. He watched as the crowd was shoved at making way for the shouting lass who burst through the crowd with a mean scowl on her face. “Where is he?!”

“Ah, my lovely Sigrun. Your husband to be is right here. My Lord Fili, may I introduce my daughter, Sigrun, the finest dwarven lass the White Mountains has to offer.” The darked haired dwarf held out a proud hand to the obnoxiously loud creature.

Fili had to bite his tongue as he watched her vicious scowl twist up into a well practiced smile. She batted her lashes so many times that it made him wonder if there was something in her eye as she curtsied as if posing for a painting.

“My Lord.” She said with a trill in her voice trying to sound as sweet as honey.

He already knew… he hated her.

His stomach twisted into a tight knot knowing he would have to bring her to his bed chamber after courting. He could not fight it though, the was for the good of their people.

“My Lady.” He said as smoothly as he could, dismounting. He gave a formal bow. “The road has been long and I do beg your pardon, but I must take leave of you today. I delight in our formal meeting tomorrow.”

She batted her lashes again, that sickeningly sweet smile tilting as she bowed again. “Of course. I hope to see you well and rested.”

“Please, come with me.” Sigrun’s father said as he held out a hand to the side. 

Fili walked with him, Sigrun quickly rushing up and grabbing at Fili’s arm. He tried to pull it away, finding it completely improper for her to hold onto his arm when they were not even formally courting as of yet. She dug her fingers into his arm and he felt his lip curling in a snarl that he covered up with a strained smile. He listened to the man talk about their local markets, how they had many things from the men of Rohan to the north and Gondor to the south, though they try to stay clear of Gondor as there was still fighting in the white city. He was told of good and proper places to eat when out on a stroll with Sigrun and her favorite foods, which she would quip that Fili best remember them or she would be upset with him.

Finally they got to a strange housing project of a mixture of tall roofs and square walls, they were built one on top of the other, clustered together to look like something a wizard would live in. It opened up into a large courtyard with one big tree in the middle that was growing pairs. Around the trunk were benches carved out of stone settled on a cobbled walkway. It was a strange place.

“Your room will be there.” Sigrun’s father pointed to a balcony.

“Unfortunate that my room is over there.” Sigrun pointed to one that was in the middle of the building and off to the left. “I so would have enjoyed to see you in the morning, waving to me and blowing me kisses.”

Fili didn’t reply he simply took her fingers and managed to pry them off of his arm. He switched the subject seeing his way out. “It was lovely meeting you, Sigrun. I do look forward to tomorrow but as you know the journey had been long and I simply must rest so I may be presentable.” She looked put out by this so he quickly added. “I simply wish to look my best to be beside you.”

This seemed to appease her and she fluttered her eyelashes again. “Well, I do suppose we both must look our best. Do rest well.”

“I shall ever try to endeavour.” He gave a bow and tried hard not to run into the building. 

He was shown to his room where he found his luggage had already arrived. It was a large room, a king sized four poster bed, wardrobe and dresser on one side of the room, the other was made up with seats and a table next to a cold fire place. It was possible as big as the hut he had grown up in.

It made him feel all the more helpless.

He locked his door, came over to one of the chairs and sank down into the seat. He leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He felt his eyes heat from unshed tears. All he wanted right now was Kili. Have his brother smile at him and tell him everything was going to be okay. Kili with his way of poking at Fili’s side until he got his attention, silly antics to make him laugh. But Thorin had locked Kili away so that his brother did not follow.

And it was here, slumped like a broken doll, staring into nothing that he thought to himself that for once, he wished he had given a little less towards the well being of his people, and was selfish and told Thorin, “no.”


	2. Royalty With No Rights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm worried that these two characters may be too mary sue but I didn't want to introduce them in a way of "love at first sight" or "bad ass fight" or "they've known each other for years now." I didn't want it to be typical and rather a chance meeting, something normal.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts on them.

Kili had been like a wild animal. The night before Fili left Thorin had to restrain him, order the healers to sedate the prince for as long as three days. He had thrashed against the healers making guards come in and pin him down as bitter tasting liquids were shoved down his throat and he was forced to drink or suffocate. All the while he snapped and snarled. He managed to break a guard’s arm and punch a healer in the face. Shouting obscenities towards his uncle, who did not have the courage to even be present to witness his dirty deeds. Kili had kicked another healer in the leg, snapping back the knee, the dwarf had been immediately removed screaming as the drugs started to take affect.

They kept him sedated, sleep fogging his mind as all he could dream of was his brother becoming the shell of the man he once was. False smiles, false words of happiness as he slow hollowed out of anything that was once identifiable as Fili. That hole being filled in with spite and malice, causing the blond to choke on poison and waste away with a crumbling crown upon his head.

When he was allowed to wake, the drugs making his limbs numb and hard to move, he stumbled out of bed. The floor came rushing up to him, his head smacking against the stone. He groaned but pulled himself up to his hands and knees. He shook his head causing the world to swim and split into two. Hand grabbed him and pulled him up. There was a scraping sound and he was seated in a chair.

“Easy.”

That voice. He knew that voice. Even without his eyes willing to focus he reached out and grabbed a fistful of purple clothing.

“D..mmmhmm, Dori.” He tried to breath through his nose as his stomach churned. He was going to throw up.

His lips made the motion and Dori managed to move out of the way as Kili vomited onto himself. He doubled over and threw up several more times as if he had drank too much ale. His back was soothed as Dori’s voice swam in and out.

“Careful now…. ...too much…. ne…. est….” 

He was barely aware that he was being moved or undressed. He did jerk when a cold, damp cloth came up to his chest and mouth, cleaning him up. He was soon tucked back into bed. It wasn’t for another day that he would wake, feeling the daze of the drugs starting to wear off.

Dori was with him once more, accompanied by Oin and Balin. The three elder dwarves were talking amongst themselves, voices hushed but troubled.

“He will want to know where Fili is.” Dori said. “If it was one of my brothers out there, I would want to know if they were safe.”

“I would too.” Oin held his trumpet up trying hard to hear the others. “But we can’t because Thorin did not disclose it to any of us. He knows Kili will follow after Fili. For all of Mahal’s blessings I cannot think of why Thorin would do this.”

Balin sighed. “It is the way of royalty I am afraid. Most may think they have all the freedoms of the world but they are, in truth, slaves to their people. Ridiculed for every movement that is deemed not good enough, watched by all eyes and scrutinized for any crack in their perfect masks for them to tear at. It is unfortunate but commoners will forget that royalty and nobles are dwarves too. And Thorin is only doing what he knows the people want him to do; continue the line of Durin the proper way. To show Erebor is strong despite all that has happened.”

“They could do that without sending Fili away and making him miserable and torturing Kili like this. They drugged him so badly he was throwing up most the night and was suffering with shakes and cold sweats.” Dori huffed.

Balin looked sad as he looked over into Kili’s direction. “They have little choice in the matter.”

He came over seeing brown eyes looking up at him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, folding his hands into his lap. “How are you doing, laddie?”

Kili didn’t answer. His heart was clenching at the idea that his brother was out of his reach. Thorin had made sure that Kili would not find out where his brother was, made sure he stayed.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Dori asked softly.

Kili curled in on himself a little. “Yeah.” He breathed.

“How… how long have I been out?”

“Four days, at the least.”

Four… it wasn’t ideal but it was still not to long of a shot. He started to get up. “Dori, pack me some rations.”

“And where do you think you’re going?” The elderly dwarf snapped.

“I heard you, no one knows where Fili is, but we can still find people who witnessed where he had gone. If nothing else, I should be able to track his caravan.”

“And then what?”

“Stop this whole damn thing! I’m not going to let Fili be damned to a hell on this good earth after everything we’ve gone through.”

“And how do you intend to do that?” Balin asked. “Thorin is king, he will have the final say in this.”

“I can take him to the Blue Mountains, have him stay with Mama-”

“She would only agree to this arrangement… Kili, there is no way of getting around this. I am sorry.”

“No, no! There has to be some way. I will not just lay down and allow this to happen!”

“Then figure out a way here. Rushing after your brother is not going to do either of you any good unless you had a sound plan.” Balin placed a hand on Kili’s shoulder.

“Aye, Balin has a point.” Oin said. “Plus you are still recovering. You will need to remain within reach of medical assistance for at least three more days, until the drugs have run their course.”

“Fuck!” Kili screamed, turning and punching his pillow. “Fuck it all to hell!!”

\-------------------------------

It was a few months afterwards that Kili found himself in the archives with Ori. He had resigned himself to pouring himself over the books about laws and dealings with trade routes. Every time he tried to leave someone stopped him one way or another and his only option left was to find a political loophole that he could exploit and so far he was getting no where.

He was hunched over a book, flipping the page when Thorin had come to him. He ignored his uncle, as he had since his recovery. The dwarf that had raised him looked like a foreigner to him. The kind uncle that smiled and hugged him when he was young would never do any of these terrible things. So he resigned himself to believing that Thorin was sick and until he got better he would not associate with him.

“Kili.” Thorin’s voice was soft, almost timid as if he was approaching a wild animal.

The prince ignored him.

“I thought you would like to know that I have received word. Fili has arrived is well.”

Kili stiffened, slightly turning his head showing he was at least listening. Thorin waited, hoping that Kili would speak to him but the brunet only turned back to his book. The king sighed and moved away. He did not like doing what he had to, but it was necessary. Fili needed to marry, Kili would interfere with the well being of the kingdom. He only hoped that some day the young prince could understand that their people always came first. A king, was nothing without a kingdom.

\-----------------------------------------

Three days, three days of this madness and he already was certain he would strangle Sigrun upon their claiming night! She was a despicable woman, a painted up viper that was spoiled rotten by her father. Whenever she was out with Fili she made a point to flaunt the catch she had as if Fili was some sort of prized buck. He was a trophy for her to use to make herself look even better and she made sure he knew it. Already she had burst into tears at nearly every meal because he had not remembered to order everything to her desires, her sniffling voice accusing him of doing it on purpose. Today he finally had enough and ditched her when she was distracted in the markets.

There had to be some way that he could get out of this arrangement. She was driving him up the wall and he wished he was back in the Blue Mountains where he could have the freedom of telling her to back the fuck off. And if she persisted then he could give her a swift kick in the arse because the Blue Mountains were all about equality. The women were tough there, they knew how to work hard and survive. They could fall down a damn mine shaft and come out laughing covered in soot. A dwarf hit a lady she would just punch him right back. They were rough and tumble and… and…

He tilted his head seeing a bob of hair through the crowd. The braids wound and pinned with brass clips and beads, hair spilling down shoulders as the lady dwarf flicked her hair back from where it had slipped around her neck. That was a Blue Mountain style. She was talking to another dwarven lass that had a hair style he was unfamiliar with. 

He pushed through the crowd, his mind focused on the only thing familiar in this terrible place. He nearly rammed into the woman, the only thing that prevented it was her friend grabbing her and pulling her back before he stumbled out of the crowd to the vender they were by. His eyes saw the few coppers in her palm before she quickly snatched her hand closed. Two eyes were on him now, one a deep brown, almost black, the other a hazel color that was almost the color of whiskey.

He smiled at the lass with hair styled in a familiar way, her hair black and naturally frizzy now that he saw it up close. He remembered several families like that, part of the miners to the south.

“May we help you?” The other one asked, making him look at her. She had hair the color between Kili’s and Thorin’s, pale skin though her faces was sun kissed with some redness from travel. She had a round face as the other had an oval and had slightly tanned skin.

“I-I’m sorry. I-” Oh gods he was stumbling over his words. He was just so excited to see someone that reminded him of home. His carefully crafted, princely way of talking fell immediately. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like an idiot or a stranger you need to be weary of, but I couldn’t help but notice your hair. Ered Luin, style. I’ve been here for a few days and found myself out of sorts and it’s just nice to see someone from back home.”

The black haired lass looked at Fili confused, stepping back before her friend held her steady and whispered something next to her ear. She looked to her friend before her face split into a smile as she grabbed his hand. She shook it hard, hands calloused from hard work. Then with great effort she spoke in broken common.

“I is… the extent of… happy to meet you.”

“I’m Fili.” He said cheerfully, pressing his free hand to his chest. “And you are?” He spoke slowly so she would get the words as he gestured to her. It wasn’t uncommon for mixed languages and dialects in the mining settlements of Ered Luin and this only made him happier.

“Khelging!” She then turned quickly and swatted her friend right in the breast hard enough to cause the other to pull away hands on her boob while she hissed in pain. “Clarin!” Once she saw what she had done she pulled from Fili saying something that the prince gathered were apologies.

Clarin waved her off as she rubbed at the painful spot. 

Fili tried not to laugh, but he did crack a smile. What a way to meet someone- getting punched in the breast. Khelging tried to rub at the sore spot too only to have Clarin bat her hands away, face flaring red. She barked something in Khelging’s language before bumping her away with a round hip, arms folding over her breasts and she glared at her friend. They were quite the spectacle, but their silly antics made a tension in his back relax.

“Clarin, was it?” Fili interrupted them, now smiling genuinely.

She looked at him, face turning more red with embarrassment, obviously had forgotten they were. He nodded and looked away. “Y-yeah. I would shake your hand but I have to keep myself protected around this one.”

“I understand, I have younger brother that does not know what personal space is either.”

“We’re not related.” Clarin then said something to Khelging who nodded and went over to a food vendor. “To be honest having someone recognize her hairstyle is a bit of a relief. This place is full of arrogant nobles that strut around like a cock in the hen house all because they’re sitting on the Glittering Caves.”

Fili’s smile wavered a little at that, hearing the disdain towards nobles. He would keep his royal lineage as a secret then. No use is scaring off the only people willing to talk to him like he’s actually a living being and not Sigrun’s arm candy.

“What language does she speak, Khelging, that is?”

Clarin scratched at her sideburns, keen eyes watching the onyx haired dwarf. “No idea. I never cared to ask. She’s understanding common more though.”

Fili looked at her curiously. “You have no idea what language she speaks, yet you speak it, and you are not related… How did you meet?”

“Her family died when she was only fourty, found her huddled out in the barn and I pulled her in. Mom and Dad didn’t know what to do with her besides give her clothes and fill her belly. I was the only one that cared to learn.”

Mom and Dad… that dialect… Northern… “Are you from Ered Mithrin?”

Clarin smiled. “My name give it away didn’t it? That’s what I get for being named after a sweet cream. And you are a very curious individual, Fili.” Her eyes darted to him for just a moment.

“Excited to have someone not treat me like a normal dwarf for once…”

Khelging came back with a few meat skewers. She pressed one into Fili’s hand and then handed one over to Clarin who ate hers a little slower than Khelging but the two still made Fili jerk in surprise at how quickly they stuffed it down their gullets. He couldn’t help but notice it was a habit of someone who was used to being on the move. No time to sit and rest, he had developed it as well when they were on their quest. Eating quickly only so that he could get as much sleep as possible before getting up before dawn and packing bags and saddles. He smiled down at the glazed meats.

This was nice, though he could do with Kili beside him, charming the girls with his bad pickup lines and infectious smile. In fact, he just wanted to have Kili with him.


	3. Brother Where Arte Thou

“I ca-cannot believe you did this to me again.” Sigrun dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Well practiced tears welling up in her eyes. “Y-you had ordered blueberries when you know I prefer apples. Honestly, it worries me that you may not want me and my kindness. And the kingdom, oh!” She swallowed and fanned herself with her hand as if she was faint, and suffering from heart ache. “Our poor people.”

“Forgive my oversight. I do not know where my mind has gotten to when I placed the order.” Fili got up from his seat. “I will go to the kitchens myself and right this for you, Sigrun.”

She batted her lashes at him and put on that disgusting smile once more. “Thank you, Fili.”

He swiftly turned on his heel, trying hard not to visibly blanch. Was it a terrible thing that he now wanted to be known by another name? The way she said his, it… it wasn’t natural. It made him feel dirty and less than a dog.

It had been another week in this hell hole, each day was now spent with most of it taken up by Sigrun. She had developed from him being a trophy to now completely accepting the fact she was going to be queen. That she would have a say in his council. She was certain she was going to be a gracious and generous ruler. It boiled his blood to the point that he had to hide his hands under the table at every meal to hide his white knuckled fists. She had no right to be in a position of power.

She needed to be knocked down more than just a few pegs, she needed to be tossed off of her high horse and trampled on. He was raised as a poor boy, a poor family, barely scraping by and things only got a little better after Thorin came to help after his father’s death. But even then Thorin and taught him how to work hard and earn a good life. She was given it. Spoon fed the damn glories of life while others suffered and she cared nothing for them!

He pushed himself into the back where the kitchen was at the posh restaurant. He didn’t bother to fix the order, he asked where the back door was and left. Sigrun could fucking pay the bill herself and wait for hours until she realized she was ditched. And unlike in the market place, where he said he had simply gotten separated from her, lost in the crowd, he would not deny leaving her ass.

He stormed out of the building, walking in long strides as he went back to his room. He grabbed up his swords. He grabbed some parchment, scribbling down in big and bold letters “I HATE THIS!!” He rolled it up and headed back out. He needed to work out some aggressions, burt first, he found a travelling messenger and paid him to take his letter to Erebor, under strict instructions to only give the letter to someone named Ori.

\--------------------------------------------------

Kili was pouring himself over maps, hastily tracing them before marking out calculations and possibilities. Thorin had said that he had received word of Fili’s journey. Which meant that four months had passed was distance of travel as well as the factor of time for the message to come back to them. If he could do anything with this then he could take in the possibilities as to where Thorin had sent Fili, then he could go and find his brother.

So far the possibilities were Dorwinion by the Sea of Rhûn, the utmost top of the Grey Mountains, Moria, and the Glittering Caves and countless settlements in between. Moria would not be it, he could mark it off. It was still too dangerous, no one in their right mind would want to go there, let alone open a trade route. The Grey Mountains were a good possibility. They had stopped mining after Smaug came, instead settling in to become farmers. Large amount of crops and livestock to be had. Leathers, tobacco, and hearty meats and grains, it was a good possibility and with how bumpy the terrain could be, it would take four months to just get through all the different passes with a caravan. Dorwinion… he didn’t know much about that area besides that they brewed most ales, meads, and wines. It was dry and sunny there, possibly good for other things beyond vineyards… wheat and cheese did come from there on occasion. Then there were the Glittering Caves in the White Mountains. They had many gems, jewels, golds and other precious metals that came from there. But trade was doing well with them.

He bit at the leather of his glove as he mulled over the different options. What would be most valuable to them? What would help Erebor the most?

He circled the Grey Mountains. They would be the biggest gain, then there was Dorwinion. So he circled that as well. 

He crossed an ‘x’ over Moria. He tapped his quill on the White Mountains. Thorin was no longer suffering from gold sickness… so… He crossed an ‘x’ over the White Mountains.

He had two places he could look. Two really good possibilities.

He would pack supplies in secret. It would take him some time to gather everything together and sneak out from under Thorin’s nose, but he could do it.

Kili’s fingers touched the map. He whispered in the secrecy of the archives, “I’ll find you, Fili.”

\------------------------------------------------

It was dusk. Fili had found a quiet field where he had practiced his sword strokes until the sun had set. He laid in the tall grass, folding his hands behind his head as he waited for the stars to follow the blazing orange and golds in the sky in their blanket of blue and purple.

A small weight suddenly hit his stomach. He grabbed the object and sat up.

A pear?

“Fili!”

He looked to the side seeing that girl from the market, the one from the Blue Mountains. She had another pear in hand while she waved at him. He gave a half hearted wave back. He was less than enthusiastic, to be honest he had no desire to socialize for possibly the rest of his life, not until he was reunited with his brother.

“Fili, wants to meet an amazing place?” She trotted up to him acting as if it had not been a week since they had seen each other. Apparently, she attached quickly.

“I… I really don’t feel like going anywhere right now.” He admitted. He held up the pear. “Thank you, for the pear.”

“Get two pear, extent.”

His lip twitched upward. He had no idea what she was saying but the way she said it reminded him of when Kili was a babe trying to babble out words. It was… kind of cute, like watching a puppy trip down a hill.

“So, what are you doing here?” He mused out loud.

She looked at him confused for a moment before pointing down the field. “Wait to meet amazing.”

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re saying.”

Khelging reached down and grabbed Fili’s coat, at the shoulder and started to pull him up to his feet. Apparently he had no choice in this matter.

“Clarin not see, you see!”

“I guess you’re just excited to show someone something. Very well.” He huffed a sigh, grabbing his swords and tying them into their scabbard before slinging the belt around his shoulder around followed the strange dwarf lass.

She ran ahead, waved at him, ran on, waved him on, until he understood that he was supposed to run with her. He rolled his eyes as he picked up his feet and ran forward. As he chased after her form he allowed himself to imagine he was running after his brother. That they were back at home, the long fields that skirted the deep forests of the Blue Mountains. Kili looking over his shoulder and shouting that Fili was too slow. That he was getting fat and his stomach would grow round and heavy from too many sweets.

Fili slowed down, he could really see it. Kili. In front of him.

“Don’t worry.” Kili said. “I’m not going to give up. Neither should you.”

He was jerked out of the illusion from calloused fingers wrapping around his palm and he was tugged down to a slope that opened up to the mouth of a cave. He deftly followed Khelging into the opening, she pushed on his chest and shoulder moving him to side so the light of the fading sun could come inside. The orange and golden light bounced off of thousands of tiny reflective jewels still imbedded into the dark earth. 

The cave looked as if it was on fire in the middle of the day.

“Fili, meet an amazing place.” Khelging said proudly holding out her hand. 

Fili pressed his lips together as he felt himself quiver. It was an amazing place. It was beautiful, but such beauty in a place he hated so much… it was a stabbing of bitter sweetness. Bitter because it reminded of Sigrun, of how his life had turned to putrid rot in such a short amount of time. Sweetness, because Khelging was clinging onto him as much as his mind clung to the memory of his brother. For the familiarity, for a desire to go home and get away from a place that one could never settle in. One had to find camaraderie where one could when hunted into a corner.

He rubbed at his eyes, feeling the heat of tears.

He wanted to go home, more than ever now.


	4. Reaching Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to tell everyone who has been reading this; thank you!
> 
> Seriously, Thank you. I'm terrible at original characters, I never know what is too much and what is too little. And all the lovely comments, I really appreciate and the kudos. 
> 
> Please do keep them coming!

Fili avoided Sigrun now. After she showed her true colors. When she found out that Fili had ditched her and he refused to apologize for it her tears dried up and she started to scream. She screamed and screamed until her face was purple as she ran around the common room snatching up priceless objects to throw at him. A few hit his chest and shoulders but he managed to dodge out of the way of other, heavier objects or things lobbed at his head. Her father had to come in and put a stop to it where she only whined like the spoiled shit she was and started to cry and say it was all Fili’s fault. Which had Sigrun’s father yelling at him, lecturing that it was not suitable for a husband to treat his dearest wife in such a manner. In which Fili tried to say that they were not married and that he would sooner stab her than touch her hand once more, but he was interrupted and sent away.

He spent more time in the empty field now, the scorching heat of the summer sun beating down on his shoulders as he practiced his sword swings. He was a warrior, one of the 14 saviors of Erebor and he was being treated like a whipping boy for that spoiled bitch! 

There had to be a way around this. If he did not find some way then he would be forced to drink a draught that would make his body react to any sexual touch. And he would be forced to drink it every day until either she swelled with child or two years had come and gone. He would rather break every bone in his body before letting that happen. It was within this light of desperation that he found himself writing a letter; to his mother.

**Mum… I know you and Da had an arranged marriage, and that the same was to happen to Kili and I. I do wish that we had been better schooled upon our rites when regarding such a situation.**

**Mum. I cannot be with Sigrun. The White Mountains are a great asset with the stone they offer to Erebor in rebuilding our once lost kingdom, but she is of a terrible sort. I had faced the fact I would not love her, but I had hoped I could have at least become her friend so the Claiming would not have felt like a sin… but I cannot.**

**She is cruel, selfish, and treats me lower than the crap a stable boy must shovel. All this, she does fully knowing I am a prince.**

**If she treats royalty in such a terrible manner… then I must fear for our people. What can I do?**

A shadow fell over his shoulder from where he sat in the field. He looked up praying that it was not Sigrun. He let out a long sigh of relief seeing Khelging.

“You come to amazing place, lot.” She said, sitting next to him.

He shrugged and continued to write, asking for his mother’s help. It was his last line of defence.

“Hot.” She sighed falling back into the tall grass.

“Where’s the other… um…” He lifted his quil and dipped it in the pot of ink that sat between his feet. As he tried to remember the other’s name. “Clarin.”

“Clarin not move.” Khelging sighed before sitting up, needing to move. 

Fili looked to the black haired woman, a frown pulling at his lips, his brow creasing. Not move? “What do you mean?”

“She not move.” Khelging tried to find the right words to use. “She work hard and not move.”

“So she is at work?” He tilted his head not sure exactly what was being said.

“No.” The lass shifted and rubbed at her eyes with exaggerated movements before doing a yawn and stretch.

“Oooh, she’s asleep.” Fili went back to his writing. “The word is ‘asleep’, Khelging.”

“Asleep…” She repeated.

“What does she do for work?” He asked, half heartedly listening. He was busy with asking for help but he was also desperate for a conversation that wasn’t one sided, all about boasting about how fucking perfect the individual was, no matter how broke the sentences were.

“Fight.”

He blinked a few times and looked up from his letter. “Fight? She’s a guard?”

“No. Fight for work.”

So she did daily jobs, getting what she could to scrape together some money. He could relate to that. When he was only sixty he had that privilege, the meager earnings barely enough to feed Kili when Dis was on the road trying to sell her silver crafts. He put down his quill and capped his ink. He leaned forward reading over his letter as his mind remembered the days when they wouldn’t eat because he had to pay other expenses just so they could keep the hut and not be pushed off of the land, or rent tools for the next day of work. He used to make a game for Kili, show him plants that were edible and have his brother go out to look for as many as he could, gather them up and bring them home before he was released from work. If Kili got a good amount then he would reward him with weapon’s practice or a run to the river to teach him how to swim.

A hand came to his head, stroking over his hair making him jump a little, before he realized it was just Khelging. He looked at her uncertain but she only moved her hand to his shoulder and gave a timid pat. The physical touch affirmed to him that she did attach quickly.

“Fili, is disappoint.”

“I’m not-” He closed his mouth in his confusion. She didn’t mean disappointment, she meant sad. “It would be easier to talk to you in your own language wouldn’t it?”

She tilted her head and reached up to his head and stroked his hair once more. “No disappoint. Clarin says, ‘all will be well’. All be well with Fili.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, allowing himself to take refuge in the small light touches. He had not had any positive contact since he had left Erebor where he had hugged his brother in such a tight embrace between them that he was certain both had bruised ribs afterwards. They had been so scared, and he had said that everything would work out. That he would be back before Kili would notice he was gone. Now, now he knew he had a reason to be scared.

With Khelging stroking his hair, the sun didn’t seem as harsh. The situation did not seem as bad and gave him a tiny bit of hope that his mother would know what he could do to get out of this damn arrangement.

“Khelging!” 

The voice was distant from where it had called. Fili opened his eyes, not having realized he had folded his arms over his knees and had rested his in his arms. Khelging’s hand pulled away and he felt an ache to want to have it return, to continue to reassure him that the earth was not falling out from under his feet.

The voice called again, closer, before Khelging got up and waved. “Clarin!”

“There you are.” Clarin waded through the tall grass, coming up to them. Her hair up in three large braids that were twisted in the middle and pinned creating three buns that looked like roses that fell in a row down the back of her head. “You need to tell me where you’re going.”

“Went to friend.” Khelging smiled before she said something rather complicated in her language.

Clarin looked down at Fili who was looking ahead, letting them have their moment. She said something back and ruffled up her braids.

“Hey… um… you… uh..Blondie.” Clarin said gaining his attention.

“My name’s Fili.” 

“Sorry.” She offered her hand to help him off of the ground. “I’m not good at names.”

“Or knowing where walls are it would seem.” Fili quipped as he looked at the blossomed bruises that littered her left cheek, and split lip. “What happened? When I saw you in the markets two weeks ago, those bruises were definitely not there.”

Her tongue darted out, licking at the split in her lip. “Nothing important. What’s important is that this little imp wants you to join us for a meal.” She tugged on one of Khelging’s braids causing the other to slap at her.

Fili looked down to his swords and ink pot. He hadn’t eaten in a while, only having dinner in his room late at night so that he could skirt by Sigrun. He left before dawn just to come into the field so she had no chance of following him. 

He was hungry…

He was nudged in the shoulder. “It wasn’t a request. You get two options, we go to a tavern that serves the best donkey pissing swill around or we grab some things from the market and make camp here. Either way, you’re eating with us.”

Fili’s lips pulled into a small smile as a choked laugh left his mouth. “How can I say no to ‘donkey pissing swill’?”

These two... He didn’t know anything about them. Where they stayed, how to find them, he barely remembered their names. But he liked them. So far, they were the only decent dwarves around.

He dipped down, pocketing his bottle of ink and slinging his sheathed swords over his shoulder. He gripped his letter, tightly. “I need to make a stop before you take me to this high end eatery.”

Clarin smiled, cheeks round and eyes bright. It reminded him of Kili when he would tell his brother that they would be having a treat at the tavern. His arm tingled with the need to reach up and ruffle the dark hair, so used to doing that with his brother. Instead he hooked his thumbs in his belt. Being around these new friends… it made him miss Kili even more.


	5. Bottom of the Barrel

Fili had possibly drank too much than he should have, maybe. He was aware of the room spinning, not being able to focus his eyes as he hunched over his tankard. A month. A whole wretched month had passed since the last time he had seen his two friends. He thumped an elbow down on the table top and scrubbed at his face. He had clung onto that day when the girls had taken him out to eat. They made him laugh and remember the dwarves he once was so close too. Clarin was an interesting mixture between Ori, Bofur, and Kili. Caring, bright smiles, love for singing even if her voice was a bit off key at times and loved to tell stories, but she was also rough and tumble. When a bar fight had broken out she had done what his brother always had back in Ered Luin, get between their group and the fight. She knocked chests with a few of them which got Fili up to his feet and to her side, he was a gentlemen after all. Dwarven women were tough but it was still unsuiting for him to just sit and let her fight alone. After a bloodied nose and some punches they sat back down satisfied while Khelging laughed. 

Khelging reminded him oddly of his own mother and possibly a bit of Bombur and Bifur. She loved food, spoke gibberish even though she was intelligent, and she had a motherly side to her. Through out the night she had picked up on his subtle tells that said that he was either relaxed or getting depressed. She would pat his hand, tell him in her broken common that everything was going to be okay. And when she said it, he couldn’t help but start to slowly believe her.

That night they had stayed at that terrible tavern until they were either forced to rent a room or leave. The three of them left, talking as they went down the streets, Clarin translating most of what Khelging wanted to say as she started to get a little tipsy from all the mead they drank in the evening. They went back to the field where they could be away from the burning lanterns and looked up at the stars. Bright and brilliant. There he heard such a beautiful story as he drifted off, laying in the grass. It painted the image of Mahal, his hammer working on the Great Anvil. His skin tanned from the heats of the forge, his image that of Durin the Deathless, the dwarven child he cared for the most, his first babe to make. He was working on him, with such care, the sparks from his hammer flew into the air, burning small holes in the sky where they still remain, creating our stars. Tiny pinpricks of light allowing Mahal to gaze down upon his children.

When he woke at dawn he found Khelging and Clarin still asleep. Khelging had her mouth open, drooling on Clarin where she laid curled up on her like a kitten. Clarin had been choking on a mouthful of her own hair, head pillowed on her arm. 

After that, he had not seen either of them. It was the first time he felt even remotely comfortable since this had all started, and to have it ripped away left him feeling worse than before. I tried writing to Kili, hoping that if he gave the letters to Ori they would be passed along and not have Thorin sniff them out. He had written about how he had hoped he found friends, about how terrible his future wife was, even admitted to writing their mother.

Day after day, he wrote, he stayed in the field. He refused Sigrun, refused her father’s summons. If he was pushed any farther he would take the things on his back, a pouch of money to buy supplies and leave… but that wouldn’t solve anything. He needed to fix this problem before it got worse and it was steadily getting worse for him. The last week he had not slept in his room, Sigrun and her father pounding at his door at all hours until he finally snuck out of the window and into the pear tree his balcony touched.

Now he was drunk in some pub in the most rough end of the town. He wanted to get lost, forget what had been happening and all he could do was thinking about how he missed two girls that were barely his friends and how his heart clenched and cried to be home. To hear his brother’s voice and ruffle up his loose hair while he laughed in moments that reminded them that they were still young. Hell, he wasn’t even one hundred yet.

Was he?

He rubbed at his face again as his pint fell over spilling the rest of his mead. Yeah, he was 98, that’s right… That would make Kili, 90… 93 or something.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, stroking down to grip under his arm. He opened his eyes, seeing his brother. His heart froze. The dark hair and dark eyes, messy and draping over his shoulders as his lips moved, saying something. Fili shot to his feet, knocking over his chair, rattling the table. He stumbled backwards but the sturdy grip on his arm kept him from toppling over.

“Kili!” He launched himself forward, colliding into his brother’s body. His arms wrapped around warm shoulders. His breathing came in and out heavily before he pulled back, his swimming vision trying hard to focus.

Fili gripped his brother’s face with both hands. In his excitement he yanked his brother forward pressing their lips together before pulling back and laughing. “I have missed you so much. H-have you come to get me? Has uncle put a stop to this? When do we go home?”

The dwarf had been startled from the kiss, but regained his composure. He grabbed Fili’s arm and slung it over his shoulder letting the blond lean fully on him. “You are very drunk.”

“I-I…” Fili barely was aware of his feet shuffling over the wooden planks of the floor. “I’m not very drunk.”

Kili snorted. “You’re very, very drunk. You can’t even walk, nor see straight.”

“I… I can see fine enough to ride a pony.” The cold air of the night hit his face as they left. He stumbled forward, grabbing at Kili’s shirt. The sudden movement made him slump against the other who grabbed him by his waist to keep him from completely collapsing. He pushed his face up against Kili’s, foreheads touching. “Let us go brother. Leave tonight. I can’t… I can’t spend one more night in this place.”

“If we left I would have to tie you to a pony.” Kili adjusted Fili, dragging him along. “It is best to wait for the drink to leave you.”

“No.” Fili shook his head, making him fall completely, dragging Kili down with him. He clutched onto his brother. “No, we must leave tonight.”

“Fili.”

The blond held tighter. “No! You do not understand! I will not bed her!! I-I can’t do this, Kili.” Tears started to slip free, his face pressing into earthy smelling hair. He stayed on the ground, not even a full building away from the pub, crying like a babe. “I hate her!! The only fantasies I have of that cow is to slaughter her!” His voice broke in a tiny plea, “Please… I can’t marry her.”

“Shh, shh.” His back and head was stroked. Kili sighed softly before placing a kiss to the crown of Fili’s head, causing the blond to snuggle his face into a soft chest. “All will be well.”

Fili looked up, eyes barely open. “We can go tonight?”

Before Kili could say anything, Fili felt his stomach churn, the tingling burn in the back of his throat, he bent over and threw up onto his brother’s stomach.

“Fili!”

“S-sorry.” Fili moved away and threw up again.

He continued to empty his stomach on the ground. Kili got up and pulled off his outer shirt. He used a clean corner to wipe at Fili’s mouth as the blond shivered, his stomach cramping as he spat on the ground, kneeling in his own sick.

“Come, let’s get you to your bed, Fili.” Arms wrapped around his chest from behind and he was hefted up with a great deal of effort onto his feet. 

“‘m sorry, Kili.”

“It’s only a shirt, soap and water will take care of it.” Kili grabbed him by his arm, slinging it once more over his shoulder, then grabbed his belt and coaxed him to walk. “Where are you staying?”

Fili pointed in a direction. “F-field.”

“You’re sleeping in-” Kili sighed. “Very well.”

Fili grabbed onto a strap that was on Kili’s undershirt, pressing his face into dark hair. He stayed like that, lost in the security of having his brother once more. They traveled through the town until their feet left hard dirt and cobble stones to soft lumps of tall grass. He pulled to a stop.

“Have to piss.” He said with a mouth that felt numb. He didn’t make a move to untie his trousers.

“Shit, Fili you’re going to wet yourself if-! Fine, but you owe me.” Kili adjusted Fili, stepping behind him letting the blond lean back against him to keep standing. His hands slipped over the front, pulling open his coat and tunic. Fingers fumbled and worked on the ties, there was a hesitation before fingers wrapped around his cock and held onto it. “Will this do?”

Fili groaned as he nodded, letting his body relax enough for him to pee. He swayed as his brother tried to keep him up as well as keep a hold of Fili’s manhood. When he was finished he was clumsily tucked back in and his trousers laced.

“Ssso sorry, Kili.” Fili slumped more against the brunet who grunted and put more effort holding him up.

“Stop apologizing, rather help you pee than have you wet your trousers.” Kili pulled Fili along until the prince’s bedroll was found, his swords sat beside a bag stuffed half full with clothing next to a circle of stone that was made into a fire pit. A pile of wood next to that, waiting to be used.

Kili laid Fili down, moving the bag of clothing under his head for a pillow. He searched around and found some flint and steel, gathering up some tall dry grass and wood he set about make a small fire, only big enough to offer some warmth to the sleepy blond. As he made sure the wood caught fire, Fili grabbed the sack under his head and pulled at it.

“Kili.”

The brunet didn’t respond. Looking into the flames.

“Kili.” He said again until the other looked up to him. He patted a hand on the bag. “Change out of the dirty clothes. You can use mine.”

“Are you sure?”

Fili nodded, rolling onto his back. He stared up at the sky, the stars spinning yet still looking so beautiful. “Mmm, you know… you-you know that elves think the stars are memories.” He said as he felt his brother move next to him, finding clothing to wear.

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, you should know, you were told it.” He hummed as he reached up a hand as if he could touch the stars. “But I heard something better, brother.”

He was suddenly pulled at, moved around as the layers of clothing was removed from him. He ignored it, not bothered as his trousers were ripped off only to have new ones wiggled onto him. When hands came up to his waist, tugging at ties, he looked down his body to his brother. Watching him tie off the trousers before grabbing a tunic and pulling Fili up enough to wrestle the clean garment on. Once it was on he grabbed onto his brother, holding him tight and fell back down onto his bed roll. He didn’t say any more, only held onto Kili and fell asleep.

\--------------------------------------

**I hate this!!**

He turned to another letter. His eyes growing darker with anger as he took in the strokes of his brother’s writing. It was jarred, stressed. He knew his brother’s writing, he still had letters from when he had to work in Bree when he was 60 and Kili had to stay home with their mother. His handwriting was gentle and soft, just like his kind heart, but this… this was someone who was on the edge of losing who they were and what he wrote, that was no help.

**I miss you so much. I miss Erebor. This place, there is no way it could ever become a home for me, no matter how long I must stay. Though, I have found some dwarves that take the edge off of this growing madness that twists in my heart. I hope they will remain in my life for the remainder of my stay here. They are good dwarves, though… sometimes hard to understand.**

The next letter.

**I wrote to mother. I have no other choice. Sigrun is a festering wound that infects anything she touches. Her mind is twisted and her soul black. Mahal did not create her.**

He flipped to the next.

**I had to leave my room. They dog my sleep now and I have not seen my friends. I’m in a field now, hiding like a criminal. ...Kili, I fear I may do something I will regret.**

Kili shook, his stomach making him feel sick. He put a hand over his mouth as so many possibilities flew through his mind. Fili was considering something drastic. That could mean anything from running away, to killing Sigrun… to even possibly harming himself. And when Fili considered something, it could easily develop into a plan of action and then executed.

He folded up the papers and stuffed them into his pocket. He had to find Fili. He didn’t have the luxury of sneaking around. He had to leave, that very day.

“Ori!” He barked barging into the archives where he found his map on a desk. He snatched it up, looking around the large room. “Ori!!”

“I’m here!” The sound of books and scrolls falling alerted the prince to where he was. He scrambled out from under the mess he had made, coming into sight. “I’m here.”

“The messenger. What did they look like?”

“A man with a fine beard, typical eastern braids, but his pony was from a southern breed.”

“So he came from the south?”

“Most likely.” Ori climbed down a spiral staircase. “Most messengers will run a pony available in stables of the local area, only to leave them to be transferred back later on while they run another message somewhere else.”

“When was the last message delivered?”

“Three days go.” Ori watched Kili turn on his heel and nearly run out of the archives. The redhead ran after him. “Are you going to go looking for him now?”

“I have to.”

“What about Thorin?”

“What about, Thorin?” The king’s voice cut both of them straight into their hearts causing them to stop. They looked to the side finding their proud king who had been walking down one of the halls.

“You.” Kili surged forward. He grabbed Fili’s letters from his pocket and smashed them into his uncle’s chest. “See what you have done to him! He’s life is miserable and rotten! He will not tell me where he is at but he has told me where his heart lies and that is in a dark hole, cold and alone!!”

“I do not expect him to love her or to be find it accommodating at first.” Thorin hissed, grabbing at his nephew’s coat. “This is for the better of the kingdom.”

“How is it for the better when the future ruler would rather kill someone or die before allowing this marriage?” Kili growled back.

“He would not-”

“He would! He is backed into a corner, desperate enough to write to our mother like a scared child!!” He shifted through the letters. Rage and desperation causing him to shake as he started to cry. “He writes on how Sigrun is selfish and abusive to his mind and stature. She trots him around like a prized pony and not the warrior he is.”

Thorin’s hands grabbed Kili’s wrists, stilling his frantic movements. His hold was gentle and kind causing the other to look into his eyes. There he saw that not even Thorin wanted this.

“Do something… you are king, you must do something.”

“We need the stone.” Thorin finally admitted. “Erebor’s halls have been too greatly damaged, we cannot let a third of the kingdome come back until her great halls have been repaired. This means a good deal of another mountain must be hollowed out and we do not have such rites to claim other mountains without a marriage.”

Thorin moved a hand to touch Kili’s face. “I had wished to spare him this fate. I have only wanted you and your brother to be happy.”

“But you’re killing him.” Kili pulled away from his uncle, letting Fili’s letters fall to the ground. “I… I cannot stand by and see him suffer. Please, if he is right, and this woman is as terrible as he says, cancel the marriage. Let us find another option. We have such wealth, certainly we can buy a mountain to widdle down.”

“We need strong stone, Kili. Not every mountain has this. You must understand.”

“Then let me be with him to ease his suffering!!” Kili shouted.

“You will only try to prevent the marriage.”

“He has already done that on his own! Please, I do not plead to you as the prince but as your nephew.” He grabbed Thorin’s arm, squeezing it as he tried to show how much this situation was harming them all. “Only to ease his pain… please.”

Thorin looked at Kili. His heart bleeding for him and Fili, but what has been done must continue its course. He shook him off and walked away, his name being called after him.

“Kili.” Ori said softly, both alone.

“You old fool!!” Kili shouted, his voice echoing throughout the empty hall.

“Kili!”

“What?!”

“Thorin told you what you needed to know.”

“What?” He looked at the ginger confused. 

“He told you where Fili was and did not forbid you from leaving. In his own way he’s trying to help.” Ori sighed. “He is tied to this just as badly as Fili is.”

Kili grabbed Ori so tight it surprised the scribe. “Where is he?!”

“A mountain that is big enough to hollow out part of it, with stone as strong as Erebor’s, rebuild it with the same flow of golds and silvers. Fili’s in the White Mountains.”

\-------------------------------------

Fili felt as if his head was splitting in two. A cold, wet, strip of cloth ran over his forehead. He moaned and pressed his face into the cloth. The rim of a wooden cup pressed up against his lips, he greedily drank the water, happy it washed some of the disgusting flavor off of his tongue.

“Is he awake?” The voice sound much too loud to his liking.

“Yes.” The other was more hushed.

He tried to open his eyes but the summer sun burned his eyes causing him to roll over onto his side. His arm shot up to try to cast as shadow over his throbbing head.

“Aaa, wee lamb.” The first voice teased.

“C-clarin?” Fili ventured.

“He at least recognizes _your_ voice.” The other voice said.

“Just speak in broken common again, you know, before you got a hang of it. He’ll recognize your cute stammering then.”

He tried opening his eyes once more, squinting up. His blurry vision starting to focus. Khelging dabbed his face once more, smiling down. Her voice coming in softly, “How are you feeling?”

“Am I dead?” He asked, looking around a bit. “I feel dead.”

“You are feeling the consequences of drinking the worst mead around.” Clarin said. “I do believe you were blind when I found you in that pub last night.”

“I want to die.”

“Then you will leave us friendless. How kind would that be after all Clarin did for you last night?”

What she did for him last night? Last night he… His brain slowly started to recall what had happened. He had drank so badly he had thought Clarin was Kili. He even… Oh Mahal strike him down!! He groaned. He felt mortified now. He had been so drunk that he had thrown up on her, cried like a babe and even… He looked down at his clothing. Yes, that was not a dream, she had helped him urinate as well as dress him.

He grabbed his bag of clothing and pulled it over his head, maybe Khelging would let him suffocate himself.


	6. heat of summer

Kili had been on the road for a month, since he did not have to pace himself with a carriage he was making good time, in another month and a half he should be to the Glittering Caves where Ori was certain that Fili would be. He had been more than glad that Thorin did not show himself when it came to his departure. He did find that Fili’s letters had gone missing and Ori had not been the one to pick them up from the polished floor. Something in his heart said that it was his uncle that had silently collected them, his tired eyes were probably looking over the ink and parchment, feeling helpless as he was bound in tradition. Kili though, he couldn’t live like that. Tradition was good in some ways but others it was not worth it. He had been raised with stories of the mountain, yes, but he never was tied down with what was expected of royalty. Instead of growing up in riches and a fat belly full of sweet meats, he had known poverty. He knew what it was like to have your belly stuck to your back as it ate away at what little fat was clinging onto your bones. He knew the delights of pulling radishes and carrots out of the soil and stuffing it into your mouth before you could wash it because you were so hungry and finally the harvest season had come. He even remembered making himself sick off of uncooked potatoes that Fili had been digging up. The harvest was something he had always looked forward to. They were precious memories of finally having food and seeing his family smile. It made him restless when it came to the late months of summer, he had an ingrained need to go out into the fields and check to see what was ready to pull from the ground and what to wait on.

He also knew the delights of falling in love with pretty faces and lovely giggles. Flirting with dwarven lasses that found him exotic because of his smooth face and handsome face. Many of the dwarven men had teased him thinking he was going to be alone for a good amount of time in his life but truth be told he had a tryst with many lasses and even ladies, a few he found out were married. But he never stayed with one woman as he had not found the one that made his soul sing, it was that romantic desperation that made him look to elves, thinking that perhaps he needed to find someone outside his race, and still, he did not find what he had been looking for. And he knew, deep down, Fili had been the same; always looking for that One. Someone to settle down with and be happy with no matter what life threw at them. And he was going to make sure they both got what they deserved. After everything they had sacrificed, after all they had to do for their kingdom, to Kili, asking Fili or himself to marry outside of love was the same as spitting on Mahal’s Great Anvil.

As Kili continued to travel he pulled his hood more, making sure to shadow his face. The summers were hot here, much hotter than back in the Blue Mountains. They at least had summer rains that would break the spell of heat. Here, the sun seemed to be angry with all around, burning down upon his head. His exposed fingers were red and burnt, which every time he pulled his waterskin out he made sure to pour the water into a bowl and rest his aching fingers into the warm water, finding little relief since the sun had nearly boiled the water in his waterskin.

He looked up at the sky hoping to see any trace of a cloud. All he saw was the endless blue, the same color as his brother’s eyes. He turned his attention back to the land, tall, golden grass making him sigh, homesick for his brother who had hair the same color. The grasshopper’s buzzing song felt like it was drilling into his head as he felt his pony sway. It was time to stop, the heat too much.

He pulled the pony to a stop, climbing down. He found his bowl and poured some water into it and held it up for the sweating animal to drink from. It winnined when its lips came to the warm water and Kili stroked the powerful neck of the animal.

“I know, much to warm, but it is all we have.” He said softly. He continued to hold the bowl up as he let his eyes roam their surroundings. They needed shade. But there was nothing but a flat, golden field. He found he had little choice but to improvise. 

He pulled his packs off of the pony, he dug through his things finding a travel sewing kit. He grabbed the pony’s saddle blanket, his own bed roll and anything else that he could sew together including his own coat. He worked as fast as he could, stitching everything together only well enough to provide some semblance of shelter before breaking apart the tripod that he used to hold his black pot over his campfire. He took the sticks and jabbed them into the ground and fixed his makeshift shelter over them giving some shade. He took his shovel and dug out the top of the soil in a large area where he ushered his pony to lay down in the cool dirt. He sat under the shelter, the pony’s head beside him, his fingers stroking over the large cheek of the animal. They had to wait until night to travel, it was simply too hot to travel during the day and the last thing he wanted was to have his pony die from heat exhaustion.

\------------------------

“He hit you again!” Fili felt rage boiling in his chest, making it hard to breath as he paced the small room that he was now sharing with Clarin and Khelging. 

After he had gotten blindly drunk the girls had grabbed his things and forced him into their rented room above an old haberdasher shop. He had been infinitely grateful that Clarin only teased him here and there about how drunk he was and never mentioned the more embarrassing moments of that night. But after the teasing she would look at him with this expression he didn’t know. It stirred something in his stomach and made him look anywhere but at her. Khelging was a sort of a savior in those awkward moments poking his side and joking about how he looked like a young strapling that had seen his first pretty lass. Which would develop into more jokes until the tides were turned and the girls were the ones with red cheeks and Fili smirking in triumph. 

He had learned that the month of their absence was mostly due to Clarin having to work double shifts while teaching Khelging as much common as possible so the younger could get a job in the quarry. She was a good miner, but she could not get a job without being able to speak common just as well as the next dwarf. Soon as she had it down it was easy for her to get a good paying job and relieved Clarin of having to work so hard, but still the woman worked under an abusive stable master that enjoyed smacking her around. It wasn’t uncommon for her to come home after a long day’s work with a new bruise. This time her lip was split and a purple bruise was blossoming over her right temple. 

Fili dabbed a wet cloth into a bowl of cold water before dabbing it over his friend’s lip. He hated to see something like this happen to anyone, especially when it was to a woman. Back in Ered Luin he beat a rich human bloody when he saw the man slap Dis for bumping into him.

“Does it really matter?” Clarin sighed, closing her eyes and leaning into the cold cloth pressed against her head. She felt dizzy and really all she wanted to do was eat something and sleep.

“Does it matter?” Fili repeated, his stomach twisting until he started to feel sick. “Of course it matters!! You’re his employee not his whipping boy! Clarin, I want you to quit that job.”

“And do what? We need the money to keep what little rat hole of a room we have here! I’ve gotta work to make sure we keep up the rent especially since the landlord wants me to pay fucking double now that you’re here and I will not let you leave so you can just go back to that field!!” She stood up, her split lip bleeding once again as their argument continued.

“The field is better than letting you work yourself to death!!”

“I will not see you bake in this heat like a bread roll and fall over dead like a neglected work horse because I couldn’t take a hit or two!!”

“Then get a different job! I will not have you beaten because of some drunk cannot handle his ale!!”

“Like what Fili?! My skills are limited! I grew up on a farm for Mahal’s sake! I don’t know anything about mining, I don’t know how to run a shop or wait tables or cook in the tavern kitchens! If it is not the stables I work in then it would be the streets where I would wear no trousers and a hiked up skirt.”

“No!” Fili shot to his feet. “I will not allow you!”

“Then what do you want me to do?!” Her eyes were starting to gleam with tears, blood beading down her chin and dripping onto her shirt. “I will not ruin Khelging’s dream of working the mines of the Glittering Caves and I will be damned to wandering after death if I let you go into a marriage that makes you drink until you a blind in hopes you will never wake!!”

Fili’s hand came up to her face, knuckles brushing at the blood. He moved, grabbing up the cloth he had been using earlier. He took hold of her chin, forcing her to hold still as he tended to the bloodied lip. He took a shaky breath. “You will not go back there. It is far past due the time for me to help you and Khelging in return.”

“Fili-”

He moved her face so she looked him in the eye. His voice was as stern as his scowl. “You will not go back, do you understand me? Trust me when I say you will not find yourself or Khelging in want.”

She sighed, the fight leaving her as she let him tend to her wounds. “And what shall I do? I’m terrible when idle.”

“If you must do something then you may tutor me.”

She raised a brow. “Tutor? You?” She snorted. “That’s a bad joke.”

He smiled a little. “Am I that hopeless of a cause?”

“No I-” She huffed trying not to smile as she shoved him slightly. “I’m trusting you on this.”


	7. kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super huge thanks to Draconizuka for drawing Khelging and Clarin!!

Travelling by night was possibly the best idea Kili had. With the cool air the pony moved faster, he was making better time and the water he carried was not nearly as warm as it rested in shade with him during the day. He had hoped that he could take a messenger’s route, making it faster to get to the White Mountains. But those routes were secret, very few knew of them, which left him with only the roads he knew.

He had made it to a town in half the time he had estimated, though he did worry for his pony, having pushed him into the day when he had seen the lamp lights on the horizon. Now he was here, walking his pony and weaving through crowds of dwarves as they bustled about. He could start his search for his brother. But first thing was first, he needed to find a stable for his pony to rest and give him freedom to go about the town.

It was difficult to find anyone that would stop to even spare him a glance. They were absorbed in whatever they were doing. Going from one shop to the next, peddlers not giving you a second glance if you didn’t look like you had coin to spend. It was… completely alien to him. He was used to dwarves that smiled and would greet you. Strike up a conversation with a stranger in the street, not hunch their shoulders over and hurry along like a wounded animal.

“Excuse me!” He tried with a dwarven man that walked past him.

“Pardon me!” He tried with a woman.

“Could you-” He was shoved into causing him to stumble back a few steps and into his pony’s side. “Very well…”

Finally he had enough. He reached blindly into a crowd of people and grabbed the first arm he could gain purchase of. He pulled the dwarf to him greeted with a dwarven woman who looked at him in surprise, several scrolls and a thick book pressed to her chest. Her mouth opened but he cut off whatever she was about to say.

“I just need to know where the hell the stables are! Here! I’ll give you a damn coin for that information!” He rummaged into his tunic with his free hand. He pulled out a coin and shoved it into her palm. 

“It’s right behind you.” She said simply.

Kili looked over his shoulder groaning. His hand was picked up and his coin was returned to him. He looked back at the woman who leaned up to him and whispered as if she would get into trouble if overheard. “You need this more than me, the rooms at the taverns here are a bit expensive. And a word from the wise, don’t drink the mead at the Red Hen.”

She started to move away from him but he grabbed her arm again. She looked at his hand, trying to shrug her arm free. “Please let go.”

“Sorry.” Kili let go of her. “Can I hire you for a few hours? You seem to know your way around and the only one that will actually look me in the eye. I am looking for someone you see, someone very special to me.”

She looked torn, shuffling her feet as if torn between leaving and staying. Kili took hold of her shoulders, brown eyes large and dowey. “Please.”

She still hesitated before giving way, “Very well. Go stable your pony. I’ll wait for you.”

“Thank you!” He slapped her shoulder. “You will be richly rewarded, I assure you!”

\-------------------------------------

Khelging had been walking home, back and arms sore from a long day’s work at the quarry. She was covered in dust and dirt that she still tried to wipe off only to find a few holes in her trousers. She would have to mend them before she went to bed that night. The quarry was hard work but it was a step closer to her goal, to work the mines. Though something about it was worrying her. It nagged at the back of her mind as if her instincts were telling her to open her eyes and see what was in front of her. 

She heaved a sigh and went up the back stairs of the building that would take her to the room she shared with Clarin and Fili. She was in desperate need of a hot bath. She opened the door finding only Fili sitting at the table, she had grown accustomed to seeing him with Clarin now that she was no longer working. Khelging was glad for it, she was getting tired of seeing bruises on her friend’s body. 

“The bath is ready for you.” Fili said simply, not looking up from a paper that he had been hoarding to himself. 

Khelging sat down, pulling off her boots. “Clarin’s not cooking today?”

The blond rubbed his hand over his beard. “Hm?”

“Clarin. Dinner.”

“Oh, uh,” He looked around the room as if the woman was hiding somewhere. “She went out. But she should be back soon, I was going to take the two of you to the markets today.”

“Why, in the world, would we need to go to the markets?” Khelging turned over a boot and shook dust and rocks out onto the floor. 

Fili raises his brows, “I can see through your shirt, only your bodice makes it people don’t get a show of your chest. Your trousers have more holes than a sieve and your boots are only held together with threads. And need I say what is wrong with Clarin’s clothing?”

Khelging rubbed at her forehead. “Where is the money coming from to pay for all of this?”

“Let me worry about it. Get washed up, when Clarin comes back we’re heading out.”

Khelging went to the corner of the room where there was half of a barrel that they used as a bath filled with warm water. She pulled the curtain closed and undressed. The water felt great on her skin, the soap was even better. She was in the middle of scrubbing the dirt out of her hair when she broke the silence.

“What’s on the paper?”

“A… message from my mother.” Fili answered slowly.

“Good news?”

Fili folded up the paper, he ran a hand over his beard trying to keep himself composed. He didn’t like looking at it. It wasn’t good news, his mother’s words burned his heart so badly.

**Fili,**   
**Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Unless Thorin says otherwise, or Sigrun parishes, you must follow through with this.**   
**I am so sorry to hear that you cannot learn to be with your intended. When I was with your father, we had to be with each other for several years before we could lay in the same bed. I had learned over time to respect your father, to trust him enough to place you and your brother into my belly and I thank him even now for the two of you.**   
**I beg you to try harder to learn to get along with Sigrun. She will give you children that you will love and will brighten your life.**   
**My darling, I had hoped you could find someone to love, but we are a family that has little choice.**   
**I love you. ~Dis**

“Fili?”

Fili stood up. “Clarin has been out for a while… I think I will try to find her.”

“Are we still going to the market? Fili?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah… Sorry, finish up and we’ll go together.”

\---------------------------------

“Who in the world are you looking for?” The woman asked as she walked with Kili, eyes on an unfurled scroll. She stumbled along the street as Kili tried pushing people to the side so they could get to the other side of the market.

“I told you, someone important.” Kili replied. “What about you? You’re reading like someone digging for a secret.”

“Not a secret, a law.” She rammed her shoulder into someone as she tripped over a someone’s skirt. Kili grabbed her arm and pulled her up and to his side. His arm slid around her waist, pressing her up against his body as he looked around trying to find a gap in the crowd. 

“What are you a lawyer? And why is it so packed?!”

“I will become one if I must. I will do what I must to keep my family happy and to answer your second question, the mines recently let the workers out, it happens every day. It should thin out in a few hours.”

Kili found an opening pulling the woman along until they were finally out of the thick crowds of dwarves. “How many in your family?”

“One… well two as of recent.”

“Marriage?”

She made a strange face while waving the hand with the scroll in it making a little noise showing that even she had no idea how to really put it into words. It was a circumstance that just happened, no rhyme or reason to it.

“So… will you show me around? And what is your name?”

“Clarin.” She stuck her scroll under her arm. She let out a heavy sigh. “I did agree to show you around, and my family isn’t really going anywhere any time soon. I can do this on my own time… what is your name and who are you looking for?”

“I’m Kili. I-”

“Kili?” Clarin’s eyes widened. She took a step from him, eyeing him over. He did have dark eyes like her, hair almost the same color, to drunk eyes it would have been easy to mistake Clarin for the dwarf in front of her. She stepped around him, looking at him curiously. They really did look similar, in a few ways. “By Durin’s beard…”

“You know of me?”

She nodded. “Follow me.”


	8. to get a little help

“Could you try to dress faster?” Fili asked, shifting uncomfortably. He got up and started to pace. He really didn’t like it that Clarin had been out for so long, it made him worry, then again he worried when Khelging went to work at the quarry, he worried over how some day he would have to return to Sigrun, he worried that they would send word to Thorin and the king himself would force Fili to bed that cow. His stomach twisted with helplessness and all he wanted was to run away from everything and go home. Drink an ale with Bofur, get into a scrap with Dwalin, and roll around in the fields with Kili… Have his brother distract him with strange antics… see how the sun shined on his dark hair as he nocked back an arrow as he practiced his archery…

“I’m trying, but the tie to my bodice broke.” Khelging was fully dressed, her bodice the last thing to be put on.

“All the more reason to get you new clothing.” Fili grumbled as he went over to his friend, grabbing the ties and having to pull out a few of the laces before tying it only half way.

He was just finishing the tie when the door to their room opened. “Finally, you’re back.” He sighed. “Clarin, next time you- oof!”

A solid body slammed into him, lurching him away from Khelging in one direction, strong arms wrapping around him in a grappling hug as he was yanked into another. It felt like forever, each heart beat was an hour long as his mind registered that hug. He had known it all his life. The smell of nuts and freshly tilled soil filled his nostrils. He pulled back from the embrace, he had to make sure, he couldn’t be just having a fabrication of fantasy.

Chocolate brown eyes looked back at him from the dwarf that was taller. His hair a mess, face scratchy with that familiar stubble. He looked Kili from head to toe, then back up to his wide grin. He wasn’t wearing his coat, but his usual mixture of blue and gold with brown trousers. He cupped his sibling’s cheeks, thumbs rubbing over stubble. He was here. Kili was truly here. 

Fili pulled on his brother while lifting himself onto his toes and reverently placed a kiss on his sweet, sweet, Mahal blessed, brow.

“How on earth did you find me?”

“A bit of help from Ori I was able to figure out you were sent here, then I ran into possibly the only person in this whole town that’s willing to help a stranger. I was brought here and well, now you have me to bother you about this whole situation.” Kili smiled slapping his brother on the back. 

The blond sighed heavily, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on Kili’s shoulder. That crushing weight on his world didn’t feel so heavy now. While his mother’s letter brought him no hope, Kili’s presence broke the storm over him so he could finally see blue sky once more. 

“Come.” Kili grabbed Fili’s shoulders and shook him slightly with glee. “We must celebrate being together again.”

“Yes, you must.”

For the first time since Kili’s arrival they were brought to the awareness that they were not alone in the room. Khelging smiled when they looked to her. Fili wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her over.

“Kili, you must meet my friends. This is Khelging. Khelging, this is my brother. We were about to go out to look for Clarin-”

“I met her.” Kili turned to the silent woman that still held onto scrolls and a thick tome. “The only dwarf in town willing to help others.”

“Yes, well, it is hard to say no to someone who looked like a starved stray.” Clarin replied. “Besides, Fili needs someone around that can cheer him up.”

With a few, quick, strides Fili was over to her. He snatched her up into a hug, crushing her and the stuff she held against his chest. He lifted her off of the floor making her squeak as he forced all the air out of her lungs. She patted desperately at his chest, kicking out her legs to get his attention. When he noticed she needed to breath he apologized and dropped her to her feet. She coughed taking in a deep breath. Her cheeks were slapped by Fili’s hands, forcing them together and puffing out her lips in a ridiculous fashion. He yanked her forward and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you. I- Clarin, you are Mahal sent. Thank you.” 

“I need to stop helping you.” Clarin said with a groan as she let the tome drop with a loud thud as it hit the floor. The book had left marks on her arms that would bruise and from the ache in her ribs she was certain those would too from Fili’s unbridled strength. She rubbed at her sores. “I seem to get punished, every time I do.”

\---------------------------

Through Clarin’s insistance Khelging and herself stayed behind so the brothers could have some time together. They were inseparable, staying side by side until they found a decent enough place to eat. It was easy for them to slip back into their brotherly routine, as if it had been nothing but a bad day that had separated them. They had found a decent enough pub where they sat and talked over pint after pint of ale. They talked about how Erebor was, how everyone there were struggling but little by little it was being fashioned back to the grand stature it had once been. Then their light conversation grew heavy.

“And the marriage?” Fili asked, his head feeling a little light.

Kili sighed and leaned back in his seat. “I couldn’t find anything that would help us, I even had Ori looking. The best we could come up with is a law that states that if they cannot deliver the proper dowry, the one that was promised, then the arrangement was broken or if you had already wed then the marriage annulled.”

“That’s at least something.” Fili rested his elbow on the tabletop and leaned his cheek against his knuckles. “It will take a lot of stone to rebuild Erebor, it’ll bide us some time.”

“Have you received a letter from mother yet?”

“Yes.” The blond sighed. He pulled the letter out from where he had tucked it away and handed it to Kili. “Not much help, actually, none at all. She says I must find some sort of happiness with Sigrun.” He fell silent, eyes drifting off somewhere as his thoughts took him away from that woman. He didn’t like her, hated her, couldn’t stand her. But there was a woman he liked, and he couldn’t help but feel as if this was even more unfair than before. Perhaps it was a god’s cruel joke, hissing with laughter at him, to make him wish for something he could not have.

Kili read over the letter, stuffing it into his own coat. “This is outrageous… No one seems to be able to help. I wish Bilbo was here.”

Fili couldn’t help the snerk that came from his mouth. “Bilbo? What could he do?”

“He’s a lawyer, maybe he could find some subclause or something we have over looked.”

“That… is a really good idea. In fact that is brilliant!” Fili got up, swaying just a little as the alcohol rushed to his head. “We must send him a message immediately!”

Though tipsy, the two headed back to the small room that Clarin and Khelging were. They ignored the girls as they sat at the table, speaking loudly and writing sloppily on some parchment. Khelging and Clarin largely kept to themselves, Clarin cooking something over the fire in the small fireplace, Khelging mending her torn trousers. They shared a look as the brothers rambled about what to write in their letter. 

“There, done.” Kili said with a slight slur.

“Then we need to send it right away.” Fili rubbed at his face trying to clear his clouded mind.

“Have you boys eaten?” Khelging asked before they could get up out of their chairs.

“Mmm, no, no we haven’t.” Fili perhaps he drank a little too much on an empty stomach.

Two bowls were placed down in front of them, stuffed full with boiled potato and grilled meat slices. “Then eat.” Clarin said.

“It does smell good…” Kili said softly having a spoon shoved into his hand. 

“Clarin is a good cook.” Fili sounded rather proud of that fact. 

“Rubish, Khelging is better than I am.”

“That’s true.”

Clarin swatted his shoulder playfully. “You are supposed to say that I’m better than her.”

“But then I would be lying.”

“Smart ass.” She flicked her finger from Fili over to Kili. “Is he always this mouthy?”

“Only in the presence of a beautiful lass that he’s trying to impress.” Kili winked.

“By Mahal, you two really are brothers. Silver tongued and clueless as a pup.” Khelging spoke up as she put down two cups of water. She shared a look with Clarin, the taller woman waited until both Fili and Kili were looking at Khelging before she slipped her hand over and took the paper they had been writing on their letter on.

“Pup? My dear lady, I am a grown wolf.” Kili grinned. “And my brother is no cub but a lion.”

“Are you trying to brag about your prowess in bed, because if you are, next time try to say so without having bits of potato dropping on the front of your tunic.”

Kili laughed while he flicked the potato off. “I like you.” He looked over to Fili while he pointed at Khelging. “I like her.”

“Where… where did Clarin go?” Fili asked, sobering up a little after have silently eaten and sipped at his water. He looked down at the table, the letter gone. He got to his feet, going to the door.

“Fili?” 

“Just stay little brother. I will be back shortly.” He said as he went into the hallway.

Sitting on the top step with a candle next to her was Clarin. She had that heavy tome on her lap, using it as a writing desk.

“Clarin? What are you doing?”

“You and your brother’s penmanship is atrocious…”

Fili picked up the candle and sat down next to her, he looked at what she was doing. She was simply writing the letter again in a finer handwriting. She was right, the letter he and written with Kili looked like something a chicken would scratch into the ground.

“You don’t have to do this in secret… you could have asked.”

“I had tried to amuse myself with the idea that I wouldn’t get hurt if you did not know I was helping you.” 

“I… I am sorry for the bruises. I just couldn’t contain myself…” He put the candle down by his foot. “Let me see.” 

Her hand stilled, her breath huffed through her nose a few times as he took hold of her wrist. He pulled her sleeve up and moved her arm so he could look at the skin that was still red in marks from the hardcover of the book. His fingers gently brushed over the welts. His heart feeling a little heavy. He did not mean to hurt her, she didn’t complain about it, nor did she seem upset with that…

“Why… why do you say that I hurt you?”

“I didn’t think you were blind drunk again.”

“I’m serious, Clarin.”

She sighed, a sad smile coming to her lips as she looked in Fili’s eyes. “Because I’ll wake from this dream.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that Khelging had always wanted to work in the Glittering Caves. I’ve told you before. It’s her dream and her coming from a mining family, it was understandable and I wanted to help her achieve that.”

“And what is your dream?”

Clarin’s bottom lip wrinkled, her brow knitted. She took in a deep breath and looked away from him. “Something I can never have, but I can fantasize about.” 

Fili reached up, taking her chin into his hand. He gently pulled making her look at him. “Clarin… you don’t have to fantasize about this.”

“I just want to go home.” Her voice was so tiny, like a lost little girl. Tears glistened in her eyes and started to spill down her cheeks. She let out a curse and pulled away from Fili, rubbing a palm over her eyes. “And you-you feel like home and you know what it’s like to-to-to-” A choked sob escaped her lips. She pushed her fingers up through her hair leaving a large ink smudge on her forehead. “I need t-to help you b-because you and K-k-khelging are all I have a-and now you’re going to leave.”

He took the tome from her, moving it and her writing items out onto the hallway behind them. He then pulled her close, wrapping her in a warm hug and pressing her face to his shoulder. His heart ached. He had been selfish in this friendship. She had gone out of her way to make sure Khelging’s dream was being realized, she was doing everything she could to help Fili feel as if he belonged and that not matter what he had a place that he could go to feel warm and safe. And yet she had been suffering, scared and lost, not knowing what to do while enduring strange and violent situations. She wasn’t a warrior, she was a simple farm girl, far from home.

Fili stroked her back, hand in her hair as he encouraged her to cry. 

“I won’t leave you here alone.” He hugged her tighter as a fresh sob was muffled against his shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9

Fili stayed awake that night. He laid with his back pressed against Kili’s, the familiar warmth of his brother made his body relax, and on several occasions he felt the pull of sleep. But he remained awake with a troubled mind. The one room apartment was small, it was crowded with three dwarves… now there were four. He still needed to buy Khelging and Clarin new clothes as the cloth that covered them was riddled with holes and worn down to the point that it was easy to see their bodies underneath. Then there was the fact that Clarin was up, sitting at the one table with all her book and scrolls, reading by the dim candle light. Even after she cried… her body shaking with tears as he held onto her… the pained sobs of someone that was so alone even though she had people around her that cared… There she sat, eyes skimming over whatever she needed to study. 

“Clarin?” Khelging’s groggy voice spoke up from the other side of the room where she laid on the straw mattress.

“Hm?” Clarin hummed.

“What are you doing awake?” The miner whispered. “Dawn will be coming soon.”

“Do not worry, go back to sleep. You need your rest.”

Khelging huffed out a long breath. “So do you.”

“I will sleep when I find what I am looking for.”

Khelging sighed, getting up and coming over to the table, feet heavy from sleep. She pulled out a chair and sat down, the sound of the tearing of cloth could be heard over the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. 

Fili held in a sigh as he watched the girls. He really should have at least bought them some clothes yesterday. He felt even more terrible than before.

“What tore?” Clarin put a hand on Khelging’s shoulder and made her twist a bit so she could look at her back. She let out a heavy sigh. “Your blouse is useless, completely torn.”

“I can mine in my bodice.” 

“You’ll do no such thing.” Clarin scooted forward on her chair and reached back, her fingers unlacing her bodice. “You’ll wear my blouse.”

“Clarin, I’m not wearing your blouse. You need it.”

“For what? Reading? I think not.” She pulled off his bodice, then pulled off her blouse, soft breasts exposed.

Fili’s cheeks flushed. He couldn’t pull his eyes away as Clarin helped Khelging out of her own bodice and remove her shirt. She moved in the way of his line of sight, her bare back presented to him before he caught the sight of Khelging’s naked top. He couldn’t help but admire the strong muscles, the way her skin pulled and shifted with every movement… it was… 

He rolled over, pressing his face into his brother’s hair before he could finish that thought. It wasn’t his place to think such things. They were his friends… friends that he took advantage of. Besides, he was engaged to another and no matter how much he hated Sigrun he had his own honor to uphold… and he would do the same for Clarin and Khelging. Tomorrow… tomorrow he would surprise them with the finest things. He owed them that much.

\-----------------

When Kili woke up he felt the familiar pop of his back from sleeping on a hard surface. He twisted one way, then another, feeling more popping here and there before stretching out his legs and wiggling his toes. He then released a very loud yawn that was echoed by a certain someone that was still sitting at the table. The only difference from last night was that the candle on the table was burnt down and for some reason Clarin had a bodice and worn trousers on which gave anyone a good look of how her breasts rounded up at the top.

The dark haired prince pulled himself up off of the floor, he stumbled a little before grabbing the back of a chair and pulling it out so he could sit down. He rubbed at his face, blinking his eyes wide a few times trying to encourage himself to stay awake.

“Good morning.” He mumbled.

“What?” Clarin’s eyes continued to go over a page before she turned it.

“I said, good morning.”

She frowned, eyes half squinted as she looked up to the one window in the room to see blue sky. “It’s morning?”

“That usually what we call the time of day when the sun first comes out.”

“I thought that was the sunrise.” She rubbed at a tired eye giving a little smile.

Kili grinned. “Which is in the morning.”

“But it can’t be morning until the sunrises, yeah?”

The prince nudged her foot, playfully, with his own. “You’re a playful thing, even when you haven’t slept, by the looks of it.”

“Whoever said mornings were beautiful are wrong, everyone looks terrible in the mornings.”

“True…” Kili rubbed the pad of his thumb under his nose giving a quick sniff. Trying hard not to stare at her cleavage as she leaned back over the book she was reading. “So, uh… where’s Fili?”

“Left with Khelging.”

“Wwwheeen?”

“I have no idea.” She mumbled.

“...I… Please don’t think me rude but, why don’t you have a shirt?”

“Oh, uh, Khelging’s tore last night, gave her mine.” 

Silence pulled between them. Kili bouncing his foot as Clarin read a few more pages, getting to the end of the thick book. The sound of the cover snapping shut made Kili jump a little at the sudden sound.

“Right. That got me no where.” She mumbled as she got herself up to her feet. She padded her trousers down, looking around the room as if trying to catch a thought. “Now I need… to… where’s my coin pouch?”

“Fili could have grabbed it. He does that to me all the time when he doesn’t want me spending my money.”

“No.” She dipped down and grabbed it off the ground where it had fallen. “I had forgotten to put it away last night.” She looked in it, thumbing through the few coppers she had left. “Rrrrriiight, I need to go back to the markets for more books. You are welcome to come or stay.”

Kili was already putting on his boots. “I’m coming with you. If Fili’s not getting you clothes then I will.”

“I have no time for that. I need to get-”

“Clothes first, then books. And what are you looking up. When I first met you, you said you were doing this for a friend. Is it safe for me to assume it’s for Fili?”

“Yes.”

“Then let me help you while you help him.” Kili got up and grabbed his belt, his own coin purse tied to his belt. “I’m thinking something with silver and blue, maybe some green.”


	10. Chapter 10

Sigrun was livid. She was so angry! This was her one chance to get to the station that she deserved! She didn’t deserve to be just nobility but royalty! She was graceful, delicate, fair, kind, caring. She was everything that the kingdom deserved, everything that the dwarven people could have ever wished for! She was more amazing than the king’s jewel and Fili could not see that!

Fili, that selfish brat of a prince. He refused to hold Sigrun’s hand, let her hold onto his arm, he refused to treat her with what she desired and continue with the way of life she was accustomed to. How was he supposed to make a good ruler when he couldn’t even be a good husband?! Then he had the audacity to lock his rooms, barricade it and run away! Sigrun had tried to send people out to find him but he had disappeared from the city for what seemed like forever, now… now there were sightings of him running around in the markets with two women, poor as poppers, wearing the same clothing day after day. She found out that one was a stable hand and when she had gone to confront the bitch that was trying to ruin Sigrun’s future she found that the woman had recently quit. The other, vile creature, worked in the quarry. She had tried to get to her as well, but her father caught her and reprimanded her. He told her that she should have known better than to go to the quarry, it was too dangerous for her delicate body, anything could happen! And he was right, she should not endanger herself like that… but maybe she could find someone that worked alongside that woman from the Blue Mountains that needed some extra coin. 

“Sigrun, my little jewel.” Her father came up to her, dressed in his finest as usual, with decorative furrs and rich colors usually only reserved for royalty to wear. He held out his arms. She stepped up to him, resting her head on his broad chest as he hugged her tight. “My precious, precious little girl… I know you suffer so, your love acting so terribly to you.”

She sniffled. “He acts as if he is disgusted with me, father. And he has run away and I worry for him so.”

“I know, I know, that is why I had taken the liberty of contacting the King. I have just received word that he will be leaving before their fall rains to come and sort out his heir, himself!”

She smiled pulling back to look up at her father’s face. “Really and truly?”

He caressed her cheek. “He sent his own personal messenger to deliver the missive. Everything will be sorted and your love will see all the wrongs he has done unto you.” He stroked her hair. “Now, you need to rid your mind of all that upsets you. Why do you not go to the markets and buy whatever your heart desires? Take as many servants as you wish to carry your things.”

“Thank you, father! Thank you, thank you!”

\------------------------

Fili unrolled some of the material, rubbing it between his fingers. He may be a warrior, a great huntsmen like his brother, and the heir to the throne, but he had rather refined tastes when it came to clothes. I enjoyed simple things but of great quality. The simpler it was the less likely it was to be stolen, the better quality the longer it lasted. He had trial and errors with different materials, what stones were best for building with, what wood was best for making furniture with, and what cloth to make into clothing, curtains, and blankets. 

He went from one bolt to the next, testing it out, tilting his head and holding some of it up towards the sun to see how dense it was. Finally he had about six or seven he had decided on and got several yards of. He went about finding buttons and fine silken ropes that were thin in gauge and strong. Metal clasps and clips and many types of threads were all placed into a sack as he continued to look for different things. It was amazing how much two gold coins could buy. He had the run of the shop, infact he was certain if he threw in an extra silver then he could just buy the shop itself. Which wouldn’t have been such a bad idea if he did not have other plans. So with the leftover money he started up a prepaid tab. He took his things and went to the leatherworkers going through their goods much like he had the previous shop. He didn’t have the tools to work leather with him so he placed a few orders. Time passed by, pulling long hours past him and soon morning was afternoon as he busied himself. Finally he decided it was time to go and get done what he wanted to get done the most.

The bell rung and the innkeeper looked up with a smile. From the sacks that was being carried he was certain that it was another traveler looking for a place to stay.

“Good afternoon, Master.” The dwarf greeted.

“Good afternoon,” Fili put down his sacks by the front desk. He rolled his shoulders, happy to be out of the pounding heat. “I have a few questions. One, how many rooms do you have?”

“Seven are currently available.”

“I’ll take three, one with two beds.”

“For how long?”

“Until further notice. You see I have some family working the the quarry and my brother and I are visiting.”

“Say no more, family is very important.” The dwarf grinned. “How about three silvers a room for a week at a time?”

“I’ll make it four if you include meals.”

“Deal.”

Fili dug into his coin purse, fishing out the money. “Now, my second question is; how do you handle laundry here? Some places offer the service others do not.”

“Laundry is included in the price.”

“Last question; How long are your summer months? Back in the Blue Mountains we would have seen Fall Rains by now.”

“Fall Rains won’t be here for another month, those last into the Winter months as we don’t get snow, only at the top of the mountains do you get that here. It’ll let up in spring and back into the summer. I can imagine that’s very different from the Blue Mountains.” He took the coins that Fili offered him for the rooms. “I have been to the Blue Mountains once, very lovely place to visit.”

Fili pressed his lips into a tight smile. He missed Ered Luin, the tall trees, the calm weather, how the sun kissed his cheeks and not try to burn him. The innkeeper grabbed a few keys and handed them to Fili, having him follow him to the rooms. He went up the stairs and around some of the winding halls before they came to two rooms across the hall from each other. One single room and the other held two beds where Fili dropped his sacks in. The other one was upstairs and was wonderfully spacious. Fili thanked the man and was left alone. He looked around the room and nodded to himself. This would due. 

He went back to the apartment that held their things. Clarin and Kili gone. He looked at one side of the room, Kili’s packs, his own, stuffed to the brim with things. Then on the other side was Clarin and Khelging’s things. A moth eaten blanket that the two shared, two empty packs… He picked up one of the packs, it had the subtle weight of something inside. He reached in and pulled out a tattered rope and a simple peasant knife. The blade was well kept and when folded it turned into a hand saw, it was a lot like the one that Kili owned. Khelging’s then. He picked up the other one and his heart sank at the weight in it. He pulled out a roll of parchment. He unrolled it, seeing a pretty drawing. It wasn’t as good as Ori’s but it was decent enough that he knew what it was. A simple cabin, a field with fruit trees around…

_”You feel like home.”_

He quickly rolled up the picture and put it back into the pack. He went about grabbing everything he could carry, which, luckily was everything. He didn’t fancy taking another trip. He put his and Kili’s things into their room at the inn, Khelging’s then went up to put Clarin’s in the room above. He found himself stopping in the hall. Maybe… she didn’t want her own room? What if she wanted to room with Khelging? Or… or with him… No… no he couldn’t think like that.

He hugged the pack to his chest, resting his head on the wood of the door, letting out a long sigh. He was getting stupid… so dumb… he was going to slip up if he wasn’t careful. Besides, he could only be thinking like this because it has been a while since he had been with a woman in intimate embrace. It could just be his basic needs crying out for attention. And he would not be misguided by that.

He opened the door and threw it in. He closed and locked the door quickly then left the inn, he still needed to get pre made clothes.

\------------------------

Kili didn’t know how it had ended up like this. Clarin had some how convinced him to get scrolls and books first, they ended up having to buy a travel pack as Clarin spent the last of her money and there was no comfortable way to carry all that she had gotten. Kili was feeling weighed down by the pack, wondering how the hell Ori survived their journey considering he was carrying something similar with other supplies. And now he and Clarin were currently lost trying to find the pre made clothing shop. They did find one place where he ordered her a whole set of clothes, much to her protest, which was… rather adorable with all her blushing and stammering. But she still needed a shirt and trousers until the order could be filled.

Clarin was currently scratching at her head while looking around when a dwarf came by, eyes directly to her breasts. “You, uh, lost?” He asked.

“I’m trying to find-”

“Get lost!” Kili growled at the man who suddenly looked up, noticing Kili. It was Kili’s glare and snarl that got the other to run off.

“He could have known where to find-”

“No, he wouldn’t. All he wants to find is a way to satisfy his damn cock.” Kili hissed.

“Not all men are like that.”

“Name one.”

“I know two, you and Fili.”

“We don’t count.”

“You will always count.” Clarin looked around with a little bit of a squint. “Fine… let’s try asking a shop owner.”

“Meaning, I’ll ask a shop owner, you keep your breasts hidden.”

“It’s not my fault they want to be out and free.”

Kili burst out laughing. “Come on, let’s go.” He snickered a bit, glancing over to her. “Do you talk to your breasts often?”

“Only when I need advice with men.”

He laughed again. He reached over and grabbed Clarin’s hand. “I like you.”

“I like you too.” She swung their hands a little as they walked. 

“Like me enough to tell me what you’re looking for in all these books?”

She gave a little shrug one shoulder. “It’s not much… I mean, it’s not a remedy for Fili’s situation but it may help.”

“So, you know he’s in an arranged marriage?”

Clarin squeezed Kili’s hand. “Yeah… and that he hates her. I only found out about it when I found him so drunk that he mistook me for you, cried on me for a good while.”

“If he was that drunk, he must have been a joy to handle.”

“Easier to handle than a violent drunk.” She reached up with her other hand and rubbed her palm over an eye that still throbbed at the memory of one of the punches that the stable master had given. She took in a quick breath and pushed it to the side. “I had started to think of what I might be able to do to help… then he got a letter from your mother. I saw it over his shoulder… I remembered something, when my family had...well, back in the day something happened, and I had heard of something happening that dealt with arranged marriage. It was stopped due to some complication between the families caused by a legal rite. All I remember was there was a representative for each party, and they set up the terms and conditions of how the courtship will go and if anything is not met then the courtship is null and void. I need to find the details of it, find what it is. It won’t be a cure for this, but it may help buy him some time until something else is figured out.” She swung their joined hands in a large arche. Her voice turning from heavy to light. “I don’t understand why you are a family with little choice, but I want you to have those choices. It seems that the cruel are given everything and the kind always have to fight and suffer. So I will fight for him and you. He’s family now, and that makes you too. AH!!” 

She was suddenly yanked, her body colliding with the solid wall of Kili’s. Her hand was let go of and strong arms wrapped around her, crushing her in a tight hug. His hand slid into her hair. 

Kili’s mind had been a whirlwind of despair for so long, since the first time he was told of Fili’s engagement. No matter what he had done, whom he had spoken to, it all came to the same conclusion. There was nothing he could do. Nothing anyone could do. Their own mother even left them in the darkness of fear and turmoil. They were royals. They had little choice over anything they did, but here, this simple girl that didn’t know a lick about them. Had no idea of what they had to endure and how shackled their free spirits had become. Fighting a fight because it was the right thing to do.

Fili had been on his way to the shop, he caught sight of Kili and Clarin. Kili had chased a dwarf off. He smiled and started towards them, his pace slowing when Kili started to laugh before he reached over and took Clarin’s hand. Fili stopped and watched as they clicked together, so naturally, like pieces to a puzzle. He swallowed hard, his hands twitching, fingers slowly curling when Clarin swings their hands. Something sharp stung at him and it became a stab when Kili grabbed her into a hug. Holding her so close, like lovers that have been parted for far too long.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t be jealous, he had no claim to her. He couldn’t place a claim on her even if he wanted to… he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to. She was a friend, that was it. Just a friend, like Khelging.

He took another breath, forced a smile on his face before willing his feet to move. Step after step was hard to do but eventually it became easy and he even heard himself call out a greeting. The clench around his heart slowly relaxed when they parted. They didn’t jump or look as if they were caught doing something wrong. Kili only rushed from Clarin grabbing Fili into a tight hug, the weight of his pack making him slam into his brother.

“Easy little brother.” Fili couldn’t help the laugh as he patted Kili’s shoulder. “What has you excited?”

“Clarin! She’s amazing!” He pulled away and looked back at the woman. “She may have found a way for us to get you out of this whole business with Sigrun!”

“Rea-...” Fili’s blue eyes turned to Clarin. “Is this true?”

“It’s not a complete rescue, only something we might be able to stave the marriage off for a little time until your lawyer friend comes. If he comes.”

“And… this is why you have been up all night?”

“I will be up for many more nights I am afraid, I need to research this. I was hesitant to tell because I don’t want to give you false hope.”

She was being grabbed again, hugged close, face pressed into the soft cloth of Fili’s shirt.

“Any hope is welcome.” He mumbled into her hair.

“Prince Fili.” The voice ran icy fingers down his spine.

He held onto Clarin tighter, eyes wide as his heart stopped. Not her… Not here… not now…

The tenseness in Fili’s body made Clarin worry. He was happy, now he was… scared. It triggered something inside, something she had hidden deep down for a long time.

“I’m sorry.” Clarin pulled away from Fili’s hesitant grip. She grabbed onto his shirt, making sure he couldn’t turn around, for the person to see his face. She was glaring with a sharp and dangerous look. A quick lie on her tongue. “You are interrupting a private moment while mistaking my brother,” she indicated to Kili. “and my cousin.”

“Cousin?” The strange woman folded her arms under her breasts. She immediately started to poke holes into the story. Knowing there was only one person with that kind of mane of hair like Fili’s. “Unless you are from the line of Durin I highly doubt that, especially dressed as you are. Prince Fili helped reclaim Erebor, helped slay a dragon. There is no way you are related to him and I know that his him. And if this mud-pup is really your brother then I am sorry to hear it, dressed in thread bear clothing, no blouse while he’s dressed well. What kind of brother cares so little for his sister?”

“Rude little bitch, aren’t you?” Clarin snarled. 

“Sister, let’s go.” Kili said coldly, falling into the lie himself. He put a hand on Fili’s back and quickly they walked away, before he had to run back and grab Clarin who was silently daring the woman to follow. “I said, let’s go.”

He pulled her by her elbow until they were lost in a crowd. Dodging through the alleyways, so she would not follow.

“Haven’t seen a day of work in her life,” Clarin hissed under her breath, stocking ahead of the brothers. “A fucking noble that doesn’t know what sweat and blood is spilled to give her the sweets in her belly and the fine clothing she wears!!”

“Clarin.” Fili’s voice was quiet. Worry beating in his chest, he knew she didn’t like nobles… now… now she knew he was royalty… She, she was going to hate him now.

“Stealing from those who work hard their whole life! Making them miserable because she just has money!!”

“Clarin.” He tried again, brushing his fingers over her back.

She whirled around, smacking his hand away, face twisted in furry. “Don’t touch me!!”

“Clarin, I understand you are angry with us but-”

“Angry is an understatement!”

“Listen!”

“Why should I?!”

“Very well.” Fili scowled. He moved forward, dipping down and wrapping his arms around her thighs, within an instant she was slung over his shoulders and he was carrying her.

“Fili! FILI! Put me down!”

Kili followed and gave her a sympathetic look. “He won’t put you down. I know from experience.”

“What?!”

“I have even pulled down his trousers once, didn’t stop him.”

She stared at him while she bounced with each long step of Fili’s. He only smiled with sad eyes. “I thought he told you… I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t long until they were entering a building. She was being carried up the stairs and couldn’t see much besides Fili’s backside, his feet, Kili across from her and polished wood and wallpaper. There was the sound of a lock, a door opening, then she was deposited on the floor. She laid there a deep frown on her face. “Where am I?”

“You’re new room.” Fili said sharply. He looked over to Kili. “Wait outside.”

Kili took off the pack of books on his back and dropped it to the floor with a hard thump. He nodded and shut the door behind him. He leaned against it, ear pressed against the wood.

Fili sat down by her feet, she sat up slowly, the two looking at each other with equally hard glares.

“You’re pissed off. But you still defended me with Sigrun, why?”

She rubbed at her arm not saying anything, looking away. Her anger swelling into something hideous inside, pulling up things she had tried so hard to hide from. Things she wanted to forget. It hurt so much to feel them again. Twisting hard like a coiled snake about to strike. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to breath, trying not to remember.

Fili’s fingers brushed against her face, gently touching the whiskers on her cheek. His voice was low and soft. “Why, Clarin?”

Silence. As she turned her face into his palm, nose puffing shaky breaths over the meat of his thumb. Her voice was so small, so hard to hear, but he heard it. It stabbed at his heart.

“Why must you hurt me every time I help you?” She had asked.

“I don’t mean to hurt you.” He leaned forward. His nose pressed against her temple, the beads of his mustache swinging a little from the action and brushing across her cheek. He wanted to place his lips upon her, reassure her that he didn’t meant to hurt her. Show that he cared that he was starting to understand what she meant by that. “I… I’m sorry.”

He pulled away, getting up to his feet. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you… but I thought you would hate me if you knew.”

“Hate you?” She looked at him, eyes shining with unshed tears, hair a mess and so emotionally wrecked. “How could I hate you? You made it all stop.”

“... made… made what stop?”

The bad emotions were screaming at her, spilling over, the snake coiled and sprung as she let the words just fall out. “They stopped taking our land! Taking our homes and burning them down because they wanted to mine our mountain!! You, your brother, our King! You made the selling of virginity stop! The fear of the dragon coming to pick us up to eat us, to having our brothers, fathers, and cousins marching off to seek glory in slaying a dragon or scouting to see if we were safe enough to come out only to be slain by orcs!” 

She got up to her feet, hands coming up to touches Fili’s face only to come short as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Tears started to drop from her eyes as saliva stuck to her lips as she spoke. Letting the rotten emotions of hopelessness spill out.

“The fear of hiding away, watching the skies for that damn dragon. Horrified when it snatches your sister, plucking her off of the ground as if she was just a flower only to throw her up into the air and eat her because she was a virgin. Only to have the village burst into madness, men and women terrified for their lives. Some running for their lives, others rading homes, while some push you down onto the ground to stick his disgusting cock into you. And fucking you like the town whore, saying it’s for your own good so that you won’t be taken away like your sister only to find out it’s your own father using you!! And-And he won’t get off of you so you grab something, anything, to fight him off and you grab a rock and hit him upside the head and he’s twitching on top of you, still buried deep inside as he’s d-dying!”

She was shaking, trembling from head to toe. She wanted to stop, stop saying all of this, because Fili is looking at her in horror. She can feel his disgust in her, for not being able to fight her father off, not able to protect her sister, for killing the man, for having a dead man’s cock inside of her. But she’s still talking, still crying because he’s a disgusting creature that couldn’t keep secrets. 

“Afterwards you have to protect your brothers and a little girl you found in a woodshed because they are all you have left and your mother sells you to others for money because the nobles came and took all of your land! Land you have lived on all your life, land your family owned back in Durin’s time, taken by nobles that did not even work it!! They hired other families to work the land and make you move into a shack, make you into a whore!!!” A hand went into her hair, her fingers curling as she shifted her weight from leg to leg once more, tears won’t stop flowing. She was raw and open. The fight leaving her voice. “Then your mother dies, and your brothers go to-to try to find riches only to be killed by orcs. M-my little… my little boys… n-now, I only have Khelging. And y-you and-and Kili, all the others. You made it all stop, and we could leave.”

Fili took in a shaky breath. Each word she spoke felt like a punch in his gut. He didn’t know how bad things had gotten for the dwarves that lived close to Erebor. Never he had imagined… and yet, she didn’t hate him. She was thankful.

“Why?” He managed to push out. “Why do I hurt you?”

She shook her head, a whimper leaving her lips.

“Clarin, tell me!”

“Because I love you!!” She was rubbing her naked wrist over her face as a fresh wave of tears ripped through her. “Because I love you and I sh-shouldn’t. I’m dirty, disgusting-”

Fili pulled her hands away from her face and head. His lips colliding with hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to change the warnings because things are going to get intense.


	11. Chapter 11

It felt wonderful, the softness of her lips, the spark that jolted up his spine up to his head filling his scalp with a sensation that he could only relate to the blossoming of a flower. When she pressed back warmth filled his chest, swelling and threatening to spill out. Then she was pulling back, sniffling.

“W-we can’t.” She whispered, but her lips were still so close that they brushed against his, her labored breathing from crying washing across his chin and mouth. Then they were kissing again, lips barely parted, tongues shyly pressing together. Testing. Tasting.

Fili slipped a hand into her messy hair, feeling the kitten soft silk. His heart ached as he knew if he deepened the kiss any further there was no going back. He needed to protect this sweet one, the one he had unwittingly fallen in love with. He wanted to declare to her everything, tell how much he didn’t care if she had slept with others. How he knew that women in such a situation of being placed in prostitution were victims not dirty whores. They were sweet doves, soiled by the actions of the wicked. His heart yanked and pulled, yearned to kiss away her tears that continued to fall.

“We can’t.” She said once more, sounding so much worse than before. 

He was surprised by how broken his own voice was as he tried to contain himself. “I know.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” he pulled back enough to wipe at her tears. “No, never apologize to me. I-” He choked on the words, he wanted to say them so badly. 

“No, I’m sorry I love you.” She blurted through another sob. Her hands came up to his wrists, holding onto them. “You don’t deserve it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He swallowed seeing her face red from crying, how her teeth clenched. She was so raw and open. He felt his own eyes sting. He hated this. She shouldn’t be sorry for feeling love.

“You stupid girl.” He pushed out through a breath. He pressed his forehead against hers. He gritted his teeth, cursing the situation he was in. He pressed harder against her causing her to step back and he followed. His mind whirling with his hatred for Sigrun, with the torture of being a royal. He wanted to break the crown that was constantly above his head, being told over and over again how he must act, how he must be. He was to be king one day and he could not be with a common woman. He could not have a choice with whom he married.

Clarin felt her back hit the decorative wood at the foot of the bed. She moved her hands to Fili’s chest, to push him back but then he was kissing her, his tongue filling her mouth. His hands left her face, arms circling around her and pulling her close. He made a sound in the back of his throat akin to a whimper, then… he was pulling away. Dark eyes met blue.

Silence pulled between them, trying to understand each other with just their eyes. 

Something seemed to click, the message coming across. It was not said, but felt. “I will settle for no other.”

Clarin lowered her gaze and nodded. Fili placed a small kiss to her forehead, letting it linger. The beads to his mustache cold against Clarin’s cheeks.

Then he was gone, out of the room leaving behind a void of cold where his warmth once was.

Kili moved from the door, rolling from the shoulder he was up leaning on to his back and onto the wall beside the door frame. He folded his arms over his chest, swallowing hard as he looked up at the ceiling. When they had grown quiet it left him with a lot to think about. He had known others had struggled, they always have, they were dwarves. But he didn’t think about how badly it could have gotten. He wasn’t an idiot, if that happened to Clarin then other girls were raped just so Smaug would not come to take the virgins to eat. Others had their lands stolen out from under them because of nobility that were accustomed to wealth and power. 

The door opened, closing with a sharp cracking as Fili shook.

Kili looked at his brother through the corner of his eye. The blond was shaking, he was red in the face and his blue eyes darted around, not fixing on anything. All the signs of him being angry and about to burst.

“It seems that she’s been hiding things from you too.” Kili let it slip without thinking. Instantly he regretted it, his brother twisting around and bearing his teeth.

“You will _not_ judge her!”

“I wasn’t judging!” He snapped back. “It’s only the truth! She did hide it from you and she has every right to.” His voice died down as he pushed himself off of the wall. “But… but don’t toy with her. I like her and…”

“I know!” Fili’s hands clenched into fists. “I know…”

Kili stepped forward, slowly, carefully, as if approaching a wounded animal, he slid his arms around his brother. He felt Fili stiffen before he rocked from the sudden thrust of his brother pressing against him, clutching onto his coat. He huffed through his nose, resting his cheek on the top of Fili’s head, his hand stroking over his back. 

Being royalty was a terrible thing. They didn’t even have the right to love whom they deemed worthy of their hearts.

\--------------------------

Khelging hefted her mining equipment over her shoulder. Her pocket held a week’s worth of coin and she was determined to use some of it to spoil the dwarf she called sister. It would be a nice surprise for Clarin and possibly even for Fili, as it seemed that everything Clarin did was revolutionary to the blond. It made her laugh inside every time he was surprised with them. They were women of many talents, they had to be. After Ithil and Cithil died at the hands of orcs… and… after what Khelging had to do, they had no means of money. Clarin was quite the survivalist and Khelging was sharp as a knife. Out of the oppression of the Grey Mountains they were happy and slowly she had started to see the smile fade from her adopted sister’s face and Khelging hated it. She had shouldered too much pressure and needed to be cheered up.

“No.” Khelging said sharply as she pointed to the back of the shop. “Cherry wood.”

“But this one is very good.” The salesman tried to argue. “After all hawthorne is a good wood. It’s pleasant in touch and will allow your fingers a rest from waiting on the men in the mines.”

She glared at him. “Waiting on the men? I’m not a servant to fetch water! I’m a miner. Now give me the cherry wood and you will give me a discount for insulting me.”

He opened his mouth only to have a dirt covered hand slam down on the counter. Khelging’s lip pulled back in a snarl, daring the man to challenge her. The dwarf only bowed his head and sold Khelging the item she desired, throwing in a traveling case for it as well.

When she left the shop she was pleased with herself. It wasn’t often she would initiate such controversy but she was done being treated like an idiot, street rat that didn’t know any better. She was a miner, one of the very few in all the White Mountains and soon she’ll be the only one allowed to work in the Glittering Caves, she knew it! She was the best worker in the quarry, got along with her fellow miners, and had an eye for the stone. She had found several fault lines already, making shafts abandoned until repairs could be made, or altering her fellow dwarves of pockets of poisonous gasses before their canaries. Already she had three meetings with the head foreman! Three! Some of the dwarves she worked with have worked their all their lives and only had one meeting or none at all. 

She was pushing for this, her dream. And she would earn enough coin to get some land not far from the mines, a little cottage and seeds and Clarin would be finally happy, just like the way she used to be… before everything was taken away.

Khelging hummed to herself as she found the place Fili had told he to meet him at after work. He did mention about finding a new place to live when he walked her to the quarry early that morning. And she was a bit excited to see what this place would look like. She silently hoped it would have two beds this time, she hated taking up the only mattress. Maybe they would even have enough chairs for everyone to sit around the table together. That would be lovely, to finally share a meal properly.

There was a tap on her shoulder, she turned and smiled at Kili, the smile falling when she saw how sour Fili looked.

“Is… everything well?” Her heart hammered a little hard when she noticed someone was missing from their group. “Where’s Clarin?”

“She’s had a rough day.” Kili answered. “She’s resting, so we were hoping you could help us pick some things out for her, clothing wise.”

“A rough day.” Khelging parroted, looking confused.

“It’s nothing much.” 

Fili sighed. That wasn’t what Khelging meant. “She’s asking for a definition. A troubled time, Khelging.”

“Why?”

“Let’s… just get you and her some clothes.” Fili turned on his heel and started to walk away.

She looked to Kili for an explanation. The prince wanted to say something but it wasn’t his place. So he simply took some of her mining equipment, noticing the new case.

“What’s that?”

“A gift.” Khelging grinned. 

“For me? You shouldn’t have.” Kili teased.

Khelging bumped him with the side of her hip. “Not for you. It’s for Clarin, to be honest I hope it might distract her from her studying.”

“I’m certain she’ll love a distraction.” He said softly as they followed Fili through the thick of the crowd.

She didn’t like the sound of that. She wanted to ask what had happened but she wasn’t sure if she would get an answer nor that she would like it. 

When the little group got to the shop Fili was quick to instruct Khelging to pick out clothing for herself and for Clarin, anything she wanted. She had tried to protest, most things were expensive, but Fili snapped out in a sharp tone. “I don’t care for price, now choose.”

“Fili.” Kili growled under his breath. He stepped up to his brother as Khelging quietly went to do as told. “I understand you’re suffering but you can’t speak to a lady like that.”

The heir rubbed at his temple. Suffering wasn’t close to covering how he felt. He felt spiteful, sick to his stomach, his head was pounding, and a deep grief was biting into him like a hungry wolf. He had thought so many times that he did not want to be heir to a kingdom, only to be gently guided by Thorin and Dis into believing that this was good. That being heir brought him honor, it would bring him happiness as well as all of his people. But for the first time he truly felt the bite of their lies. He couldn’t be happy. How was his people supposed to be happy when he couldn’t even make the one that mattered to him the most smile? How was he supposed to live a life of honor when he had learned how truly harder others had to live their lives while he lived in privaledge? Disgust was like a great snake in his stomach, twisting with its partners of guilt and sorrow.

“You need to apologize to her. Khelging did nothing wrong.”

Fili had enough. He took his coinpurse and shoved it into his brother’s hand. He turned on his heel and stormed off. He heard his name being called by Kili as he pushed through the throng of the crowd. He got himself separated from those who made his mind whirl with terrible thoughts and feelings. He made his way to the only familiar place in this whole, terrible, place. 

The open field was a welcomed sight. The grass was almost as tall as him now, a mixture of gold and grey from time and the hot sun. He held out his hand as he walked, the stalks of seeds slipped along his palm. He swallowed, feeling the breath of wind brushing against his face. A shuddering breath fell from barely parted lips. He needed to calm, to think, to regain his strength and resolve. 

Blue eyes slowly slid shut, the cool wind feeling like a kiss of relief. 

“Mahal.” He whispered. “What do I do?... Please guide this son of Durin.”

\-----------------------------------

Kili was silent, deep in thought as he took Khelging back to the inn. He wasn’t sure what rooms Fili had gotten them and at the moment he didn’t spare it much thought. He wanted to see his brother happy. He wanted this whole mess to go away, but their only hope for that was in a stack of books and in a hobbit that may or may not come to their aid. Even if Bilbo could help get them out of this situation then how was he to help heal his brother’s broken heart? Fili was stubborn and hard headed. He did not fall in love easily and tortured himself for weeks on end over breaking up with a girl. 

He didn’t like what he had to do. He liked Clarin, adored her, adored Khelging too, but things had to be made clear and he had to protect his brother.

When they got to the inn, he told Khelging to wait for him in the adjoining tavern and for her to order whatever she wanted. 

“Why do I have to wait?” She asked, putting down her pick axe and sack of clothing from their perch on her shoulder.

He grappled for an answer that wouldn’t give away the private matter. “No special reason, only thought you would like to eat while we wait for Fili and I’ll fetch Clarin.”

Khelging narrowed her eyes on him, seeing the half truth. She nodded slowly, dipping down to pick up her things once more. She was certainly going to speak with her sister on this matter. She would tell her the truth and not beat around the bush like Kili was.

Kili climbed the stairs, up and up, each step made his feet feel a little bit heavier. Each move forward seemed to take a bit more time. 

Eventually he was in front of the door to Clarin’s room. He hesitated. Was this really going to help or only make things worse?

“C-clarin?” He asked while he knocked on the door.

“What?” Came a gruff reply, from the sound, shouted from across the room.

Kili licked his lips. Maybe this was a bad idea…

“By the great forge open the door!”

She was… very upset. He gritted his teeth, grabbed the door knob and slowly twisted it, letting himself in. He peeked around the edge of the door, ready to make a run for it if something came flying in his direction. He still remembered his mother’s habit of throwing breakables when she was angry. It didn’t happen often, but each time was rather memorable. But there was Clarin, hunched over the large table in the room, books and scrolls splayed out.

“How… uh, how are you doing?” He instantly reprimanded himself when she shot him a heated glare, one of her eyes was bloodshot from having her palm ground into it.

“I’m not a pleasure to be around at the moment.” She warned.

“For a good reason.” He closed the door behind him. “And it’s that reason I need to talk to you.” He licked his lips, mouth suddenly feeling dry. “I need you to understand something.”

“You don’t want your brother to be with a whore. I understand.” Her nose crinkled in a sniffle as she went back to reading. 

“Don’t call yourself that.”

“I am what I am. You can’t call a cat a bird when it coughs up feathers, it’s still a cat.”

“And deeds do not define who you are!”

“Yes they do! How else do you build yourself?!”

“Deeds you choose to do not ones you’re forced to!!” Kili walked across the room, slamming his palm against the table. “And everything you have done for my brother shows you’re a good dwarf, far better than most! By Mahal’s hammer you just had a fight with Fili and I find you still trying to help!”

“Kili,” She rubbed at her eye again, a strange habit to do when she was upset. “Why are you here?”

“I told you,” his voice softened. “I need you to understand some things.” He pulled up a chair, sitting down. “We didn’t grow up as royalty, it was nothing but a possibility of it, we lived no different than common dwarves only with a few more privileges because of our bloodline. I’m not saying we had it hard, we had a good life, but… we always dreamed of having a normal life. Marrying a lass and settling down in our own little huts. When we came of age that was suddenly stripped from us and we were being groomed to inherit a kingdom.”

She gave a tired sigh. “I don’t hate him, if that is what you are worried about.”

“No, Clarin… I don’t think you ever could.” He reached over and took her hands, pulling so she faced him fully from where she sat. He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands in a sympathetic gesture. “I know a kindred spirit when I see one. You’re like me, you can’t hate someone, not for long… even if they did a great evil unto us… like your mother and father.”

Her eyes turned down to the floor. “He told you?”

“No, you shouted it pretty loudly. Fili would never tell something like that to others, he’s very good at keeping secrets… and he’s very good at suffering in silence.” He lifted a hand and tucked a lock of hair behind Clarin’s ear. “He can’t be with you, not by choice but because of his station. He cares for you, I know it, but… don’t allow him to fall in love with you. For both of your sakes, don’t let him. Be his friend, be his sister, but not his lover.”

Clarin didn’t come down to eat that night and Fili did not come back.


	12. dear dad

Thorin pulled the papers over his lectern. His pony was slow in riding as the heat grew the farther south he traveled. Balin rode beside him, his own lectern decorated with different legal things. Balin handed Thorin another scroll that needed his seal of approval that he glanced over before taking his stamp and ink and put his mark down, handing it back. They had brought much of their work with them as there were still much to address in the rebuilding of Erebor. Because of how much gold they had every kingdom seemed to want to be their best friends, asking for assistance, asking for more and more coin while offering little in return. What was worse was the fact that it seemed to be near impossible to gather together the different settlements of the old dwarven kingdom. The Ironhills were the first to come back to the kingdom, second the Ered Luin, but the White Mountains still would not give their stone, nor the Grey Mountains their fields, not without incentive, not without pay.

“They’re requesting more gold.” Balin sighed as he looked at another missive from the Grey Mountains. 

“They only request more because if they request enough they know they will see an opening for marriage for trade agreements.” Thorin snorted. “Sickening behavior, all of it.”

“And yet you are selling off your heir.” Balin huffed.

“I did not send him away because I wished to!” Thorin’s lip pulled back. “I do not enjoy these duties of kingship, but it is our blood that must remain on the throne. You know better than most, Balin, we are tied. I do not pride myself on what I must do to my kin for the better of our people.”

“...Do not send Kili…”

“I will try, but Erebor needs food, the most fertile lands are in Ered Mithrin.”

“You are king, you do not have to bow to nobles.”

“I must bow to all if I am to have a kingdom, Balin. I have no choice.”

\---------------------------------------

Fili sat in the field. The stars had come and gone, his eyes would either be turned up to the sky or fixed on the grass. He left his mind open and empty in hopes that something, anything would come to him, be some guiding force. He needed help, he didn’t know what to do, who to rely on in this matter. Kili would try but he was just as bound as himself. 

It was in the growing heat of the morning that he broke. He pulled his knees up, wrapping an arm around his legs while he pressed a palm to his forehead. His fingers bunched in golden hair as he choked on his breath. His eyes stung, his throat tickling with the need to gasp and cry.

He took in a sharp intake of breath. He the heat of tears, saw the blurring of his vision. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, as a choked whimper escaped his throat. His heart hammered against his chest as he felt so cornered and he could not fight back. He had prayed to the gods all night to get nothing in return, he had one last plea to thrust into the air.

“D-dad.” He pushed his face against his knees, his hand flexing in his hair to mimic stroking. “Daddy, what do I do?” He took in a trembling breath and let a sob escape. “Please… please help me.”

He took in another heaving breath, then another, trying hard to keep from losing himself completely. All it managed to achieve was breaking him further. The tears wouldn’t stop as he had to deal with the fact that he had fallen in love with someone he could never be with. It left such a misery inside, making him feel cold despite the growing heat of the day.

A shadow fell over him. He stiffened, silencing his voice. He didn’t want to be around anyone, not right now. Not his brother, not Khelging, least of all Clarin. He heard the person shuffle and grunt as the sat down next to him, the voice old. He could feel them adjust themselves beside him before clearing their throat.

“Now, I won’t be asking what has you out here, in the state that you are in but I do have a few guesses as to why.”

Fili’s head shot up, red rimmed eyes wide, mouth slacked. The man beside him smiled, and held out an arm in a welcoming gesture. “I’ve been looking all over for you since I got here. Come here, lad.”

“Dori… What are you doing here?”

Dori leaned over and wrapped his arm around Fili, pulling him close and hugging him, the same gesture the prince had seen the fussy dwarf do with Ori countless times. He leaned his head into the comfort of the other dwarf, shifting closer, taking in the familiarity and comfort of the older man.

The gray haired dwarf sighed. “It seems you caused a ruckus with your intended. Running off as you had. Her father sent word-”

Fili looked up quickly, dread filling him. “No.”

The other nodded, “I’m afraid so. I was sent as Thorin’s personal messenger to tell that he’s on his way.”

“No, no! If he comes then he will make me marry Sigrun!”

 

“That was the plan to begin with. For you to marry her for the stone within the belly of this mountain.”

“You don’t understand, I can’t marry her!”

“You have to.”

“I won’t!” He shot to his feet. “I will not be forced to marry a woman that I do not love! I will not bed another and betray Clarin in such a way!!”

“Clarin? Who is Clarin?” Dori was slowly getting up, he waved a hand at Fili who reached down and helped him up. He grunted as he got fully up. He dusted himself off.

“The woman I love.” 

Fili felt his heart skip a beat at the admittance. He had been denying it, pushing it to the side or stomping it down. He had been plagued by his situation, refusing to see his growing affection to the woman. He had known her for a while now, she had become the pillar in which that held him up. In the mornings, in that quiet little room above the haberdashery, he had looked forward to seeing her messy morning hair. Hear her grumpy voice grumble as she sleepily launched herself into her day, even making snide remarks if spoken to too early in the morning. How she would apologize for it later on in the day until he made her stop, knowing it was just the way she was. He had taken for granted her smile, how it settled his worries and he knew everything would be alright, just as long as she smiled. And their kiss…

He pressed a knuckle to his lips, closing his eyes as he remembered it. Soft and worrisome, upset, heartbroken, yet it held a sort of perfection. A wonderful thing that flickered in his chest like a candle in the window. Hope. Love. Happiness.

“Fili? Are you listening to me?” Dori’s voice cut through the prince’s thoughts. “I said, you need to stop this foolishness.”

“I believe you’re right.” Fili looked up at the sky, silently thanking his father for the help. 

Then he spun on his heel and with a long stride, headed back into town with Dori following behind.

\-------------------------------

Kili wasn’t sure what he had done but he was certain that if he lowered his arms he was going to get slugged in the face. Khelging was beyond livid. She was so angry he was certain her spit would burn if it landed on him as she screamed in a language he didn’t know. His back was up against the wall as the woman’s breath battered against his sleeves like a storm. He could barely hear Clarin shouting something in that strange language as well. He peeked between his arms to see Clarin trying to pull back the strong miner. 

All he knew was that they spent the night in Clarin’s room, and Khelging had asked over breakfast why her sister was so sad. Clarin only told the truth, said that Fili and Kili were the princes of Erebor. The room went quiet and then Khelging was nothing but venom and fire.

“He doesn’t understand you!” Clarin yelled again, repeating it in that foreign tongue over and over again.

Khelging yanked her shoulders free from Clarin’s grip only to have the farm girl step between them, pushing Khelging back. She was saying calming words that Kili didn’t understand, hands being batted away with hissed replies.

_“They are no better than the nobles that took everything from us!” Khelging ground out. “Do you forget what they did to us?! To your family, to mine?!”_

_“They didn’t do that! They didn’t grow up in Erebor! They have nothing to do with this!”_

Khelging shoved a hand towards Kili, voice raising to a scream. _“They were raised by the same arrogant asshole who forced my family to travel through orc territory! It was their blood that took my sister and brother from me, my mother and father! It is their blood that taught those nobles it was acceptable to take and taken until everyone was left to die because they needed **privileges**?!”_

_“You can’t blame them for that!”_

Khelging shoved Clarin to the side, advancing on Kili only to be stopped short by Clarin grabbing her arm. She had to make it an effort to speak in common, her tongue feeling thick from being so angry. “How it feel to take?! Pull food from mouth with no work?!”

Kili felt his insides tremble with a deep cold, as if he had been thrown into a lake in the middle of the winter. Khelging was so furious, face twisted in rage. He didn’t know why she was so upset with him, why she was accusing him of taking from others what he had not earned. It rubbed him the wrong way, igniting his own temper that had been building over the whole of this whole messed up situation. People had a misconception of what royalty had. They had less rights than anyone else, they had to keep countless subjects happy at the risk of being exiled or even executed. Food, cloth, land, riches, it was governed by the royals but it was not a pleasing job, they could never be happy with the constant threat of a riot and knowing their lives were on the line but not just theirs but the whole of their family.

“I have never taken anything I have not earned!” Kili shouted back. 

“Ha!” Khelging nearly spat on the floor with disgust. “Nobility never earn, only take, get fat like pig!! Always coward, like brother who will not stand up for woman.”

That was it. He had enough. She could insult him all she wanted but soon as she said that Fili was too cowardice to stand up for the woman he loved, he couldn’t let that slide. He reeled back his fist and let it fly. His knuckles connected with Khelging’s cheek making her head snap back. She stumbled a few steps before looking up at Kili. Her hand came to her cheek, touching the tender skin.

“No one insults my brother.” Kili growled.

“No one dishonors sister.” Khelging barked before springing forward.

Her fist was small, but her punches were hard from hard muscles earned from the heavy work down in the mines. 

“Khelging! Kili! Stop!!” Clarin shouted not too sure how to intervene. 

She got him in the ribs before Kili ducked down and slammed forward catching her in the chest with his shoulder. They collided to the floor, Khelging brought up her knee hitting Kili in the side.

“Stop!!”

Clarin’s voice was lost on the two as the scrambled to try to get the upper hand. Punching and kicking, lips splitting, cheeks bruising. Khelging managed to get a blow between Kili’s legs which he returned with a punch to her hip that caused her to scream. 

Suddenly they were both grabbed by their hair, heads colliding making the two see a flash of stars in their vision.

“I told you to fucking stop!” Clarin yelled down at the two, fingers twisted in their hair. “We already have enough trouble without the two of you flying into a rage!! Now the two of you are going to shake hands and put this behind you.”

She gave a hard shake to their hair showing she wanted them to stand up before letting go.

The two slowly got up to their feet, Kili rubbing the blood from his nose with his wrist before reluctantly holding out his hand. Khelging licked her split lip, looking down at the offered hand before very slowly taking it and giving an agreement shake. They shared a heated look.

This isn’t over, Khelging’s eyes said.

Any time, Kili’s replied.


	13. a little better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Draconizuka for more beautiful fanart!
> 
> Kili and Khelging facing off!!  
> 

Kili was angry. Not just angry, he was furious. Khelging treated him completely differently now, always mumbled insults when she saw him, tried to keep him away from Clarin to the point he couldn’t help her in her research which was ludicrous. Fili had yet to return, he had to ask where his room was or end up sleeping on Clarin’s floor… which was a lie, Clarin would sleep on the floor while he slept on the bed and it was annoying that she would give up her own bed like that.

Now he sat on the bed that didn’t have bolts of cloth laying on it. He was staring at the cloth, wondering what his brother would want with those. It was his only distraction from his negative thoughts and all he could draw up was blank. He hated it that he had to deal with this alone. He wasn’t a delegate, he was terrible at dealing with someone’s anger. He was used to ducking his head and taking the brunt of it thanks to Thorin’s alpha dog personality. But now that he was on his own he was caught between putting his head down or letting his temper flare to life. He felt bad for getting into a physical fight with Khelging but he was done with all the bad mouthing toward Fili and how he should and should not act. They were living creatures! They deserved respect. They reclaimed the last damn kingdom of the dwarves! The least they could get was some respect from their own kind!!

He kicked his foot out, his heel slamming into the nightstand beside him. He hated this! No matter what good came their way worse things than before always followed!

The door to his room opened, the familiar form of his brother coming in. His arms were filled with more bolts of cloth, his eyes wide.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, seeing his brother’s dark expression.

“Alright? Alright?!” Kili shot to his feet, storming up to his brother. “You break Clarin’s heart, run off to Mahal know’s where, Khelging’s being a bitch, and you come back asking if everything is alright?!”

Fili frowned moving further into the room, putting the bolts of cloth down on his bed. “What happened while I was away?”

“Apparently Khelging has this idea that we do nothing and gain only privileges, she’s just shy of saying we’re highwaymen raping and pillaging! I can’t even get close enough to Clarin to help her because Khelging’s like a watch dog!” Kili huffed a breath as Fili seemed rather unaffected by all of this as he went through the clothes for different colors. “What are you doing? Are you even listening?”

“Of course I am. Khelging is a strong woman, she’ll calm eventually and we’ll be able to speak to her and understand why she is so angry. In the mean time I have to make a gift.”

“A gift.” Kili repeated. He couldn’t believe this. “A gift for who?”

“My intended.”

“For… no. Fili you’re not going to marry Sigrun. You said yourself that she is nothing but selfishness.”

“Sigrun is not my intended.” Fili said with a hard voice showing he would never see her as such. “My intended is the one Mahal crafted for me, not one someone else has chosen for me.”

“Then- Are you sure this is wise?”

“No.” Fili pulled up a rich blue color that he requested, that color only royals were allowed to wear. He was going to make sure no one could mistake his claim. “But I do have a plan. If I make it public that Clarin is of my choosing, when Thorin comes he will have little choice, be publicly humiliated by forcing me to marry Sigrun, or drop the arrangement.”

“That’s risky… I didn’t know he was coming. When will he arrive?”

Fili looked up to his brother. “I met Dori, he was sent as Thorin’s messenger to say that he was coming, when, I’m not sure, a few months of travel, perhaps less. All I ask is that you stay by my side when the time comes.”

“You know you don’t have to ask, I will always stand by your side brother. But I must ask again… are you sure of this?”

Blue eyes met brown. The blond’s heart pounded in his breast, hurting with a terrible pain at the pain that threatened to overcome him if his brother did not support him fully. “Tell me, Kili, if you came upon a lass who’s smile eased your heart, the touch of her hand upon your arm feels warmer than a spring’s kiss, she makes you laugh, takes down all your walls that kept all the hurt out only to build them back up to be better than they ever had been, could you turn from her? Could you turn your back on that lass who soothed a balm over your bleeding heart and shoulder the weight of our crushing world?”

Kili closed his eyes, trying to think of a time he could use to relate to Fili’s words. The only time he had was with the elf but even that was misplaced affection. He had fooled himself, placed his heart in confused hands that dropped it to the ground. And it was his brother that kept him together, it was Thorin that he leaned against and cried like a small lad until the pain of a broken heart faded. So he asked himself Fili’s words, let them repeat over and over again. 

“No… I wouldn’t be able to.”

“That’s because it’s love, Kili.” Fili looked back to the cloth in his hands. His voice going soft, “And it is very hard to discover what it truly is as it disguises itself.”

“But I have a question for you.” Kili put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Could she turn her back on you?”

Fili’s temper wanted to raise from that. He wanted to whip around and yell at his brother for such an allegation, but he knew that Kili asked from experience. Love was shared, not hoarded by one and taken from the other. Clarin could leave at any time. Run from him and left him a broken man. 

“She had the chance to, several times.” He could still remember the bruises on her face, her swollen lips from being struck, the welts on arms and legs from being struck with bridals and leather straps from the stable master she had worked for. And how pathetic he felt for not being able to protect her because she insisted he did not go and teach that filthy dwarf a lesson. “She never did.”

“Then let me help you.” Kili picked up some silver thread. “You are terrible at embroidery.”

\----------------------------------------------

“What would Ithil say?!” Khelging was still in a rage. Anything would upset her now, her dark memories trudged up and boiling in a tar like blackness that stuck to her insides. She stormed around Clarin’s room as the other dwarf tried to concentrate. “What about Cithil?!”

Clarin slammed her book shut at the mentioning of her brothers. “Leave.”

Khelging felt the weight of her angery high being pulled down. “I… I’m sorry.”

“You need to leave.”

“Clarin, I-”

“LEAVE!!”

Khelging jerked at the shout. She hung her head, her feet and hands feeling heavy as she left the room. Some times she didn’t think about what was coming out of her mouth. It was usually something that could be brushed aside, but she had to admit she did something wrong just then. Ithil and Cithil… She shouldn’t have mentioned them. 

She went down to her room where her things were, the present for her sister sat on her bed along with her bag. She sat on the edge of the bed, a pressure building in her lungs. Now that her anger was gone it left that sticky blackness inside. She felt it crawling up and up, heating her eyes until she was crying, her face in her hands. She did not realize she was letting out sorrowful wails until the bed dipped down next to her. She looked up, startled. The door to her room was open, Fili and Kili had come in when they had heard her crying. Kili stood in front of her, Fili sitting beside. Fili’s warm arm went around her shoulders, hugging gently. Kili knelt in front of her, taking her fingers into his hands. He smiled a little up at her, not sure if his smile nor his touch would be welcome.

She trembled as another sob pushed through her lips. She bowed her head, allowing herself to cry, finally realizing that she wasn’t angry at the nobles, she was terrified of them. So scared that they would take what little she had left. She had just started to realize her dream of being a miner, of starting to earn good coin so she could take care of her sister for once. 

“Please,” she spoke through tears and a runny nose. Her speech slurring from her distress. “Please, no take sister.” She looked up shaking her head and looking at Fili. “No hurt, please no hurt.”

Fili took out his handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped at Khelging’s face. “We’re not going to take her away from you. We won’t let her get hurt, I promise.”

“I promise too.” Kili rubbed his thumbs over the back of Khelging’s hands. “...Khelging, I’m… I’m sorry for our fight.”

“I sorry too.” She leaned over and kissed Kili’s forehead. “Good boy, like Cithil.”

“Cithil? Who is that?” Fili asked softly.

“Clarin’s brothers, Ithil, Cithil.”

The room fell silent. Fili and Kili wanted to know more, they wanted to help their friend but they didn’t know much on how comfort worked towards a woman. Like any man they panicked when they heard her crying, it took a bit of pushing and shoving and sharp words from both of them to get each other out the door and across the hall. But Khelging was calming down now, which they were thankful for.

“Should get dinner.”

“I’ll get Clarin.” Fili got up, leaving his handkerchief with Khelging. “I think we should all eat together for once.”

Khelging nodded. Kili watched Fili get up and leave the room before he got up and went to sit next to Khelging. 

“I-I not mean it. The bad I said.” She took a deep shuddering breath, trying to choose her words in common to make a fully sentence. “.......... You are not to blame for things you did not do.”

“I’m sorry I punched you.”

Her lips twitched a little into a smile. “You punch like a kitten.”

“You are a miner, you have rocks punching you every day. So… the fact that you felt anything I will take as a compliment for my strength.”

\-----------------------------------------------

Fili pressed his palm against the wood of the door that lead to Clarin’s room. He tested the knob to see if it was locked. It clicked open, he stepped in with a soft call of her name as he stepped in. His breath caught in his throat seeing her dressed in a light blue dress with loose sleeves. Her hair was piled up in twists and braids, beautifully clean and pinned so she could read in peace without her hair falling into her face. She looked so beautiful, so perfect.

She hesitated to look to him though, she cleared her throat, standing up and smoothing her hands over her skirts.

“You’ve been gone a while. Has Kili and Khelging crossed your path yet?”

He shook his head getting himself to think once more and speak, trying hard not to look at her lips. “Y-yes, I’ve talked to both of them, things are being sorted out.”

“Good, very good.” Clarin turned from Fili, fingertips falling onto an open book. “I… I haven’t been able to find much more on what I’ve told you and Kili about I’m afraid. Not in this short amount of time. And-”

“Clarin.”

“Yes?”

Fili was so close again. Neither had noticed when he came closer but now he was so close, he could easily rest his hands on her hips if he just moved a little. His fingers twitched. His mouth opening, head tilting to the side just a fraction. He wanted to ask for a kiss. He wanted to see her smile, to hold her close.

“You look lovely.”

“Th-thank you.” Her cheeks reddened, fingers brushing a curly lock of dark hair behind her ear. “I.. I wanted to thank you for letting Khelging and I get clothing. It’s very nice to wear something without holes.”

“I owe you more than clothing.” He started to reach up to touch her cheek before pulling his hand away and hooking his thumb into his belt. He cleared his throat taking a step back. “Kili and Khelging are getting hungry, would you like to join us?”

Clarin looked back at the book, her teeth worrying over her bottom lip. Arms wrapped around her waist pulling her away with exaggerated steps making her smile.

“Come on,” Fili made his voice sound exasperated. “You need to eat.”

“Alright, alright.” She pulled from his grip. She hesitated before looking him in the eye. “Fili?”

“I’m hungry.”

Fili grinned. “So am I.”


	14. a painful past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is to explain a bit of the past with Khelging and Clarin.
> 
> There is rape, if you cannot handle this, and this is a trigger for you, please do skip the last portion of the chapter.

Several days had passed since the incident in the market. Sigrun was positive that the blond dward had been Fili, there was no mistaking that hair no matter what that gutter rat said. Which lead her to start be put her ear to the ground and listen to what people had to say about a certain golden haired dwarf. The haberdashery had been selling a lot of good items, their best buttons, cloak clasps, beads, even sold out of many of their most expensive and highest quality of thread. The cloth shop had been selling a lot, with special dyes that many were not allowed to wear except for those intended for highest of nobility and some even requested that were spreading rumors that a prince was amongst them and preparing to purpose to one of the noble ladies. This was good for the White Mountains, this would bring in more respect, bring in more attention from other kingdoms and raise their economy. But what kind of amazed Sigrun was the stupidity of people. She had been calling Fili, Prince Fili, since he came and still most of the city did not know who he was nor that he was even there. Which gave her confused feelings. Her father was constantly reassuring her that all would come out to her benefit, that one day she would be queen and she would be treated the way she should always be treated. Then there was the nagging in the back of her mind that Fili might actually not like her. She had no idea why, but what if he didn’t like her? What if he was going to purpose to another noble woman? There were only a few in the White Mountains and she was starting to get scared that he had found interest in another one. If that happened then she would never have her goal achieved. She wouldn’t get what she deserved. 

So she stretched out her reach, reigning in as much information as she could gather. She got back the same information as before. That stable hand bitch and the miner, Fili was around them and most definitely that brunet was his brother, Kili. It could be Kili who is going to marry another, but that wouldn’t make much sense. But now she had descriptions of the girls, met one even, she even had their names. She could cut them at the knees so they had no hope of raising higher than where they were now. And she would do it, with perverse glee.

She was a noble after all, she knew how to protect her assets. 

She easily met with a few miners, whispering into their ears if they needed extra coin. Most turned her down but a few took the offered purses, being told instructions on what to do if she ever gave the word. She found a few unsavory men that did the same and they waited. All they needed was a wave of her hand and the girls would be dealt with. Unimportant little scamps that would disappear in the river of time. Fili would feel bad, she was certain of it, but she would nurse him, show him how vital she was to him. He would never know the better.

\--------------------

“You need to sleep.”

“No, No I’m fine.” Clarin wiped at her lips as she felt a churning in her stomach once more and threw up clear bile into a bucket.

“You are not fine.” Fili held back her hair. He had finished the gift he wanted to make for her not long ago. He had spent so much time with Kili on finishing his own project that he had not spent much time with Clarin. Now he was regretting that decision as the woman had forgon sleep for several days, forgotten to eat on several occasions, had been only surviving on sips of water and was now throwing up from exhaustion. “The first thing we are going to do is get more water into you, then some food, then you are sleeping. Kili and I will take over researching.”

A wave of pain made Clarin heave once more, spitting up the last of the bile. She nodded with a pathetic mewl of agreement.

When she was no longer sick, he handed her a cup of water to sip.

“Stay here.”

He rushed down stairs, stopping at his room where Kili was sewing and asked him to watch over Clarin. He made it down to the tavern part of the inn, ordering some bread and cheese. He thought about it for a bit before he told that he would be right back, rushed outside to the markets to a fruit vendor. He bought a few fruits that he pocketed and ran back to the inn. He got the bread and cheese and a pitcher of cold water that he took upstairs. He was pleased that Kili had managed to wrestle Clarin into her bed. 

“Here we go.” He poured into a cup the cool water, putting the plate of food next to her bed. He fished out the fruits he had in his pockets. “Sit her up, she needs to eat.”

Kili easily pulled her up and she leaned against him, looking pale and a bit sickly due to her current starved condition. The brothers kept her sitting up, both settled on either side of her as they fed her little bits of bread, cheese, and fruit. Fili rested his hand on her hip, squeezing her to his side. Kili talked, encouraging her to eat when she tried to refuse. Fili sips of water until the cup was empty and a second one was half gone. Their voices died down to a whisper as her eyes drew to a close and she was fully asleep, leaning heavily against Fili.

He laid her down, tucking some hair out of her face and behind her ear. Kili getting up and looking over the piles of books.

“Which ones do you think she hasn’t looked at?” He hushed.

“Possibly the ones on the floor. She’s been stacking a lot in the corner of the table.” He looked down to Clarin, hesitating.

Kili smiled a little. “Stay with her, make sure she sleep.” He picked up a few books to take with him. “I’ll go to our room and read for a spell.”

“Thank you.” Fili smiled as Kili slipped out.

Fili took off his shoes and his outer tunic. He pushed Clarin over to the side, careful to not jar her too much. He tucked her skirt under her legs before slipping onto the bed next to her. Laying on his side he watched her sleep, propping up his head on his arm, his other hand finding one of hers to thread their fingers together. He would watch her, make sure she rested.

\-----------------------  
30 years ago  
\-----------------------

“I don’t like you wonderin’ around at night.” The dwarven lad said sternly, hair as black as pitch, eyes brown as freshly tilled, sun kissed, soil. His hair done in braids on the left side of his head, the right side had all of his hair swooping to the left. Beside him was another that looked just like him, the only difference was this one wore his braids to the right, and had three freckles, one on the tip of his nose, one under his right eye and the other above his right eyebrow.

“No good comes of it.” The other said with only a slightly deeper voice.

“I have to.” Clarin put down a bowl of meager food onto the table, only two rabbits that were caught by the lads, some bread and fruit that Khelging had stolen from someone’s crops when they were not looking.

“We can do other things, to earn money.” The left braid said.

“No, Ithil, I won’t have you risk yourself in those mountains. There are too many orcs, all stirred up because of that cursed dragon.” Clarin sat across from them with a thump, she hissed, pressing a hand to her aching belly. Her last client was a cruel one having made her bleed.

The twins looked to each other, deep frowns. They held a conversation between them, unspoken. They didn’t like this. They knew that this way of life was not of their sister’s choosing, they knew that they could find jobs, and work them hard, make sure she would never have to spread her legs for coin again.

“Eat.” She said softly, taking a small chunk of bread.

“You need to eat more than that.” Ithil tore off more bread from the loaf they had to share and handed it to her.

“No,” She said around a mouth of bread. “If I eat more I risk carrying one of those bastards sons.”

“You’re skin and bone.” Cithil hissed. “If you don’t eat you’ll die as well. Do not think we can’t see the skin sticking to your ribs.”

“And don’t take me for a fool.” She shot out at her brother. “You need to be strong enough for your hunts, it’s the only source of meat we have and I will not allow mother to put Khelging behind a shed without clothing for men to sniff out. You know she will do it if she believes we are in need of coin.”

Cithil swallowed. Ithil growled before slamming his fist onto the table. “That cursed dragon, these cursed nobles!! It’s all their fault! All the fault of that damn greedy king too, gatherin’ all that wealth, attractin’ Smaug the Terrible!”

Clarin pressed her hand over her belly as a pain pulled harder at her insides. Her own temper raising. “Calm. down.”

“I will not calm down!” Ithil stood up. “If it wasn’t for the source of this problem we would still be farmers, the best around!! Children of Blacklock we were! Now we’re two sorry excuses of men that can’t even protect their own sister from their own crazed mother! I say curse ‘em!!”

“Ithil, enough!!”

“Curse ‘em.” Cithil looked at his sister from across the table. His features etched in grim lines. “Curse ‘em and all his sons.”

Clarin opened her mouth only to hear a sharp scream coming from outside. The voice familiar. The three siblings looked at each other, quickly scrambling outside into the night. They quickly followed the sounds of a struggle down a slope to a grove of trees. Khelging was struggling against a farmer, arms filled with fruits and vegetables. 

“Think you can be stealing from me?!” His hand cracked down on her face hard enough for white spots to flash across her vision. “You steal from me and you steal from the lord of this land!!” He hit her harder making her scream. “And I’m not going to take the punishment for my crops coming up short!!”

He went to hit her again only to be tackled to the ground. He threw out a fist hitting his attacker in the cheek. Ithil grunted from the hit. He raised up his fist and plowed it down into the dwarf’s face.

“Think you can hit a little girl and get away with it?!” He punched the farmer again and again and again.

Cithil grabbed the back of his twin’s coat and pulled him off of the man. “Enough, you’re going to crack his skull if you continue.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Ithil spat on the farmer. “He’s working on _our_ lands. Doesn’t even know how to work the soil, can’t trim a tree, can’t even cut a pig right.” He kicked the ground throwing up dirt at the farmer. “Pathetic.”

“Ithil, let’s just go home.” Clarin said as she held onto Khelging’s shoulders, Khelging was smaller than the rest of them, having not reached her final growth spurt yet, barely into her fifties.

It took some coxing but they got the hot tempered dwarf to leave with them back to their cabin where Khelging put down the food that was still in her arms. The twins fussed over her, stroking her hair and looking at her bruises. They knew very little of her language but said what they could, encouraging her to talk to them. Clarin had to help translate a few times gathering that Khelging had tried to help get more food, she had not expected to get caught as she never had before. She had not meant to cause trouble but she knew they were all so hungry.

The boys hugged her between them, telling her how much they appreciated her and how they didn’t want her to be by herself any longer. One would always accompany her from now on. They were worried about her safety now that one farmer could accuse her of being a thief. It would bring a lot of troubles their way but they would handle it. After they ate they gathered in a corner of the room where there was a soft pile of straw covered with a thread bear blanket. Ithil and Cithil kept Khelging between them while Clarin cleaned up.

It was barely the break of dawn, the sun not yet peeking over the mountains but the rays coloring the grey sky with a little light, when Clarin was awoken. Course ropes wrapped around her wrists, pulling hard and tight. She jerked awake finding her mother over her, hair wild as a raging fire. She was mumbling to herself, “Can’t do nothin’ right. Raised a bitch, I did. Takin’ in rats that twitch and eat, twitch and eat.”

“M-mama?” She swallowed hard, testing out the ropes, fear blossoming in her chest. “Mama, what are you doing?”

“Can’t make it right, I’ll make it right.”

“Mama?”

A hard, boney hand grabbed the back of Clarin’s neck, her bindings taken hold of and she was violently pulled up with surprising strength.

“No, no mama!!” She kicked out her legs, as the front door was kicked open. 

The ruckus woke up Khelging, the twins remained asleep. They had always been hard to wake in the mornings as they were heavy sleepers. She started to shake Cithil’s side, yelling at him in her native language to wake up.

Clarin was yanked down the slope to the grove of fruit trees. The farmer from last night was standing there with a few others that shared the lands, his face was red, an eye swollen purple and shiny. She felt a cold dread wash over her, like falling through ice into a frozen lake. 

“No, no!!!” She struggled only to cuffed upside the head so hard she staggered.

“Bitch of a thief!” Her mother hissed. Taking the rope and pulling it to a tree, tying it tight. “Taking food without proper coin!”

Clarin shook her head as she fell to her knees, arms stretched around the tree trunk she was tried to. The back of her bodice was yanked and pulled, a dull knife cutting at the strings. It fell to the ground before her mother grabbed at her moth eaten dress and yanked on the material making it tear and fall in curtained shreds.

“Pay for the goods she took from you, all proper with her body.” Her mother stepped to the side, smacking her ass and grabbing a handful of flesh. “Don’t hold back, she can take a good beatin’.”

“Mama, no! Please Mama!!”

But her pleas fell on deaf ears as a hard prick was shoved violently into her. She screamed through the pain as the dwarf bucked in painfully hard angles. She felt a hand tangle in her hair, grabbing hard and yanking her head back as she was humped like an animal. Insults of “whore”, “filthy bitch”, and more were growled out into her ear. Her head was hit against the tree trunk grinding bits of bark into her skin.

“Stop cryin’!!” Her mother stood up from where she had been sitting and smoking a pipe as she watched her daughter get raped.

She raised up her hand to hit Clarin when something thumped into her back. She staggered for a bit, a few heart beats before pain shocked through her system throughout her back. Her arms shook as a scream started to build and got louder and louder from the woman. She stumbled and fell to her knees causing the man moving in Clarin to stop and the others to look up. Khelging stood there, trembling, completely afraid as she pulled out a boot knife.

“A-away!!” She screamed, making a slashing motion at the man who was still balls deep in Clarin.

He saw two other figures rushing down the hill, the brothers that had beaten him up last night. He slowly pulled out, his cock had slicks of blood on it. He put up his hands taking a step back as he watched the lass step on the back of the woman who was howling in pain and pull a hatchet out of her. Blood gushed forward, coating her worn down boot.

She looked up at Clarin, seeing how she was crying, tied to a tree, blood trickling down her thighs. Khelging whimpered, her bottom lip scrunching up and quivering. Seeing the girl who found her ten years ago, like this. The very one that wrapped her in warm blankets and stroked her hair, fed her good food and comforted her while she was so scared after seeing her family slaughtered by orcs. This was her sister, rapped and beaten, all because of that dragon! Of the nobles, of the woman under her shoe that went insane after losing one daughter and a husband! 

Rage and grief mingled heavily. She raised the hatchet up high over her head and plunged it down. The blade cracked into skull and was pulled out to come down again and again, red bits and chunks came flying out, fanning into the air and splattering on Clarin as she screamed.

When Ithil and Cithil came down they had seen the first chop that Khelging gave to their mother. They were shocked, horrified. They watched as their mother was murdered in front of them. When Khelging was done she was panting, stumbling off of the twitching body, her knife coming to the bindings of Clarin’s. Ithil felt the heaviness of his axe in his hand. His eyes following Khelging to his sister, then he took in her nakedness, the blood between her thighs. He looked over to the startled dwarves that had witnessed this murder, the one with his prick out, hanging loose and slicked with blood. His fingers tightened around the handle of his axe, knuckles going white.

There was a fluttering sound, almost like wings as Cithil moved quickly, his thoughts just the same as his twins. Cithil threw his axe, it flew through the air, the heavy sound of metal upon flash was loud as his axe hit into the stomach of the farmer. He rushed forward, pulling the axe out with a flick of his wrist before coming down and chopping into the groin of the dwarf that had been raping his sister. 

The others started to run. All Ithil could think was that they all wanted a turn with his sister, so he ran through the grove, his brother following with a bloodied axe, cutting down dwarves as Khelging helped Clarin ease onto the ground.

\----------------------------------

Fili woke to the sound of gently crying. He had not realized he had fallen asleep next to Clarin during the hot summer day. It was dark now with no candle light. He looked to his side finding Clarin curled up on herself, crying. 

“Wha- Clarin?” He rolled onto his side. “Clarin, what’s wrong?”

He propped himself up onto his arm, leaning over her finding she was asleep. He shook her shoulder. “Clarin, wake up.” He shook her harder when she didn’t, still worried when she blinked open her eyes.

He reached down, his knuckles wiping away her tears. “All is well. I’m here. All is well.”

She took in a few deep breaths before fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, memories that had haunted her dreams flooding her mind.

She tried to move away from Fili but he grabbed onto her, pulling her back against him. She struggled a little, sounds of protest in the back of her throat as he shushed her, stroking her hair.

“Shh, I’m right here. I’m right here.”

He held her throughout the night, well after her tears subsided, all the while feeling a pain in his heart because he had never heard her cry in her sleep before.


	15. false deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that what's going to be coming is a little too harsh so I'm giving you some fluff and junk first.

He turned the fingers that pressed against his palm, looking at the well worn hand that bore callouses from hard work. He brushed a thumb over the flaking cuticles taking in a mental note to get some oils that would help with that. But despite the years of work, the cracked and flaking skin, it was still distinctly feminine. After Clarin had calmed from her distress Fili had pulled her to his side and held her close until the morning. Though his tunic was stained with tears and Clarin would still occasionally sniffle with a stuffy nose, her head rested on his chest and he felt that the world was right for the first time since he was a tiny dwarfling when Kili was only a babe being bounced on his father’s knee.

He ran his hand that was around her waist and brought it up, threading his fingers through kitten soft hair. His heart swelled as he felt her cheek nuzzle down against his chest. He bit his lip gently, his mind pulling in two directions until one side won the tug-o-war.

Fili’s voice was a soft rumble as he whispered into the quiet of the room.

“Marry me.”

Clarin frowned, she must have misheard that. 

When she didn’t reply Fili pressed his lips against the crown of her head, mumbling into her hair. “Please, marry me.”

Her body stiffened, heart clenching. Her fingers moved, lacing with his in an action to anchor herself. “You know I can’t.”

“I won’t have any other.” Fili spoke louder.

She lifted up her head, looking up at his serious face. “Why would you want someone like me? I’m a terrible being to keep around.”

“You’re not. Why would you say that?”

“I think you’ve got sugar dust in your eyes because you don’t want to be married to someone you don’t know.” She pulled herself up, letting go of his hand and sitting back. She ran her hands through her long, wavy, hair her braids messy from sleeping. “So you seek safety with someone that you find a low threat.”

Fili sat up, pulling himself up by his arms and shifting his butt back so his back was against the headboard. “Do you think so little of me?”

“No! I-” She rubbed at her stuffy nose. “I don’t know what I’m saying… I’m… I’m worried, I suppose, that your heart is misplaced, perhaps even mine. We’re both in a world we don’t understand, alone, so… we collected together.”

Fili couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at the edge of his mouth. “I believe you’re confused my raven.”

Clarin’s cheeks flushed a bright red at the purring lilt of Fili’s voice when he said “my raven.” She tried to say something only to have a little squeak escape her throat. Fili’s chuckle filled the room as he reached forward, his palm caressing Clarin’s cheek.

“Marry me.” He repeated.

“I-... you know I can’t.”

“Think on it.” Fili reached over, taking her hands while scooting closer. “I’ll ask again and you can give your answer then.”

She sighed. “Why do ask in the first place?”

“Because I know I am in love with you.” He said simply. “You spoke your mind before so let me speak mine. You think you do not deserve happiness even though you try to smile every day. You help others in need even when you do not know them. I believe you to have been given a hard life that you have become accustomed, you are confused when it comes to your own needs so you focus on others because it gives you a direction.” He played with her fingers, imagining what fine rings would look on the short digits. “I think there is more honor in you than any noble I have ever met. You are loyal, smart, and you endure pain and sadness so others may live outside of fear and worry.” He forward a bit more, their knees touching. “I always found these to be the qualities I wanted to find in my wife. They are qualities of a good queen.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to be queen.”

“Good people never want power for themselves, only the power to protect their people.”

\---------------------------------------

Kili kicked his boots onto the tabletop as he leaned back in his seat waiting for his breakfast to come. His face split into a large yawn as he settled the book across his lap. He had gotten through one during the night, the second he was halfway through and still trying to concentrate. It was such dry material that he had actually nodded off several times and when he woke he had silently wished that Ori was there with him. The scribe would have gone through all of this without any trouble. As it was he was shouldering this by himself, and he wasn’t fairing well as he was nodding off once more. 

His boots were batted at the familiar voice of Dori shocked him awake. “Your mother teach you any manners?”

The older dwarf knocked Kili’s feet off of the table. Kili smiled, thumping the book down on the table and getting halfway up to hug Dori who was taking a seat next to him.

“Dori! It’s good to see you! Fili said he had seen you. We had been too busy to come and find you and have a proper meet. Have you eaten?”

“Oh, yes, I ate where I’m staying. What has kept you so busy?”

Kili pressed his lips together in an attempt not to spill the full story. It really wasn’t any of Dori’s business that they were making courting gifts. Instead he gave him a half truth. “We had heard there is some sort of loophole that we may be able to exploit in this arranged marriage. But we want to make sure of it before we proceed.”

“A loophole? All I’ve ever heard of is the parents or guardians of the couple change their mind.”

“That’s what I heard too, but a friend says she knows different and we are trying to find evidence of that.”

“Perhaps she was trying to fool you.”

“No, not her.” Kili put his hand on the open pages of the book. Remembering how sick and exhausted Clarin was yesterday. The letters of Fili’s relief of being taken in and cared for by the two women. The look in his brother’s eyes of how much he loved Clarin. No one did that if they were just trying to have a laugh.

Dori let out a long sigh, weary of politics even though he’s only started to dabble in them when Erebor had been reclaimed. “And you’re certain it’s a law.”

“I believe so, legal enough that it can release Sigrun’s hold on Fili.” He leaned forward, resting his cheek on his fist, eyes going down to the scrawled out words. “But for the life of me I can’t seem to find anything, neither of us can.”

“Then you need to narrow your sweep, focus on the subjects that apply.”

Kili frowned. It was sound advice but he had already checked the vast libraries in Erebor focusing on trade laws and agreements, subclauses, read up on marriages and social structures of the dwarves, he’s even tried to research foreign agreements with other races and kingdoms with no favorable result. Where else could he look? It had to be an obscure law, that meant he had no where to look but outside of the ones he’s already looked up.

He closed the book when his meal was placed onto the table in front of him with a mug of mead. He sighed at the stout drink, he really prefered ale but everyone on the east side of the Misty Mountains seemed to only know of mead while on the west they only knew of ale. While he was glad that he got to see Thorin savor the dwarven drink for the first time in so long, he found himself craving his favorite drink more with each meal. It gave him something else to relate to with his uncle.

He took up his utensils and started to cut into his sausage. “So how did you find us?”

“It was easy enough.” Dori stole a sip of Kili’s drink. “I know you lads. You grew up with comfort not riches, so all I had to do was find an inn suitable to your tastes. Visited three before finding this one.”

“I was expecting you to tell me that Fili told you where we were but you’ve been keeping it secret.” He looked pointedly at Dori while he put the chunk of meat into his mouth, chewing slowly.

The elderly dwarf huffed. “Fili was very admit on me not meeting this girl he likes, sayin’ things such as ‘not ready’ or ‘you need to understand’. Well, I say if she truly is good enough for him, good enough to make a mess of this whole marriage then I want to meet her!”

Kili rolled his eyes. Classic Dori, acting as if Fili was a chick for him to mother hen over, probably doing it because Ori wasn’t there to take the brunt of it and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

After Kili was done eating he leaned back once more, putting his feet on the table which got Dori to yell at him a few times. He ignored him in favor for returning to his book, it wasn’t going to read itself and the more time he spent talking in idle chit chat the more time he lost before Thorin came. Dori stayed with him, drumming his fingers, every once in a while asking were Fili was only to have Kili shrug his shoulders in reply.

It was the soft lilt of a voice in love that pulled the attention of most people in the tavern.

“Marry me.” Fili skipped in his step going in front of Clarin, he was wearing a dark tunic that was edged with yellow. He went in front of her, grinning and was walking backwards.

Clarin was wearing simple trousers with a comfortable leather bodice over a sea foam colored blouse. Her cheeks were red and she smiled. “No.”

“I’m not going to stop asking.” He stopped in his steps making her do the same.

“And the answer will be the same.” She bit her bottom lip as she took hold of one of the braids that rested over her shoulders.

“One of these times you’re going to slip up, and I’m going to exploit that.” He grinned.

“No, you won’t.”

“Yes, I will.”

“You’re too much of a gentleman.” She let go of her braid, wanting all the world to place a kiss to his face as she brushed past him. 

“I can be a barbarian.” He turned with her. “With that in mind, marry me.”

“Y-no!” She put her hand on his face and shoved him gently until he was at arm’s length away.

“You guys fuck yet? Because I can already see the babies.” Kili hollard out causing the two lovebirds to turn a scarlet red as the room burst into laughter.

“And they would be the happiest babes that you would ever see!” Fili barked back, still blushing.

Clarin covered her face with both hands hoping there was some way she could crawl into a hole and wait this embarrassment out. They had literally forgotten where they were. She instinctively pressed up against Fili, hugging him and hiding her face in his hair. Kili gave a whistle while someone laughed and shouted out, “I think she just said yes!”

Fili couldn’t help himself, he laughed even though his ears were hot from embarrassment. He rubbed a hand over Clarin’s back before pulling away and taking her hand, guiding her over to where Kili was. His smile dropped when seeing Dori, worry cooling the fuzzy warmth that had been in his stomach. Dori was frowning in disappointment. The older dwarf got up quickly, the scrap of his chair barely heard as the tavern returned to it’s previous bustling. The sudden movement caught Kili’s attention. He put down his feet as he watched Dori take long strides up to the two.

“Sssshit.” Kili hissed out.

Fili pulled Clarin around and behind him, she stumbled a step confused by the sudden rough movement. Fili squared off his shoulders. “Dori.”

“So this is the one you wanted so badly?” Dori’s voice was hard. “Well? Is she?”

“Dori.” Kili got up from his seat. “Let’s be level headed about this.”

“She’s the woman I love.” Fili stated. “I already told you, I will have no other.”

“A woman that you barely know, who is preventing you from marrying your intended.” Dori leaned towards Fili, his voice low so no one else hears him.

“Clarin _is_ my intended.” Fili growled. 

Dori’s words had been heard by Kili and Clarin, tried to move around Fili the older dwarf’s words grating on her nerves. “When did getting to know the woman he marry concern you?” She argued in a controlled volume.

She was saying something about how he should be ashamed of himself when Kili spoke over her. “You had been by our uncle’s side, willing to sell him off like a calf to the slaughter.”

“Now that’s not true.” Dori quipped. “I’ve been concerned because this marriage is for the best of Erebor. I’ve always wanted you lads to be happy, I love you as much as my own brothers, but certain things must be done!”

“So bartering someone’s happiness and freedom is acceptable under these standards?” Clarin quipped, wrenching her arm free from Fili’s grasp. “You claim that they mean something to you but you’re willing to sell them! Nothing is worth that much!”

“Erebor is!”

The farm girl surged forward shoving at Dori’s chest with both hands. Images of her mother selling her over and over again went across her mind, her face contorting into anger. She knew the pain of having freedom taken away, to have no choice and left to fester in the cold because the people who “loved you” betrayed and abandoned. She knew the tied hands of the brother who wished to help only to have it escalate to blood.

“Erebor can bathe in fire.” She cursed.

“How dare you!”

\--------------------------------------------

Khelging came back from work at the mine, shaking some of the dirt off of her boots. She looked up at the sky that started to pull a blanket of clouds over the blue zenith. She took a deep breath, feeling the tingle that sent a shiver down her spine. It would rain soon and she couldn’t wait to have the break in the heat. If she timed it right she could get something to eat, grab Clarin, and the two could spend some time in the field and enjoy the rain. That would be nice… wait, she still needed to give her the present she bought… maybe should grab that and give it to her before they head out. Yeah that sounded good.

She waved at the inn keeper as she passed by the front desk going up stairs to her room. She dropped off her equipment, grabbing up the travel case for the present, before heading back down stairs. She hummed softly as she went into the tavern greeted by the normal sounds of any tavern, laughing, joking, someone bitching to a friend, another crying, tankards clanking and thumping, people moving around and gambling over cards. There was a group of people that were tightly together that she recognized, other patrons of the tavern gave them a wide birth worried about a fight breaking out.

She stepped up in time to have to duck out of the way for Fili as he grabbed Clarin around the waist and hefted her over his shoulder. Her face was red with anger as she tried twisting around in his hold, finally her hushed voice yelling clearly.

“I won’t let you do this to him!!” She grabbed the back of Fili’s dark tunic for stability as she pointed at Dori from her height. Fili hugging her thighs to his chest. “Not him, not Kili! No one!!”

“We need the stone!! Erebor must be rebuilt!”

Kili was trying to keep the gray haired dwarf away from Fili and Clarin. He was pushed back a step, making him collide into Khelging. Feeling the small impact of backing into something he glanced over his shoulder. “Sorry.” He tried to get out over the growling.

“What’s going on?”

“This puffed up goat pastiery of a dwarf wants to marry **my** Fili to someone else for trade of building stone from the mountains here!!” Clarin hissed.

“Building stone?” She asked, completely confused. “Why would you need building stone?”

“To rebuild the halls of Erebor.” Kili grunted as he covered Dori’s mouth so that he couldn’t say anything else that would escalate the situation.

“There’s no stone like that here.”

The whole of the group froze. All eye turning to her.

“What?” Kili breathed out. “What did you just say?”

“There’s no building stone here. Only ore and gems. The rock is flaky here, some times like chalk, no building can be made from it.”

“A-are you sure?” Fili held tighter to Clarin’s legs.

Khelging nodded, not understanding the shock.

Dori removed Kili’s hand from his mouth. “And how do you know?”

“She works in the mines.” Kili said sharply. “Which means… there is no grounds for Fili’s marriage. This… this whole time, everything we endured, for nothing?”

He looked over to his brother who was looking back just as shocked and surprised.

“Fili, ow, Fili, my legs.” Clarin tried squirming. “You’re crushing my legs.”

“S-sorry.” He relaxed his hold, letting her slip down to her feet. He kept hold of her waist. Looking at her, his heart slowly picking up pace. 

“We’ll need to make sure that this is true,” Dori murmured. “Have it legally documented… and if it is true… then your arrangement would be broken.”

But Fili didn’t hear him, he pressed his forehead against Clarin’s, his breath washing over her face. His heart beating faster and faster as the realization struck him. He was free. He had a choice now, nothing to bound him down to the shadows and he was rushing forward towards the light.

“Marry me.” He said with a soft breath.

Clarin nodded, her hands coming up to his hair. Her reply was tiny, like a secret. Fili pushed out a relieved laugh, pressing his nose against the side of hers, their lips so much closer now.

“Marry me.” He said louder, rocking his body as well as hers in a gentle sway.

“Yes.” She reply to match his tone.

He quickly kissed her lips, leaving them all too soon before lifting her up with strength that always seemed to surprise her. “Will you marry me, Clarin?!” He shouted for the whole of the tavern to hear.

“Yes!” She smiled down at him.


	16. Chapter 16

It was the scream that pulled his attention up from his pipe. The dark gray clouds over head muted the color of tall golden grass of the field. Kili had Clarin slung over his shoulder and was spinning in place making her shout as he roughed up his new sister. The dark haired prince never made it a point to hide the fact he always wanted a sister. Someone that he could protect, someone that would look up to him. He wanted to be a big brother and have all the things that he gave to Fili, but joined with the soft touch of a female’s hand.

Beside Fili sat Khelging, she still had her leather bound item, settled on her lap as she picked apart pieces of bread while Dori fussed over a fire and was grilling fresh fish they had gotten in the market. After his proposal it was decided the group wanted to stay together and spend time away from crowds. This was their time. Things were finally looking up and they were going to take advantage of the relaxation of things finally going their way.

“I don’t see why we can’t just go to a proper restaurant to eat in celebration.” Dori huffed, mostly because he was worried that someone would complain about his cooking.

“If we did, we would miss that.” Khelging said around a mouthful of bread while pointing at the two playing dwarves.

Kili raised Clarin above his head, faking to toss her. She instantly kicked in the air, making a world of noise, before Kili eased her down with amazing control, flopping her onto her back the last few inches from the ground. He then faked a few punches to the stomach, barely touching her bodice with his knuckles before standing and opening his arms. “I am the victor!”

“Well won, brother.” Fili smiled softly. He used to play like that with Kili when they were younger. The pure joy on the younger prince’s face was worth all this pain that they went through, but even more so the reward was Clarin. He had never seen her so lively, seen her click into place with anyone so easily before. Her smile was brighter than the sun, she didn’t quiet have the dimples of Kili’s and her eyes twinkled in a different way. But when she got up and suddenly tackled Kili from behind he saw a younger woman. One that didn’t have the pains of the past, one that treasured so much and was not going to take any of this for granted. 

Kili lost his balance, hands going under Clarin’s legs as he was forced forward. Instead of falling he went into a run furthering their play. To anyones else they could have been twins, so alike and yet so different that there was no way they could be mistaken for each other. 

“Kili is happy to have a sister.” Khelging said softly, looking a little sad.

“Two sisters.” Fili blew out a puff of smoke, correcting her. It had not been lost on him that the miner had been worried that if Clarin settled down then their adoptive bond would be severed and she would have to be on her own. Even though Khelging had not seen it herself Fili had seen how inseparable they were. They were as close as any family could be by blood and he had accepted it without much question. 

“I don’t… get along with him too well.” She confessed.

Fili adjusted the folded up cloth that had been resting on his lap. He had fetched it when he went to get his coat when there was a promise of rain upon the air and they would be out in the open.

“Not all siblings get along well.” Fili looked over at Dori who was now trying to get Kili to calm down so Clarin could get on her own feet and the prince could catch his breath. “Take Dori for example. He has a brother that can’t stand him for most of the day, but in a bind they are close. He has another brother who lets him mother over him but hates it and wishes to do his own things. My uncle and my mother, brother and sister, would fight almost every day. Raised voices mostly but a few times they went to fistacuffs. But I know they love each other. You and Kili may not get along, but he does not dislike you.” He leaned over whispering. “Besides, I do believe that upon my marriage of Clarin, no matter what you are accepted as sister to both of us.”

Khelging smiled, cheeks reddening from what felt like a great compliment. 

Soon things had calmed down and the group of dwarves were eating around the crackling fire. Clarin and Khelging complimented Dori on the fish which caused the gray haired dwarf to preen, while Fili and Kili tried hard not to laugh and talk about how it was pretty average cooking but they had some great stories from their adventures to tell about how disastrous Dori’s culinary arts could be. 

They were smothering the small cooking fire with dirt when the first cold drop of rain fell. It hit the tip of Dori’s nose making him look up towards the sky as a few more came down. The world darkened further as a sudden sheet of rain fell upon them, beating down heavy and hard with fat drops that made the grass dance around them. 

Kili pulled his hood up instantly, he grabbed the edge of his coat, holding it up over Khelging’s head as she didn’t have a cloak or hood. Dori covered his head with his arms as he shouted over the heavy rain for them all to head back.

Clarin didn’t seem to be bothered by the rain as much. Though she did huddle closer to Fili when a cold wind blew. Fili took the folded material he had brought with him and opened it up. It was a handmade cloak, the rich, royal blue was embroidered with gold and silver runes on the edges, the clasp was custom work that was Fili’s personal signia showing all who saw this that the person wearing it was his intended. It was a proper courting gift; practically, useful, and aggressively possessive. 

“A beautiful courting gift for a beautiful lady.” Khelging teased openly.

Clarin’s cheeks flared a bright red color. Fili grinned as he pulled the hood up, fingers lingering on the edge. He wanted to lean in, to kiss her lips properly. She looked so beautiful dressed in something he made. He started to lean in, head tilting to the side when Dori barked out.

“None of that!”

He fought back a groan. It wasn’t that it was not allowed to kiss upon courtship it was the fact that Dori wanted to make sure that Khelging’s words rung true and that there was no basis for Fili’s engagement to Sigrun to start with. If it wasn’t for the fact that Kili had already barked at Dori rather viciously for stating they shouldn’t even be giving courting gifts then Fili wouldn’t have even been able to give Clarin the cloak. 

“He’s just looking out for you.” Clarin said seeing the unspoken irritation in Fili’s features. She leaned over and kissed the tip of his nose.

“So we’ve established that you two are good together, can we get out of this rain now?” Kili barked.

 

When they got back to the tavern they were staying at. Kili left with Dori to walk the elderly dwarf home. The remaining three stood in the hallway one the floor that Khelging shared with the brothers. The miner yawned and shoved her leather case she had been carrying into Clarin’s hands.

“For you. For taking care of us.” She simply stated before bidding them a good night and promptly going to bed.

The dark haired woman blinked at the closed door that her sister had disappeared behind, clutching the case to her chest. She tilted her head to the side, she never got anything from Khelging before besides a drawing and that was a long, long time ago. She shared a look with Fili who only shrugged his shoulders.

Clarin carefully opened the case, inside was a fiddle. 

“Do you play?” Fili asked.

“No, not the fiddle. I’m better at wind instruments than string…” Clarin admitted. Though she was confused she had a warmth spreading in his chest. She loved music. She missed playing it, missed watching Khelging dance to the tune as they put on a performance and earned money on a street corner. It was a strange lot of memories to cherish but it was always of a time where they would be able to eat, to sleep on a bed for once and not on stone or dirt.

“I can teach you.” Fili offered.

“I would very much enjoy that.” She shifted on her feet, biting her bottom lip.

He saw his opportunity and took it. “I could show you a few things now, if you would like… your room would be best as to not disturb Khelging.”

Clarin closed the case and nodded eagerly. They quickly made it to her room where the fiddle was placed down on a table and forgotten as lips found each other. Hands bunched in soft hair and clothing was lost to the floor.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really hated how I had the last half of this chapter originally, so I re-wrote it.

His fingers sunk into the soft locks of dark hair, brushing locks back and away from a sleeping face. The sun was barely able to brighten the gray, clouded sky with a touch of dawn and Fili felt the pulls of slumber beckoning to him. He had spent most of the night indulging in his desire to taste and claim the woman he loved. He spent hours touching and exploring, learning every sound, finding the right places to touch that unraveled her into a begging mess underneath him. Between moments of lust, when their hearts settled they whispered secrets to one another. He had discovered with much relish that this was the first time Clarin had ever derived pleasure from a coupling. Her cheeks had bloomed a rose colored red as she confessed that she had been worried of being barren and unable to have children since her womanhood rarely got wet. But Fili changed that. Each caress, every kiss, made her body tingle with excitement and she was more than slick for him. In fact the sheets were quite a mess and if he had the energy he would have ripped them from the mattress. As it was, it was a discomfort that he chose to ignore in favor of taking in the raw beauty of the woman that had brightened his life. 

Fili’s blue eyes traced over her features, her round nose, her open mouth, lips shaped like an archer’s bow when closed. Her eyebrows were high when relaxed, not a wrinkle on her brow. He gently ran a few of his fingers over her round cheek, coming down to her delicate chin of her heart shaped face.

He scooted closer, kissing her bare shoulder as his idle mind allowed him to think of the past. He had thought this sort of happiness was not for him. That he would have had to bed a woman he hated. His mind had been in a dark place at that time, crying out for help. He had been so wrapped up in himself that he had not noticed the moment when Clarin had crept into his heart. He didn’t realize she had pulled him out of the dark and nurtured him back to health until he saw that he had only repaid her with a broken heart. It did make him feel sick to know that he could have left it broken, took his mother’s advice and swallow his pride and went for Sigrun… or even left…

He closed his eyes as he took in a breath of Clarin’s scent. His arm wrapped around her back, pulling her closer to him. She murmured in her sleep, squirming into a comfortable position. 

He kissed her skin once more before allowing himself to relax. He reassured himself that he would never leave her, never let harm touch her life again. His face split into a yawn, he ducked down his head, pressing his brow against her shoulder as his body gave a slight tremble. He needed to sleep. There would be plenty of mornings to follow where he could enjoy the silence of his sleeping lover.

\--------------

It was well after noon when Kili decided he had nothing to do besides read more of the law books that he had sequestered from Clarin. He lazily flipped through the pages, already knowing full well why he wasn’t seeing his brother. He wasn’t a fool, he was going to let his brother have this happiness. He deserved it. 

His eyes skimmed over a page before his brows drew together. He sat up straighter as he went back to read a passage.

_Upon disputes of an unsatisfactory marriage the closest kin; or there in the sole survivor of a clan, may place Claim of the Tribe. The law givers of the local land must take into account the unsatisfactory of the individual. The dowery must be assessed and the agreement upon the marriage taken into account. If the ruling is in the offended party’s favor the marriage will be ruled void and compensation must be granted. If the ruling is in the offending party’s favor the marriage will be left untouched with a compensation of their choosing. However, at any time either party may claim Clan Rites and issue a trial by swords._

Kili felt his heart skip.

He found it! The law that Clarin had been searching for and it was a sub passage in… he thumbed through the book. It was a book of Agricultural Laws… He huffed out a small laugh, smile broadening as he reverently touched the book.

“I guess you really do love him.” He mused out loud in a whisper. He didn’t know much about Clarin -besides what he had over heard-, nor Khelging. They were good people from what he knew and he had supported his brother. He fully believed that it was in the small things that one could see the true nature of things. And how much Clarin strived, how far deep into laws she tried to study in order to help… not even a good friend like Ori would risk his own health to find this simple passage. This little gracing light.

Kili sat up on the bed he had been lounging on. He tucked the large tome under his arm as he left. He hummed with confidence as he went to find Dori. It was time to stop all of this madness and put things back to right and rid their lives of worry.

\-----------------

Clarin pulled the dress over her head. It was heavy, lined with fur. Gold and jewels plated the top over her breasts and cuffed around her wrists with the double sleeves. The top sleeves stopped at her elbows, opening wide with fur and ran the length of the rich red dress. It was her second courting gift. There would be a third one before, by law, she would have to present a dowery. 

She closed her eyes, feeling the gentle touch of her husband to be. He gathered her hair and brushed it over her shoulder so he could lace up the back. Fili took a moment to lean in, running his nose along the line of her spine, placing small kisses. The pull of his mustache, gliding over her skin, made her shiver. He smiled.

“You like the feel of my mustache?”

Clarin’s cheeks heated. Despite what they had done last night, tangled within passionate embrace this still felt surreal and at any moment this fantasy would rupture. “Y-yeah, I mean, yes. It feels, really nice.”

Fili grinned, kissing the nape of her neck before pulling back and lacing up the back of her dress, pulling tight as it needed to be. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ve actually had lovers that hated it.”

“Probably picky bitches that wanted a huge beard.” Clarin combed her hair with her fingers, feeling a bit bitter that anyone would treat Fili with disrespect. He was their prince, he was their savior, more than anything he was a proper dwarven gentlemen that deserved the best.

“Don’t be jealous my love.” Fili wrapped his arms around Clarin from behind.

“It still sounds odd hearing that from you.”

“Oh, yes, I forgot to insult you today.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She leaned back against him. “I can’t stand people not respecting you, your brother, our king. It makes me angry to know that so many don’t care who you are because they were not directly touched by dragon’s fire. It’s sickening.”

“The kingdom is still in ruins. We have a lot of work to bring it back to the way it should be.” He kissed her temple before pulling back. “Now, allow me to put in your courtship braids.”

“Fili…” She resisted his guidance to the chair in front of the small vanity. 

“What is it?”

“...Would putting courtship braids in our hair now be wise? You are still, by law, engaged to another and I have no dowry to give to you to show my sincerity.”

Fili snorted a little. “I see you have been brushing up on your speech. I rather you speak to me with your own tongue than what you think will be expected of you.” He ran his fingers through her loose hair. “I want to show the world that we’ve chosen each other. Sigrun has nothing to do with our lives any longer. As for the dowry, I have been thinking about that. Thorin won’t be happy with getting nothing as Erebor is in a delicate state and unfortunately being a prince I’m a tool to be used to better the kingdom with being used as a token of payment for something that will benefit our people.”

He smiled when Clarin made a displeased sound. He eased her over to the chair and sat her down. He picked up a brush and started to tend to the soft curls of dark hair. 

“But you said you had land. I can’t remember how much you said your family had, if you had said at all. Right now, all of Erebor’s land is dead, scorched by the dragon’s fire down to the rock. I think…” He parted sections for the braid, pausing. “I believe if we can get back your land, we can use that as the dowry.”

Clarin fidgeted. “But what if we can’t get back my land? The only true holders were my brothers and they’re…”

“There has to be something that can link you to that land. Think about it, I’m certain something will come to you.” He leaned down kissing the end of the courtship braid. He took out one of his own beads and slipped it on, fixing it into place.

“I think you have too much faith in me.”

“And I believe you do not have enough.” Fili knelt down beside her, taking up her hand. He brought her knuckles to his lips. “Even if I had not fallen in love with you, even if this was arranged, I know you to be for the best of our people. You understand the dragon’s wrath while many of our generation do not. You know hardship, you understand who you can help and who you cannot. You’re an intelligent provider and you will not give up the fight. You have a gentle hand and a powerful heart that beats with an infectious hope. If I was sent to you to woo you for courtship as I had for Sigrun…” He reached over, brushing the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip. “I would look no where else. Mahal had crafted you for me and I will call you wife.”


	18. Chapter 18

Kili didn’t bother to knock, he just walked right into Dori’s room at the inn he was staying at. He flopped down the book that had been tucked under his arm with a loud bang onto the vanity that Dori had been sitting at trying to fix his braids. The elderly dwarf didn’t even give a start, after all he had Nori for a little brother and very little surprised him these days. He flicked through the pages and pointed to the section that he had read through.

“I want to declare Claim of the Tribe.”

“The what?” Dori followed Kili’s finger to the page. His eyes trailed along the words absorbing the information slowly. He blinked a few times before he leaned over and looked at it closer. “Claim of… Can you do that?”

“It’s a law, so… yes, I can!”

“But Thorin-”

“Will have to handle it. You’re going to the quarry today, yes? To talk to the quarry master to make sure Kelging’s words were true. I want to come with.”

Dori sighed. “Kili, you’re looking to make trouble where you don’t need to.”

“Of course I need to!” Kili snatched up the book and tucked it under his arm. “Fili’s my brother and all the shit we’ve had to go through… I’m not going to let his happiness slip. Everyone else has given up on him and I won’t.” He touched the side of the book mentally telling himself he wasn’t the only one that was giving up. A simple girl that had no reason to care stepped up while others prevented him from being at his brother’s side. 

The prince looked around the large room, decorated to the tastes of nobles. He wrinkled his nose, it would take much longer for him to get used to the fact that this was his life. All the gaudy stuff, the over embellishment of something even as simple as a curtain rod. 

“You need something presentable to wear, don’t you?” The fussy dwarf sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I might.” Kili replied.

“Luckily for you I’m prepared for everything. Knew I would find you practically naked with your worn out clothing.” Dori got up from the vanity and went to the bed. He crouched down and dug out a wooden chest. He threw it up onto the bed. “I grabbed some of your clothing from Erebor before I left.”

“I don’t know if I should kiss you or feel insulted.”

“Either way, get yourself dressed quickly. I want to surprise the quarry master, catch him off guard while his workers are off to lunch.”

\----------------------------------------

Fili threaded his fingers with Clarin’s as they took a simple walk out of the inn. He enjoyed how small her hand was compared to his own, how her skin was smoothing despite having callouses from hard work. The days were now into the autumn months, the rain was lukewarm in the dry air and the skies gray with clouds. More people were out now that the punishing summer sun was hidden away. Puddles formed in dips of the cobbled roads, mud caking into stone cracks. It was more pleasant than when the rains turned the dirt roads of Ered Luin into slippery rivers of mud. One day he would like to take Clarin to Ered Luin. He looked down at the dwarrowdam as she stepped up to his side, placing her free hand onto his arm. It warmed his soul that she was subconsciously showing her more feminine side. She didn’t have to protect herself all the time, he was there. He could be her sword and shield against the evils of the world. 

She made a displeased sound as she squeezed his hand as she spotted someone in the crowd. 

“What is it?” 

“Don’t look now, but I do believe your suiter spotted us.”

Fili felt his heart cinch with resolve. He wouldn’t run from Sigrun, he had been kind from the beginning and he was tired of having someone overly privileged take advantage of their station that they had not earned. 

“Prince Fili!” Sigrun came with a stomp to her step. 

“Sigrun.” He said it with an edge.

“Where have you been? Father and I have been looking for you everywhere and… and…” She stopped seeing the courtship braid that plated the left side of his head. It wasn’t discrete, it was large and proud and exactly how he wanted it. Sigrun’s features clouded over even as she smiled. She wasn’t blind, she could see that the woman next to Fili had a matching braid though looser, resembling knot work and not braiding. It was distinctly the sign of a Durin’s claim but she would give him this one chance to come to his senses. “I see you’ve made up your mind. Very well and good, father will be pleased to hear and you can put the braid into my hair once we return home.”

“I won’t be going anywhere with you, nor will I be touching your hair or your coat or anything of yours ever.” Fili bit out. He was so tired of her pretentious behavior. 

The woman’s face twisted into a deep frown, her voice hissing out. People were watching and she would not have her reputation besmirched because of some upstart prince. “Keep your voice down.”

“Or what? You will cry and throw things in a fit that is only suitable for a spoiled dwarfling?” He let go of Clarin’s hand, taking a step closer to Sigrun. More eyes were being drawn to them. Dwarves leaned into one another and whispered behind hands and tilted heads as they watched. “Or will you weep fake tears as to what is best for ‘our people’ as you have in the past when you could not get your way? Tell me, which do you threaten me with. Tell everyone what you wish to threaten their prince with!!”

Sigrun growled, her lips snarled up as she ducked her head down. She would have to give into him, but her anger needed an outlet. Her eyes catching onto the woman that wore courting gifts that should have been hers. The woman that had braids and riches in her hair.

Fili caught her line of sight. He felt rage force the hairs on the back of his neck up. “You will **not** look upon her!” His teeth actually snapped as he barked at the noble. It startled the crowd with the ferocity in his words.

“Fili,” Clarin went around him. She put her hands to his chest and pushed forcing him back a few steps. The situation was getting out of hand and it showed that all it could do was get worse. He resisted her making it all the harder. “Fili, calm down. She’s trying to get under your skin like a worm in an apple. Don’t let her words get to you.”

“You best listen to your little whore, you pathetic prince.” Sigrun mocked. 

Fili leapt forward with a roar. The growing crowd backed up as Sigrun gave a scream. She ducked down and covered her head with her arms. She felt something light brush up against her, there was garbled shouting. She carefully looked up, arms still over her head. Her eyes grew wide as she saw the woman that bore Fili’s signia between them. Her skirts and cloak brushed against Sigrun as she used all her might to push at the Lion of Erebor, barely keeping her ground. She had barely managed to catch him around the waist when he lept at the noble. She was using all her strength to keep the infuriated dwarf from acting on the rage that boiled in his breast. 

“She’s not worth it!” Clarin shouted, trying to be heard over the rush of blood going through Fili’s ears. “Fili, look at me. Not her. Look at me!!”

The prince finally looked from his target to the woman that was bravely clutching onto him. Most were too intimidated by him when he got into a frenzy. Thorin and Kili were two that would never hesitate to get between himself and his prey, the only others were members of the company. In all that he had met it was only a handful of people that had the courage to take his anger, be it Bofur with his unwavering humor or Nori with his sly smile that told that he had encountered worse. Now Clarin was demanding of him, making him look to her and breathe. Her eyes were hard showing she would not give up easily. The same look she had when she studied those books, the same look she had every day she went to work and came home bruised and lacerated from the abusive stable master. 

“She does not deserve your wrath.” Clarin said firmly.

“I will not have anyone speak ill about you.” He growled, his fists uncurling in favor of cupping her cheeks with a hard hold. 

“You will have to.” She pushed him, he took a step back, then another, finally calming enough for her to put some distance between him and Sigrun. “People have their own minds and they will say what they think. I am fine with people speaking ill of me or singing my praise.” She stopped her movements, looking over to where Sigrun was standing up and brushing off her coat.

Clarin let go of Fili giving him a firm shake silently telling him that she didn’t want him to move. She turned to Sigrun and without a word reeled back her fist and firmly planted it into Sigrun’s nose. The crack of bone and flesh giving under the punch. The noble started to fall, blood gushing from her nose. She crumbled to the wet ground in pain.

“That was for insulting the prince of our lands!! You selfish cow!!” Clarin shouted. She grabbed fistfuls of her skirts, hoisting them up and swiftly kicking Sigrun in the side. The woman screamed, curling up in on herself. Clarin made to spit on the injured women, the wad of phlegm landing on the ground just in front of her nose from Fili grabbing her and pulling her back. People stood in shock. Fili had to hoist Clarin up over his shoulder where she put a hand into his belt for support to look up and point at Sigrun that was being slowly helped up by a few bystanders. “Mahal’s hammer crush you!!”

Fili moved faster. A flower of pride blossomed in his chest and before he knew it he was grinning. Humans had laws against anyone speaking illy of their royal families but dwarves did not. They could say what they wanted with no real repercussions.

When they were far enough away he put her down on her feet. 

“What happened back there? You calm me only to take on my rage?”

“I-I’m sorry but I said it before that I will not stand for anyone to say anything bad about you or your brother or our king. And while, if you had struck her, her father could have demanded recompence… I… I…” Her finger fidgeted.

“You figured that since you are technically still a commoner you had the right to defend my name?” He filled in, tilting his head.

“Yes! She deserved it! She- mmph~” Her words were cut off as Fili’s lips found hers.


	19. Chapter 19

The humiliation was worse than the pain. Her nose was swollen and her eyes dark, someone asked if she had been kicked by a pony. Her hair was dirty, he clothing coated with mud. She looked like a rat that crawled out of the gutter. She pushed angrily passed dwarves in the street as she made it to the tavern she told her contacts to wait at. She found them smoking in the back alley, hunched over a barrel gambling over a game of stones with a few others. She had found the miner in the market earlier while he was out for lunch. Told him it was time to act. Now she clawed at the manky coats with the wild look of vengeance in her eyes.

“Do it! Do it messy, do it painfully and leave the body to be found!”

“You said nothing about killing.”

She shook the hired muscle. “I’ll pay you double, I’ll pay you triple. I’ll pay anything you want! Show the world what that whore truly is!” 

\----------------------------

Kili walked beside Dori, letting the older dwarf speak. The quarry master really had been caught off guard. He had stammered over almost every word until Dori took initiative and told the man that prince Kili was here to take stock on his brother’s dowry. With a rambled excuse that he could not do that without the owner of the mines present Kili easily sat back as Dori nearly bit off the master’s ear with verbal lashings of how “disrespectful” he was being towards the royal family. Eventually the man gave and took them down to the quarry where he tended to stall until the owner of the mines came to join them. He was hastily dressed, showing his station of a high noble. Kili mentally noted that he was the father of Fili’s betrothed. He looked kinder than the woman he had seen in the market long ago. But the did not mean he wasn’t a vipre in the grass. He would keep his eyes and ears open. After all this was the man that had promised something that he most likely could not fulfill. 

They were only shown one shaft that was as wide as a great road, the mouth open so far up that it was hard to see the top. 

“As you can see there is plenty of great stone around us.” The noble pointed up. “The gold vein has crept skywards making it a little difficult to cut the right sizes for Erebor’s needs and lower them down safely.”

Dori hummed in thought. 

“Farther down the mine is plenty more.”

“Well then, produce them.” Kili spoke up.

“I… Excuse me?”

“Before the courtship can continue with my brother I wish you to produce the dowry. In full.”

The dwarf scoffed. “Well, I-I can hardly do that as it’ll take years to pull all the stone from the earth.”

“So, you say, you do not have it.” Kili had to keep his lips from pulling up into a smile. 

“I did not say that.”

“The produce them. After all, the courtship was all in turn for the stone to rebuild Erebor as soon as possible.”

“Your highness, I-” the man coughed into his beard as he grabbed the lapels of his coat. “You have to understand that I mine many things here. In order to keep all my workers employed I must continue to make money in order to pay their wages. The mining of jewels and precious metals are more of a priority.”

“More of a priority than that of our kingdom?” He frowned. This guy was trying to stall for time to get the dowry or was he just trying to worm out of his lie? “I was under the impression that you were to bring the stone to Erebor within the time of courtship, that is only one year, and if your daughter did not fill with child within two years then the marriage is void and the dowry is to remain as payment to the crown.”

“W-well yes I-”

“If you will not produce your end of the bargain willingly then I will do what I must.” He turned to Dori. “Dori, make a note that upon this day, you and the quarry master are of witness that I, Kili sister-son of Thorin, heir to this kingdom have declared Claim of the Tribe.”

“Claim of the Tribe?” The noble swallowed.

“Oh, aye.” Kili slinked forward, his height greater than the other’s. He smirked. “As Fili’s closest kin I do declare that the dowry must be assessed in full by the law makers of this land.”

The dwarf snuffed a little. “Then you have nothing to worry about because I do the law making and I can assure you-”

“Oh but you’re not, as you see any day now Thorin will be here and _he_ is the law maker of this land. _He_ must be the one to assess and take into account the satisfactory results of the dowry.” Kili stepped back, his head held high. He looked down at the shivering man. “Let us hope you can produce what you have promised.” He turned on his heel, “Come Dori, I do believe we have to find proper accommodations for our king. After all he should be arriving soon and he will be of need of rest.”

With long strides Kili was out of the mine and into the fresh air. Fat drops of rain tacked down onto his head. He pulled up his hood and took in a relieving breathe. This was working! He couldn’t believe it! It was working!

“Right mess you’re making for Thorin to come to.” Dori pulled his own hood over his hair.

“The right kind of mess if you ask me.” Kili was walking idly now towards the trail that would lead them out of the quarry. “Fili wasn’t lying in his letters when he said that these people are terribly selfish. They think they can get what they want with no work and many lies. It’s repulsive.”

Dori nodded in agreement, he had not been here nearly as long as the two princes had and even he had seen the tail ends of corruption running along the streets and into homes. 

“I do have to say that you showed your true bearing to ‘im.” Dori nudged Kili.

“Why Dori, are you saying you’re actually proud of me?”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Kili then threw his hands up in a fussy fashion making fun of Dori as he jumped a little in his steps. “Oh I’m so happy, come here, give us a kiss!” He leaned over trying to place a wet kiss on Dori’s cheek. 

The older dwarf tried to push him away while leaning away. “None of that!”

“Kili? Kili!”

The chuckling dwarf let go of Dori who elbowed him in the ribs. He turned to who was calling his name seeing Khelging waving from a line of workers that were headed down to some other mine shafts. He waved back.

“Having a good day at work, little sister?!” He shouted over.

She nodded, smiling broadly with dirt smeared on her cheeks, her hair tied back with a helmet strapped onto her head. 

“Look forward to seeing you for supper, tonight we feast!”

Khelging hopped a little, excited to eat her fill. She gave him another wave before she disappeared into the mouth of the mine. 

“Sweet girl.” Kili smiled to himself. He looked to Dori. “I can still feel some of the bruises she gave me when we got into a fist fight.”

While he and Dori went up the hill, Khelging went down the dark tunnels. She stopped by a station where there was a miner that lit everyone’s head lamps as they went by, checked over their helmets and gear to make sure that all of it was in working order. The next station down was where they got a scroll of paper that told what mine shaft they would be working on and what job they were expected to fulfill. Khelging was handed a paper that was not from the normal bin of scrolls but from under the desk. She didn’t think much about it as she read it over. She was to be exploring one of the eastern shafts, closer to the Glittering Caves. She was to check the stability of the shafts in that area and see what needed to be reinforced and what shafts needed to be abandoned or filled in. Another dwarf was assigned the same thing making the work a little easier. 

They didn’t say much to each other, only planned out who would take what area and where to meet up later. 

It went fine for several hours. She inspected cracked beams, looked at faults in the tunnel walls, touched the stone to see how firm it was. There were at least three tunnels that needed to be filled in and forgotten. Their walls were becoming more like sand than actual stone and could not bear any more wear. Several needed to be repaired and one had nothing left to yield so she marked it down for abandonment.

She was in the middle of marking another shaft for repairs when she felt a tingle run up her spine. It felt as if someone was watching her. 

She turned, looking down the tunnel. The candle in her head lamp sputtered as she tilted her head, spilling some of the wax over the edge of the holder.

“Hello?” She called down. Her voice echoed her greeting into the darkness.

She hesitated before going back to marking on her map. She walked a little further down only to have the sound of feet behind her. She turned around quickly. The light from her helmet revealed the dwarf that was from the assignment desk. She let out a startled yelp. The sound bounced along the walls making a few pebbles break free from over their heads, raining down with a trail of dust. 

“Shh!” He hissed.

Khelging put a hand over her heart. “You scared me. What- what are you doing down here?”

“Looking out for you.” His eyes shifted in the darkness.

“Looking out for me?” She looked at her map. “Are these tunnels that bad?”

“No, not the tunnels.” He stepped around her going further down into the darkness. “Follow me.”

She did as she was told, “Then what do you mean?”

“Banren, the man I sent down here with you. I heard him speaking to the lord’s daughter today before it was time to return to work.” He turned a sharp corner. “Now I don’t know what you did to get her angry but anything will set that little firecracker off. You’re a good worker and I Banren is a cut throat that will whore out his own mother to a horse if he thought it would give him a copper.”

“Banren? But I’ve sat with him many times, he’s a good friend.”

“Shows how much you know a person, doesn’t it?” The dwarf stopped in the dark. There was something by his feet. Khelging came closer, the dead figure of Banren rested by a vertical shaft. His eyes open wide and bulging. A cord wrapped around his throat showing he was strangled to death.

Khelging looked at the dwarf that had been luring her here. He was looking at her with dark eyes. Her heart went into her throat. She pivoted on the ball of her foot, lunging forward. A strong grip grabbed hold of the back of her coat. Before she could do anything she was whirled around, her feet tripping up over the dead body. Khelging screamed as loudly as she could as she was thrown down the dark hole. Rocks rumbled overhead, falling loose from the sound knocking them out of their delicate perch. The only things she could see was the limp figure of her dead friend tumbling after and the rocks that chased them down as the tunnels above collapsed. 

Above the town shook. Kili’s feet slid on mud and cobblestone, his hands flailing out to the sides as he tried to keep his balance. There was a heave of the earth pushing him up then falling away from his feet. Dori grabbed at him pulling him to the edge of the sinkhole that started to crumble under their feet. They scrambled farther down the road running as fast as they could to where the ground shook less. Dwarves screamed and ran as ponies tried to break free from the carriages they were pulling. Kili heard the tramping of hooves and the powerful voice of his uncle shouting, “Whoa!!”

The royal procession had just been arriving, Balin and Thorin were trying to keep their beasts under control. A hoof from another pony came paddling down catching Kili in the shoulder. He jumped over to the side before another hoof could bash into him. He knocked into Dori, the two rolling over to the stoop of a building where a cluster of people were gathered.

Back at the inn Clarin had pulled her lips away from Fili’s, his hand caressing a breast. The sound of rumbling and pulled at their attention as they waited to identify it. The glass of the window started to rattle, the objects on the vanity clanked and shook, falling off and rolling onto the floor. Fili grabbed a hold of Clarin as the bed vibrated. There was a mighty groan of wood before part of the building suddenly sunk. Their bed slid along the floor towards the gaping hole in the wall that lead outside. Fili pulled Clarin off of the bed, the two of them hurrying over to the farthest part of the room. He pressed her up against the wall as boards broke in the floor, their bed falling away and breaking down below. She held onto him, pressing her face against his shoulder as the world shook violently.

Soon it stopped as suddenly as it came. Leaving a wake of silence only broken by the occasional crumbling stone. 

Fili swallowed, his heart refusing to calm down from the scare. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” Clarin flexed her fingers, she had not realized she had a white knuckled grip on him. “Are you?”

“No… Mahal’s forge… what happened?”

Clarin heard the floorboards creak under them. “Let’s get to safety before we start wondering about much else.”

“Good idea.” 

Fili shuffled his feet out, careful to put his weight down slowly before taking a full step. There was a crumbled away spot across the broken hole that took up most the room that they could climb down to the street. He would have to worry about finding something to cover Clarin with once they got down. As it was they would have to venture to safety completely naked. 

“Careful.” Clarin held Fili’s hand, squeezing it when he wobbled on an unsturdy board.

“I am trying.” Fili felt for another path with his feet.

He slowly made his half the way around, Clarin tugged along as she wasn’t willing to let go of his hand. He was testing out another board when they heard tumbling rocks.

“Fili?!”

Fili looked over the edge to the debris down below. Kili was looking around the rubble, throwing stone and wood around. His shoulder looked awkward, too low to be healthy. 

“Kili! Up!”

The archer looked up. A smile split his face with relief, the smile fell when he saw from his angle the wood floor under the two dwarves starting to give way. “Fili!”

The wood broke off. Fili started to fall, his weight pulled Clarin to the floor, the splintered wood stabbing into her breasts making her scream. The prince looked up as he dangled from her grip. She had one hand around his wrist the other still gripping his fingers. Blood welled up around her pale flesh running down her arms and around her fingers, slicking her grip.

“Clarin!!”

Kili held open his arms under his brother. “Clarin, let go!”

“No!” 

“I’ll catch him!”

“He’ll catch me, let go!” Fili reasserted, his swaying weight was making her move, the thick pieces of wood that impaled her chest tore the soft tissue. Her grip was slicking with her own blood as she tried to keep a hold of him.

“Promise you’ll catch him!!”

“I’ll catch him!”

She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth and let go. Fili fell quickly, his weight smashing down on his brother who cushioned his fall with a heavy grunt. Kili slammed onto the debris below, feeling a shock of pain from his dislocated shoulder. He hissed when Fili used him to push himself up onto his bare feet.

“Clarin!” Fili looked around for a way up. “Stay there. Don’t move!”

The woman looked pale as she gave a nod and a little wave of her fingers. She could wait, Fili was safe and it hurt to move.

“Fili.”

The prince paused. Thorin was climbing into the broken building. The king looked confused as to why Fili would be naked as the day he was born but the situation begged for his questions to be held as he saw blood on Fili’s wrists. 

“Are you hurt?”

“Thorin! I need your shoulders.”

“My shoulders?” 

He looked up to where above Fili’s head. A bloodied woman. He shrugged off his coat and threw it to the ground. Fili’s feet would just slip off of the furred trim. He positioned himself in front of his nephew allowing him to climb up on top of his shoulders. Kili was already getting up watching them, ready to catch whom ever fell. 

Fili barely couldn’t reach, not by a long shot. He growled.

“Kili!”

“On it!”

Kili easily scrambled up Thorin’s back, the king had to widen his stance from the added weight. Kili had a bit more trouble getting up Fili’s back as there was nothing to grab onto except for hair and flesh. He managed to get up, teetering at the top of the tower he could barely reach Clarin’s wrists. He patted her hand.

“I’m going to need you to move. Get up and move to me feet first.”

Clarin swallowed, taking several deep breaths. She braced herself then pushed up breaking wood off into her skin as she moved. She shouted through gritted teeth once she was able to sit up fully. The pain made her vision swim.

“Clarin, hurry up.” Kili swayed.

“C-coming.” She took a deep breath and scooted her feet towards Kili. His hands grabbed at her legs. 

“You climb straight down, no stopping.” He coached.

She nodded as she lowered herself more. She let go of the broken floor letting Kili catch her by the hips. He helped guide her down his body where she had to slip past Fili. Once her feet got to Thorin’s chest they slipped and she fell the rest of the way, crumbling onto her back. She yelled an obscenity while gripping under her breasts, not able to hold onto the real part that hurt like hell.

“Clarin!” Kili slipped down Fili’s back, dropping to his feet easily. He helped his brother down off of Thorin’s shoulders.

Fili threw himself onto his knees beside her, his hands wiping at the bleeding wounds. He couldn’t make out anything, they just kept bleeding. 

Thorin took his coat and draped it over Fili’s back. Kili pushed his cloak into Fili’s blood covered hands.

“We take her to Balin.” Thorin said sternly.

Fili didn’t argue.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter

Fili sat behind Clarin, her hands gripped his knees, knuckles white. Her body trembled, breathing erratic. He pressed his face into her hair, the smell of blood and sweat mingled with her sounds of pain made him feel sick with worry. He closed his eyes still seeing Balin's thin metallic picks work in tweezer like motions, digging out splinters. He worried about infection, a fever that could rob him of the woman that he had allowed into his heart. 

"Hold her still, laddie." Balin's voice was hard but calm. The advisor splashed some clear alcohol over Clarin's breasts washing away blood causing a pained shout. She struggled against Fili's hold. He tightened his grip around her ribs, keeping her close to his chest.

"Shh, shh." Fili didn't know what else to say. What could he say to ease her torment?

The mixture of alcohol and blood ran down Fili’s arms onto Clarin's stomach, riveting over her hips and groin. Kili watched the bloody mess mix with the wet the dirt and stone under his brother who only had Thorin’s coat over his shoulders. Kili was currently manning a boiling pot of water, in his hands a pestle and mortar with a mixture of herbs that have long since been ground. He had to wait for Balin to be done before he would continue to make the poultice that would help heal Clarin’s wounds.

Not too far, he could see Thorin’s figure talking with a group of dwarves under the edge of his tunic’s hood. His coat currently held to Balin’s side to cover Clarin when she was fully bandaged and ready for rest.

Thorin wasn’t happy to know the relation between Clarin and Fili, but in the light of the current destruction of the town he had to place it to the side in order to find out what had happened. 

“Kili, we’re ready.” Balin grabbed his attention.

The young prince scooped some water into the mortar, enough to make a paste. He slathered it into some dried bandages that he folded over to make his poultice. Before it could cool down they had to press it against the wounds to get the full effect. He quickly came over, crouching next to Fili. His brother held onto his beloved, his golden hair looking like a bolt of lightning over the Clarin’s dark locks. 

“This is going to hurt like a mule’s kick.” Kili warned. 

The woman took in several deep breaths before Kili pressed it against the still gaping wounds in tender flesh. He held fast as she struggled, her leg kicking out, almost catching Balin in the side. Her scream ripped out of her lungs, her nails clawing at Fili’s knees until they bled. Fili held on, being jarred by her erratic movements, his face tucked into the crook of her neck. Kili and Balin worked as quickly as they could, strapping her breasts down with bandages. It was hard working their arms between two naked bodies.

Once they finished, Balin tied it off. Kili went over to one of the carts that held some clothing in trunks for Balin and Thorin. He pulled out the first pairs of trousers and tunics he could find. 

Fili held Clarin’s head, kissing at her temple and ear. Her eyes were closing, worn out from all the pain. He mumbled reassurances into her hair as Kili came over.

“You did well, dearest.” Fili didn’t look at anyone, only rocked a little as he refused to move from her back. Balin was mopping up the blood and alcohol with a rag from Calrin’s stomach, washing over Fili’s arm that still held her around her ribs. To hear her scream like that, to see her hurt like this… He couldn’t handle the fear it put into him. He only felt fear like this once before and that was when he was on a cot after the Battle of Five Armies, seeing his brother’s still form down the line of fallen soldiers. 

“Fili,” Kili nudged his brother. “Let’s get her dressed and in the cart so she can rest.”

Fili nodded, placing one last kiss to Clarin’s ear before pulling back and taking a tunic from Kili’s offering hands. He slipped the rich purple fabric over her head, noting she had fallen asleep. He helped work her limp arms through the sleeves. Balin took a pair of trousers and slipped them onto the woman’s legs and pulled the fabric up to her knees where Fili took over pulling it up the rest of the way and tying it off.

Kili helped Fili get her off the ground, Fili’s position making it difficult to lift her. The brothers took her to the cart that was covered. Kili climbed in first, hefting the limp body up and onto the bed of furs that was prepared. Fili handed Kili his coat that he pulled over Clarin like a blanket before throwing a few things of fur on as well. He climbed back out with a heavy sigh. His brother looked so worried that it was breaking his heart.

“Don’t worry. Not even Smaug could keep her down.” Kili slapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, gripping with reassurance. “She’ll be fine. And you need to get yourself clothed before the cold seeps into your bones.”

He shoved another tunic and trousers against Fili’s chest. “I’ll find you some boots.”

Fili’s eyes lingered on Clarin’s still form. Too many bad memories surfacing. Kili pale and unmoving, Thorin’s breathing labored as he struggled to hold onto what little life was left in his body. He licked his lips and swallowed through a nervous tick. He tore his gaze away in favor to focus on getting dressed into the maroon trousers and black tunic. Kili came over with a spare pair of Thorin’s black boots that he worked over his feet.

“I should stay with her.” Fili stated.

“I agree, but first we need to know what happened. I also need your eyes to help me find Khelging.”

“Can’t Thorin help you with that?”

“Thorin doesn’t know what she looks like.” Kili explained. “Look at me, Fili. Clarin is asleep, we can have Balin watch over her while we find our little sister. Yes?”

“Y-yes.” He could understand Kili’s reasoning. Balin was well trusted, but the worry that was coupling with his past traumas ate at his stomach.

“She will be perfectly safe.” Kili pressed his hand to Fili’s back.


	21. Chapter 21

The mines had collapsed. The tunnels burrowed for so many generations that founded the Crystal Caves and the White Mountains had snaked under the village. Layer after layer of earth and rock were hollowed out, only held up with wood beams, slowly rotting away with the decay of time. When one tunnel collapsed it triggered many others to give crushing and trapping so many dwarves in the airless dark. The catastrophe had left the village above broken, laying in shambles. Houses were tilted or crumpled rubble. The larger buildings looked as if they had been a mere child’s plaything, punched and thrown with chunks missing and sagging in odd ways. Wooden structures looked like twisted bones of a forest while some simply burned. 

Fili picked up rock after rock while Kili rested somewhere outside amongst the chaos. Sweat trickled down the back of his scalp, wetting his collar. His pits and parts of his dirt covered from were wet and muddy from perspiration. When the brothers heard what had happened they knew Khelging was down there somewhere. Dead, or alive. They had no idea. Every five to ten feet in they would here a bloodied squelch before finding another body of a miner that could not make it out. When they found one of their kin, they would call out, step to the side and let a group come in to haul what they could carry out into the open to lay the remains along with the growing rows and columns of dead. Then, they would go back to work along side with many others. When it came time to rest another group would take over, digging further in, putting in fresh beams. There was a constant hum over the quarry, dwarves murmuring songs of grief and the dead. It created a haunting beat to work to making him bend at certain pitches, pick up a rock on another, pass it back to the line behind him for it to be carried out or put to the side. 

A hand came to his shoulder, a silent signal for him to let the next group come in. He nodded, pulling back, shuffling back murky outside world. He was thankful for the autumn rain and not the blistering summer heat that would have bloated the bodies with rancid smells that called scavengers and insects to feast on dead flesh. Instead, they had to put the bodies on makeshift racks and put up what tents they could to keep the blood from running into the exposed underground wells that was the only drinkable water around for miles. 

He trudged along, his feet feeling heavier than the rocks he had been lifting. He saw Dori, just as dirtied and raggled as himself coming out of another shaft. Due to his strength he was on one of the teams that brought in thick beams of wood for new supports. The two gravitated towards each other, taking in the comfort that could only come from old friends. They passed by the makeshift shelters for the dead, getting closer to the first aid stations hastily put up that left a large cover that was open in one side that provided a place for food and rest for the workers. They could already smell something cooking making their mouths salivate. Their King’s voice was starting to grow hoarse as he continued to shout orders for different subjects from beyond the encampment. Thorin was above the steep slope with Balin, the elderly dwarf issuing his own orders for the survivors of this tragedy. 

They went into the resting area, finding a place to sit down. Fili hung his head, running his hands through his ratty hair. He wanted to eat. He wanted to sleep. Most of all he wanted all of this behind him. No more dead, no more worrying over Khelging or Clarin. He wanted no more of anything. He didn’t want to be king, he had always looked forward to being a simple man in the Blue Mountains. Run his forge. Have his wife, have his children. That’s all. 

As if reading his mind, Dori leaned over and wrapped an arm around Fili’s shoulders. He gave a reassuring squeeze as the droning songs floated in the air from the mines. 

"Why don't you get some rest?" Dori asked in a low voice as if any loud sound would disturb those around them.

Fili scrubbed at his face. The idea of curling up to Clarin's side was heavy with temptation but it was getting difficult to go to her without news on their sister. Especially when a fever has caught her, her wounds started to fester. Whenever he saw her now she looked paler, weak and on the threshold of death. I wanted to lay with her, to tell her to stay strong, but he was so tired that he would fall asleep. Simply rolling over, his arm flopping against her chest in limp sleep could cause more pain and injury to the red wounds that Balin tried to keep clean and bandaged. Instead of leaving to see his beloved, Fili leaned over, resting his head on Dori's shoulder. The constant hum of the grieving songs of dwarves mixed with the ticking drumming of rain on the canvas above making a grim lullaby. Still his eyes slid shut.

While he slept Clarin was still in the covered wagon, her vision was blurry from pain as a strange dwarf she had never met picked at her breasts trying to keep infection from creeping in. She wasn’t even certain how many days had passed. Most of the time she spent asleep. Now she had a fever and a deep dread settled in her stomach. Not many dwarves recover from fevers like the one she had that burned her skin and gave her cold sweats that soaked her bandages. Despite the rain there were a few flies already pestering her.

“The bandages.” Clarin barely could talk, everything hurt so badly.

“Not now child.” Balin said softly. He moved yellowed cloth away from the gaping wounds. He would have to clean the wounds again, he needed something stronger than boiled water. He sat back on his legs looking down at the girl that could barely hold onto consciousness. He did remember once that Oin had boiled alcohol to clean a wound before… but would it help or only cause her more pain before death… He patted her arm as she slipped from the world of the aware. She breathed out Fili’s name and he decided it was worth a shot. He didn’t know the girl but he knew Fili and he wouldn’t burden the boy farther by not doing everything he could to save his beloved. 

Balin hopped out of the wagon. He would need a great deal of alcohol if it was to work. He would find some and bring it back. It may take him some time to look, as he didn’t know the area, but he would hurry. He didn’t want to leave her alone for too long.

It was roughly a half an hour later that Sigrun came to the back of the wagon. She was dirty, her clothing torn, her hair flew out in all directions caked and matted with blood and mud. She reached into the wagon, her hand wrapped around Clarin’s ankle. With a powerful yank she woke the girl by dragging her halfway out into the open. Clarin let out a scream seeing a hag of a dwarf. Fear gripped her heart as her mind was flooded with the images of her own mother taking her out of the hut to offer her body as payment to malicious farmers. She cried out, “No Mama! No!!” But Sigrun didn’t care. She pulled again, Clarin’s hands scrambled to find purchase on anything besides the furs she laid naked between. She was dragged out of the wagon. Her body hitting hard on the ground. Her head hit the ground knocking her out.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so close to having one horrible ending

When Kili saw the body he felt as if all the air had left him, sucked out by a long past spirit trying to steal his life. The dwarves that passed her along were careful, trying to keep crushed limbs together. Her weight was impossibly light with a contrast of being the heaviest burden he could have ever beared. His hands couldn’t find purchase in the dimly lit tunnel, slicked with cold muddied blood. He didn’t even make a sound when he fell to his knees, his arms scrambling to hold pieces together. He shook, eyes wide with free tears falling down his dirty cheeks. He tucked Khelging’s head under his chin, her cracked skull falling open giving him a moist pillow to lean his cheek in. The melodious hum of singing dwarves continued coming like gentle washing waves. He allowed his fellow dwarves to move him, guide him up through the tunnels until fresh air crashed onto his face. 

Air rushed back into his lungs.

Freezing rain cut into his face alighting his senses. He could finally feel the mud. Smell the acidic bite of blood and bile. He looked to his awkwardly placed hands seeing how broken Khelging’s little body was. One of her legs tumbled out of his hold. He scrambled for it, falling to his knees. Her still body limply slipped away from him in his bent over angle. 

He couldn’t breathe any more. 

He couldn’t see.

He couldn’t hear.

But he could feel the pain in his throat as he screamed.

Fili woke from a dead sleep. The cries of his brother all too familiar. A jolt of adrenaline had him on his feet. He heard Dori, shoved and pushed faceless dwarves to get to his brother. He forced his way through the crowd that was gathering around Kili at the mouth of the mine. They were trying to help him up. Trying to aid him in getting the body off of the cold ground. Fili saw the pieces of body that spilled out before his brother, scattered like pieces of a doll that a child had angrily torn apart. 

“No.” Fili crashed to his knees, his stumbling momentum made him slip in the growing mud. He crouched with Kili, his hands pushing at his brother, trying to get a look. 

It couldn’t be her. 

It couldn’t be Khelging. 

But these were her braids on her fingers. Her clothing torn, ripped. He gripped a hand that was missing fingers. 

This was his friend. 

This was his little sister…

He didn’t know how long he had been there with Kili. He didn’t feel how stiff his joints where when Dori was able to move him. He only noticed that one moment he was on the ground, the next he was standing with one of Khelging’s braids cut off and in his hand. He looked around unable to process what was going on. It was like being in a battle, where everything slowed down, everything muted. He ran on instinct. He had to find Clarin. He had to tell her. 

He had to…

He had to…

One foot in front of the other proved to more difficult than he first thought, his steps unsteady. It helped to think how he would break the news. How he would hold her tight and let her cry, he would take all of her pain while she suffered in heart and body. He would try his best to sooth her. He would do this for the love of his life, take it all with square shoulders, because he knew she would do the same for him.

Focusing on that made it easier for him to walk on the uneven terrain. Thick runoff clumped and dammed around what used to be roads. Wreaking sewage mixed with the swelling rain, pooling in every crevice of the damaged village. Once clear ways were torn into jutting spikes of earth and stone forcing the living to go around long paths. It was a long walk that Fili needed but dreaded at the same time.

 

Balin returned to the wagon to find it empty, furs and drag marks going down the hill. He ran down the trail. His heart hammered in his chest as he hurried before the rain could wash it away. He slid down the thick mud to the festering runoff that trickled polluted water into the different ditches and holes from the destroyed village. He saw Thorin cresting over a steep hill looking tired and worn. He ran off to the king.

“Thorin. We have a problem.”

“Another?” The king looked as if he couldn’t handle any more bad news.

“Fili’s mistress. She’s missing.”

Thorin’s eyes widened a fraction. “She was in no condition to walk last I saw.”

“She had not moved of her own will.” Balin motioned to the ground where there were quickly fading marks that tapered off and to the side of the path Thorin had come from.

Thorin didn’t say a word as he hurried down the trail, Balin quickly following. 

 

Fili’s heel dug into the soft earth as he descended the steep hill. He had to be careful or he could get caught in a mudslide. Once he got to the bottom he would have to cross thigh high water. He got to the carved bank hearing a moaning grunt as if someone was struggling up stream. He turned seeing someone in the water, a dwarrowdam trying to fish something pale out. Fili felt his heart sink, another body in the water, another death, another pain to add to this tragedy. He went to help. The closer he got the more something seemed out of place. 

The dwarrowdam was holding the body, not pulling it out.

The crazed woman was spitting out vile grunts and curses.

Fili knew that voice.

“Sigrun?”

The woman looked up, eyes flashing and crazy. “She did this, she did this!”

No.

Fili was running in the deep water. His heart refusing to beat.

No. No.

He saw the pale skin. Free floating arms and hair.

No!! No!!!

Beautiful eyes stared into nothing, muddied water washing over them.

“CLARIN!!”

He stumbled in the water, splashing as he tried to get purchase, reaching for pale fingers. 

“CLARIN!!!”

\------------------------------------------

“Fili!”

The prince woke with a start, his heart hammering, sweat coating his skin matting his hair against his face and neck. He jerked when hands touched him, his head knocking against the headboard. His hands flew up, grabbing wrists. Eyes wild as his world reeled.

“My heart. It was only a nightmare.”

Clarin.

Alive and well.

He sat up, pushing at her, looking at her breasts. There were no marks, no wounds. 

He yanked on her pulling her into his arms. He didn’t say a word as he tightened his embrace as much as he could. His breathing was unsteady as he felt an overwhelming relief that it was all a dream. A terrible, horrible, dream. But… he had never had such a dream before, not one with such detail, not with such pain.

Thunder rolled outside. A flash of lightning broke the sky apart. Heavy rain started to drum against the window of their room sending an unsettling feeling deep within the prince. 

Something about the rain…

Then all he could remember was the water in his nightmare. Lifeless eyes staring up, the feeling of dirt and blood…

“Fili?”

He swallowed. “Get dressed, pack only what you need.”

“Wh-”

Fili gripped her face, his hold tight. “We have to leave.” He kissed her roughly before pulling away, throwing the blanket to the side. “Hurry, my love.”

Clarin, though confused, hastily got up and did as she was told. Soon as she was dressed and her pack only half full, Fili grabbed her by the arm and pulled her along out of the room. He nearly ran down the hall, hurrying down the stairs to Kili and Khelging’s rooms. 

“Fetch our sister.” Fili told Clarin as he pounded on Kili’s door. “Kili! Wake up!”

 

Kili woke with a start. He fell out of his bed as he struggled to answer the door as quickly as possible. When he opened the door to find his disheveled brother he felt a horrid urgency stab into him. 

“What is it? What happened?”

“Get your things, we’re leaving.”

“What happened, Fili?”

“I…” How could he tell his brother that he was scared to death over his nightmare? A nightmare that he would rather risk running straight into Thorin’s wrath than even have a possibility of it coming true? “Just hurry! We still need to collect Dori.”

Once the small group was ready, Fili easily ushered them into the rain that was coming down harder than ever. He took hold of Clarin’s hand and pulled her along, not willing to let go. She reached behind her grabbing Khelging’s hand keeping her sister in tow. Kili jogged behind in the dark, every once in a while shouting up to Fili through the growing roar of the storm on directions to the Inn that Dori was staying. The prince came up to the Inn door, pounding on it so loudly that it started to wake up the tenants. 

“Dori!!! DORI!”

A window opened and a tired gray head barely poked out.

“Dori! Get your things, we’re leaving!” Fili shouted up and added, before Dori could protest, “NOW!”

“Fili, what’s going on?” Clarin pulled on her cloak, keeping it close to her shivering form.

“We’re leaving.” It was the only explanation he gave. 

Kili came up to his brother’s side, whispering into his hood. “You are scaring them. You’re scaring me. Tell me what has gotten into you.”

“I’m scaring myself.” Fili swallowed. He felt like a cornered rat. His blue eyes glanced over to Kili. He was quiet for a moment before he decided it was best to say. “I dreamed of something that should never happen.”

“You’re running us out of town in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm because of a nightmare?”

Fili challenged Kili with a glare. “You dream of finding Khelging’s body broken apart and witnessing your future wife’s death at the hand of the dwarrowdam you were once to marry.”

Kili fell silent. He didn’t know what to say. It was a foolish reason to leave now, but any reason to leave as soon as possible was welcomed. He simply didn’t wish it to be in such conditions. 

Soon as Dori had joined them, the group pushed through the storm. Vicious wind picked up, whipping rain in painful lashes against them. Fili and Kili huddled Clarin and Khelging between them, holding onto the women as they pushed towards the edge of town. They were nearly out when a bell started a ghostly chime in the night. They paused, listening to the two then three clangs that repeated.

“What is that about?” Dori asked trying to shield his face.

“The mines.” Khelging shivered in Kili’s hold. “They are flooding. Not good.”

“Can’t they drain them?” Clarin asked.

“The ground is weak, the tunnels will collapse if they do.”

Kili looked to Fili, the blond looked as startled as he felt. Fili pulled Clarin tighter against his chest. He turned, moving faster now. A flash flood. That was what was going to happen. It would wash out the support beams, collapse the tunnels below and the whole village was going to go under. He wouldn’t let his family get hurt, not if he could prevent it. Not after having that dream, that gift from Mahal. Or was it the help he asked for from his father? They were leaving and soon as they stepped out of town he felt the urgency die down. He still pressed them. Kept going.

It was an hour of fast pace walking that they felt it, the rumbling of earth shifting and moving. They all knew what had happened and they still, they kept walking. There was no going back. 

When dawn came they saw the early morning fire of a camp. The rain had died down to a tolerable drizzle that still soaked them to the bone. They headed for the camp, finding it warm and welcoming. The travelers shared their food and warmth, gave them a dry place to rest as their things dripped and steamed by the roaring fire. They stayed with the travelers for a full day before a caravan came across their path. The familiar wagons and the royal bearing of Thorin was hard to miss. 

The king was surprised to see the group. Though he frowned at them he felt a hidden relief as they relayed their story from beginning to end. Khelging and Clarin kept to themselves mostly, helping the women folk of the travelers with cooking and chores to keep busy and a personal way to thank them for their hospitality. 

“Her family owns land to the north?” Balin asked.

“Yes.” Fili looked up at Khelging as she handed him a bowl of stew. “Thank you.”

“Is there a way to prove that is her family’s land?”

“Her brothers, Ithil and Cithil had passed away. She has no other claim.”

“Does she have proof of her relation to her brothers?”

Kili leaned back as he watched Balin grill Fili with questions. What was the old dwarf doing?

“Her only possession is her bag.” 

“May I see it?”

“I… suppose so.” Fili put his bowl down, getting up he nearly knocked chest to chest with Clarin who had her hands full with more bowls of stew. “Sorry, I- where is your bag?”

“Right next to you.” She indicated with a tilt of her head. “Why?”

 

“Balin wishes to see it.” He crouched over grabbing up the battered thing. He walked around the warm fire and handed it to Balin. “What are you looking for?”

“Most landowners commission their tools, sacks included. Their family signia is usually embroidered somewhere, hidden.” He started to fish through the bag.

“That old thing? It’s on the inner seam, back left.” Clarin handed out the bowls to Dori and Kili. “It doesn’t show claim to land.”

“No.” Balin squinted as he looked. “But it shows family ties, which, with some help from an old hobbit friend who is a lawyer, we may be able to find land claim.”

“You… you what?”

Balin frowned and leaned back when he found the symbol. He nodded to it as he leaned over to Thorin who looked at it. The strange little thing made him nod. 

“Blacklock.”

“Yes.” Clarin sat next to Fili, tucking her skirt under her legs. “There are many Blacklock folk though.”

Kili grinned finally getting it. “True, but not in the north. The north is mostly Stiffbeards. Which means land claim will be easy to trace through local records.”

“You… you mean we can go home?” Khelging felt almost sick. 

“More than that.” Thorin looked into the fire. “...Clarin… my nephews mean more to me than a father could love his own sons… if you can produce the land claims as a dowery you may wed Fili.”

“But the land claims…” Clarin’s heart pounded in her ears.

“I already know where to look.” Kili smiled softly. “I ran across a lot of family land claims when looking for a way to get Fili out of his bad marriage arrangement.”

“Then…” 

Clarin looked to Fili. The prince cupped her cheeks and pressed their foreheads together.

It seemed like a fairy tale. So much pain. So much strife. But now, now a happy ending, and they got it. The land claims were harder to find than Kili had first thought, but a visit from his favorite hobbit friend proved very fruitful. Khelging recieved a good job in Erebor dealing with reconstruction and consulting mining structures with Bofur and if she spent some time with Thorin it was more than welcomed as Thorin found her to be refreshing with her quick wit and chiming laugh. 

Within a year of Fili’s marriage to Clarin they had their first son with such strong features to his ancestor that he was named Durin. His uncle Kili proved to be his favorite dwarf in all the world, right next to his grandmother, Dis.

End


End file.
